So, I have had cats for at least the last 9 years, and I would like to think that I know a lot about them. However, when one of my friends came to me for cat advice, I was just at a loss and didn't know what to tell him.

Here is the situation:

My friend didn't particularly want a cat, but his significant other talked him into getting one. The cat turned out to be bored and lonely with how much both of them work, so they got a second cat. The second cat is still a kitten, but is apparently teaching the older cat bad habits. Both cats are jumping up on the table and counters, and trying to eat the fish that my friend's significant other has in a bowl. They have tried yelling at the cats, moving the cats, putting tinfoil on surfaces to make them not want to walk there and (even though I told them not to because I don't think you should) using a mat that lays on the table that shocks the cat when they touch it. The cats behavior is getting worse. They are still climbing on everything, knocking things over, and today apparently almost knocked down a tv.

My friend is really upset because he has to keep the door to his computer room closed because of the computers, game table, and fish that the cats keep messing with. He is looking for a way to get them to behave so that he doesn't have to keep the door closed.

I don't get why it's a big deal to open a door when you want to go into a room. You go in, and while you're in there, you can keep the cat out of trouble. While you aren't in there, you keep the door closed. That's how I keep my cats out of my basement and out of my upstairs area where they can get into walls. I don't think it's that big of a deal. However, for him, it's apparently a total deal breaker, because he thinks that he should just be able to walk around the house without opening and closing doors randomly.

At this point, the only thing that I can even think to tell him is that maybe a cat isn't the pet for him. He only wanted the first cat, but his significant other sold him on the second one. Now they are both in agreement that the second cat has to go, which will put the first cat right back at being lonely and depressed.

He has even asked me to trade cats with him and give him one of my cats (who are all pretty much a cat family and wouldn't like being separated), expecting me to do it even after being told that I don't want to separate my cats and after him telling me how awful his cat is.

Does anyone have any suggestions I can give this guy? I'm at my wits end, and he just keeps asking me for help and I'm out of ideas.

If the first cat is lonely but well-behaved on its own, I see a couple of possibilities they could try (all of which, unfortunately, require finding a new, better-suited home for the second cat or surrendering it to a shelter. If it's the second cat that's causing the behavior problems, I don't really see any way around them not keeping it.)

1. Have just the one cat, but play with it/interact with it/keep it company more often. Humans can fulfill the needs of socialization for the cat just as well as other cats, they just have to put a bit of effort into it. (Not saying your friends aren't, just it irks me a lot when people get pets as accessories rather than living animals with needs.)

2. They can get a different second cat, but this time they should look at adult cats: adults are more set in their personality, often less boundlessly energetic, and therefore easier to handle than kittens. Some shelters even have programs where they waive the adoption fee for senior cats. (They should definitely see if the shelters have a try-before-you-buy or adoption interview option: that way they can see how the two cats interact to help determine if it'll be a good match.)

Thank you. :) I think you're right, there probably isn't a viable way to get to keep the second cat.

1. They pay attention to it as much as they can, but both of them are out of the house for about 12 hours a day Monday-Thursday, and gone most weekends. I don't know that they are really looking for a cat, I feel like they need something more like a fish.

2. Yeah, that's what I would have recommended at first, but nooooo, one of them really wanted a kitten, and the other one was pretty easily convinced. I think that a trial run with a cat would be really awesome.

Wow, if they're out of the house that much I think you're right, they should probably stick to something simpler like fish or a small terrarium pet. (granted that doesn't mean they'll listen if you suggest that, at least they didn't get a dog or a puppy!)

Some shelters (at least the SPCA local to where I am, so maybe other SPCAs too) will let you foster an animal pre-adoption so you can see how they fit in at your home, since it's such a different environment from a shelter (doubly so if you have another animal, or small kids in the house). They could go ask about if that's an option at their shelter so they can try and get the best match possible for their cat.

Some people are just super determined to have a pet, despite perhaps not having the proper time to care for it. Like... even a fish needs attention and food and such, haha!

Cats are solitary by nature, and 9 times out of 10, they are pretty content being on their own or with their human(s). Also I don't quite know what possessed your friend to get a kitten of all things when they are out of the house so much... of course they're going to get into things when they're unsupervised, haha! Thankfully as cats get older, they usually grow out of being as mischievous, but that's not always the case for every kitty.

I know he said he doesn't want to keep doors closed and such, but like... how much does he value his stuff? Because, yeah, leave the door open, but don't get mad when stuff is knocked over and cords get chewed...

I agree that they need something more like a cage or terrarium pet. But I really do doubt that they would listen if I suggested something like that, but I could try. I really like the trial run idea. They really are lucky that they didn't get a dog. That would have been a freaking mess.

He's a weird guy. He is really obsessive about his things not getting knocked over or chewed on, but he also doesn't want to be bothered to keep the doors closed. Part of owning a cat is understanding that they do stuff like that sometimes. One of my cats is 4, and I raised him from birth, and he really likes to chew on phone cables. That is something that I have accepted about him, so I try to leave them where he can't get them, but if he chews one in half, I more or less saw it coming. I feel like they really don't have time for any animals, but you know how well people listen when they're being stubborn.

Have they got anything that the cats can climb on for themselves, like a cat tree or hide and play cube?

