I tried therapy earlier this year to try and resolve some personal issues. I had about 4-5 visits total I think? On my last visit she unexpectedly let me know that she had gotten another job and that this would be my last meeting with her. She gave me a list of other therapists she personally recommends, but I feel too let down to try again. It took me over 7 years to finally seek help and this is how my first experience went. I think I would've gotten 1 or 2 more sessions from her, but I had a family trip planned and by the time I got back she would've already been gone. I don't think she meant for my therapy to abruptly end, but I still feel that only 1-2 sessions wasn't enough warning.

I'm terrified to try again because I hate rehashing things and having to give my personal history over and over. I'm curious to see if anyone is willing to share their stories about how they found their therapist or how they recognized that their therapist was right for them. I'd appreciate any insight. I want to try again for my own sake, but I want to read other peoples experiences with this topic. How many tries did it take you to find the right one? Are you still trying to find the right one? What do you like or dislike in a therapist?

I know this is a personal topic, so if you'd rather sMail me I'm ok with that. Any help would be appreciated.

I started therapy for a lot of reasons last year. I started at my university, and I went for some random relationship problems that I thought were affected me more than normal. In the routine rundown of questions, it turns out that I experienced a lot of trauma very young, but I never expressed it to my family. It did affect me a lot... like crying myself to sleep for a few years. I never told anyone, but when the therapist asked and I said "yes" to every "have you ever experienced _____" questions I was assigned a group therapy, specialized therapy, and general therapy.

Out of those three, I only really ever felt like the group was worth it. In my situation at least, connecting with other people with similar experiences really helped me grow. The group doesn't exist this year, so I've been seeing the specialised therapist. However, I never really felt like the other two therapy session did anything... It was more demeaning than anything... I didn't feel connected to the individual sessions. I felt like they were just doing that scene in Freaky Friday where she just responds "How does that make you /feel/?" to everything.

Our group sessions were overseen by the specialised. In the beginning, none of us opened up very much but in the end we were all very close. We would express our feelings about how things affected our everyday lives. Having people with the same mindset helped me learn more about my mindset and also realize how much I could improve. Our overseer would teach us why we felt certain ways and how to readjust.

A friend of mine had PTSD and bipolar and a bunch of other stuff he developed out of the blue. It took him so long to find the right therapist but he said he knew right away. For me, it wasn't immediate, but with my progress I think it was right. I left every meeting super emotionally exhausted but I definitely grew.

I sought therapy (I'm assuming you're talking about counseling?) after what happened to me in 2009. The truth is: You'll know right from the start if the therapist is not right for you. I went through two until I found a good one. I guess I can't really answer your question, but in my experience. Try. Don't give up until you find that right somebody!

I also landed a psychiatrist too after what happened. Turns out, I had mental health issues that were hidden all a long. I still see him. He's the best, but I only see him once every 3 months.

Can you be of help?

I definitely understand the great dislike of rehashing things, I don't even like repeating myself on just short things if someone didn't hear me correctly the first time around. But anywho, I know that wasn't really the topic, I just had to throw in my comments on it. Sadly I don't really have an advice about therapists or anything, I've never actually had one. I did kinda have someone similar, he was a guy my mom knew at the church we went to.

He was nice and I could vent my frustrations to him, but he by no means really offered me any solutions or did the things a therapist would? I dunno. He did it for free anyway and it was nice having someone to talk to even if it did nothing for me other than getting to vent.

I am so sorry that your first experience ended abruptly. I hope you won't give up--you deserve to find a therapist that suits you.

I would look for someone in private practice, who is not part of a larger company, and who has been practicing for at least three years, preferably longer--both of these attributes make it less likely that they will disappear out of the blue.

If you go to quite a few sessions with someone and you just don't feel comfortable, try to find someone else immediately. I know it's difficult to tell your story over and over again (my partner has complex PTSD and we live and breathe this sort of thing), but it's absolutely imperative that you feel comfortable and safe and understood.

My partner was lucky enough to find her therapist on her second try. When knew the first one was not right for her because she did not seem to understand complex PTSD at all. So, always be sure that your therapist specializes in the issue(s) that you're having. When it comes to finding a therapist for my partner, it's always a red flag for me if they list too many specialties. When finding a therapist for myself (whose problems are valid, but in no way as serious as hers), I don't mind if they specialize in a ton of things, because I need very general help.

I was lucky as well and clicked with the first therapist I tried. I have to admit that I did not expect to like her--I judged her by her appearance, and affluent middle-aged white lady rockin' polka dots and carrying a Kate Spade purse just did not scream out to me, "I have the ability to understand and care about your problems." Boy, was I wrong, and I'm glad I was. She's one of my favorite human beings.

I'm sending good thoughts your way. Take care of yourself!

thank you all for your replies. I've read everything and I appreciate the insight.

Thank you VexVerlain for the stickers as well, that was kind of you.

I'd still love for more people to post if they can. Also maybe tell me what the room is like with your therapist? Comfortable, decent, or uncomfortable? For the first person I saw we were in a very small, cramped room and the chairs weren't very comfortable either. I found myself somewhat sitting on my side and adjusting a lot because the chairs were hard. I wonder how much the setting ranges from practice to practice?

I usually know if a therapist's style is for me when I ask these questions to them or myself: What's your approach/style? How will their listening reflect on me? (will they try to shove ideas I've heard a million times on me or a new way to approach?) Are they truly listening or more like doing a robot type script?

I've found myself unable to find someone human yet. I've tried a lot and the style is never someone I've been comfy with, which is why I've never set foot in group therapy for my bpd. It lacks the whole "humane" aspect of what I'm looking for. I've prefered seeing average social workers than therapists even if I would profit from it. Social workers aren't fit for that tho. They listen and let me vent but I'm still an empty piece of shit when I'm out of the office ha ha.

I agree with . I try to find therapist specialized in PTSD and borderline disorder instead of a general one (hard to find, sadly). I'd say the general ambiance is important too. To open yourself up, you need a good environment in which you find yourself pleased and at peace. Let's face it: we've tried too many uncomfy chairs :c

I sought therapy in 2011, but it wasn't until 2015 when our therapy group got a new co-therapist, that I actually really started getting "real" help. I have really big issues with selfproclaimed authorities, where I need them to "prove" themselves to me, that they're actually competent before I will consider opening up to them, but eventually she was able to see that I wasn't gaining anything from the group anymore. She offered to take me on for solo sessions, which I am currently in now. It took a really long time for me to trust her, but she has taken the time to sort of understand how my thought processing works, and rather than suggest bland overused ideas, she proposes different perspectives to challenge my cognitive patterns. I like that she comes off human. She doesn't mind telling about her dog when we are off the clock, but is super professional when we are in a session.

Idk i don't have that much experience with therapists in general, I just know that I have certain expectations of people even if I can't define off the bat what they are.

I started therapy probably...6 or 7 years ago for anxiety disorder and it really wasn't what I expected completely.

I always pictured that therapy would be me laying on a couch or something venting about stuff and that my therapist would look at me and say "well how does that make you feel?"

Turns out that there is some of that, but it ended up being way more helpful. She really helped me figure out ways to recognize when I was having an anxiety attack, and how to get it under control. She helped me learn that I have control over my life. I don't HAVE to do the stuff that makes me so anxious, but if I want to do it, that I could ease myself into things that made me comfortable. I am 1000% better now and I really am thankful for my therapist.