Patience might be the best way here, placing more new things on the tables and surfaces is probably catching the kittens curiosity. I'd suggest calming telling them to get down, point and the floor and say 'No' sternly but at a normal volume (yelling at cats often scares them and will trigger that natural 'I need to be high up and safe' response). If the cat doesn't get down after repeating this three times, go over and pick him/her up, place them on the floor, point and say 'No' again. Whenever they get down by being told, praise them and give them a treat and a quick scratch. I used this on my Norwegian (he was a nightmare for climbing) and got him some interactive toys (one of his favourites is something called a Star Chaser) to get all that kitten energy out.

Keep cables tucked away neatly and do the same as above, gently pull the cat away and say no when they chew.

Yeah, they have a cat tree, and they have boxes and stuff for them to play in. I've told them to stop putting things on the table and to tell the cats no, but apparently they they want to avoid "being the bad guy". That is what I do with mine though, tell them no then pick them up and move them. I more or less have mine to the point where they don't do things like that, except for one, and he maintains eye contact with me while throwing my things on the floor, because he's always jealous when I do anything that isn't petting him. They've tried interactive toys, and I think they even have an automated laser pointer for them. I think they think that telling your cat no is the equivalent of yelling at them.

Tell them to try hiding treats on the things they are allowed on and give them tons of praise when they use it, maybe try explaining to the owners that they need to be taught what is for kitty and what isn't the same way you would teach a toddler. I placed my cats dry food bowl on one of the platforms near the top, showing them it's all okay to be up there. Explain they're not being the 'bad guy' for saying no, just making sure kitty doesn't get hurt being where they shouldn't. If they aren't willing to put in effort, I agree with comments here, maybe it's time to tell them a kitten isn't for them.

Haha, sounds like a little trouble maker! One of mine is in a rebellion stage, she'll often meow and look away from me when I say no, until I get up. Then she knows she can't get away with it and down she'll get x3

So it sounds like his cats are both climbers and like to be in high places. I would suggest him getting tall cat trees for them to own and use as hang out spots. I would also suggest having him add cat shelves to his walls in a strategic way so they can get from one end of the room to another without even having to touch the floor. The idea is to give them places that are ok for them to go so they don't resort to places that are not ok.

Here are some ideas to show you what I mean:

Idea 1 Idea 2 Idea 3

If his cats are deliberately knocking things over, they are only doing it because they are bored and see it as a fun thing or are seeking attention and see that knocking things over is the only thing that gets a reaction out of him. If this is the case, he needs to play with them more and get them tired.

I like the idea of hiding treats and stuff for the cats. I've heard that that's supposed to be good for their hunting instincts too. I've also told them before that cats are like little kids and that you have to show them what they are and are not supposed to do. You can't just let them learn the hard way. I had a friend who's cat set his tail on fire, because she never taught him to stay away from candles. O.o I will pass on the ideas. :)

They have a cat tree, actually. I really like the cat shelves. Those are really cool. Now I want some of those for my cats, lol. I've also assumed they were just bored if they're intentionally knocking things over. I tried to tell them that cat have a lot of energy. The problem is that they are always depicted as being lazy.

Oh gosh that poor kitty! Sometimes the owners need training just as much as the cats, haha. Treat balls are great too, mine spend hours rolling it around knocking the treats out of it. I fill it up before I leave to keep them occupied. I made them some toys with treats in too, some old plushies that I took all the stuffing out of and closed up with velcro. They love 'hunting' them down and pulling them open x3

I must have the worst cats, lol. Mine figure out how to get the treat balls open and just eat everything instead of playing with them. I'll have to suggest that to my friend though. His cats are probably more normal than mine are. I've done the plushies thing before, but with catnip. My cats thought that was awesome. I could totally make them some of those to give to their cats, though, since I'm crafty and they aren't. Good idea!

Anyone with cats will tell you, getting an adult cat a kitten isn't the best idea. Kittens need, well, kittens, to learn social cues and not be lonely/bored. Same with an adult; they have an adult friend because adults (especially humans!) don't really want children as friends. Yes kittens are adorable and that's why everyone likes them but they don't like what they need to do as a responsible pet-parent: They need a metric ton of patience, willingness and to be shown positive reinforcement. I have a year-old cat; she's still a baby and is still learning but for the most part, she behaves! Because she knows what "no" means (but not what "ouch" means ;_; ) and understands positive reinforcement by way of treats, praise and affection. Unfortunately, she grew up lonely/bored so she's highly attached to us. If she had a kitten her own age, she would have got on better with being gentler about play and be less rambunctious. (Worth noting, I did not originally adopt her myself. I would have adopted her and a littermate if I had.)

Cables that get chewed, need to be better kept tbh and they should determine which get chewed most. It's out of boredom, predominately, and they might like a specific cable. Tex (my cat) LOVES fettuccine style cables--the flat ones that don't tangle--and will destroy them every chance she gets. She doesn't care so much for others, so we know what she likes and take steps to avoid it. If they do something bad, saying "no" audibly and getting them to learn it will help. Wear them out with toys while home; ribbons, lasers, etc. There are electronic toys that have timers so they can set up the toy to go off at certain periods while they're at work, to occupy both cats.

Having high places for the cats to go that's "appropriate" is definitely a good thing; they have "tree dwellers." They'll go anywhere to be high up and observe!

Many, many many many many shelters need people to foster and socialize cats, and will let the foster parents adopt said cat. It's called foster-to-adopt and sometimes a "foster fail" if the people fall in love with the cat when not intending to! :P While it is very sad that the kitten might have to go, fostering an adult cat could prove to be exactly what they need for their adult cat.

Don't separate your cats either; bonded cats will suffer horribly on being broken up. Plus you, as their pur-rent, would be heart broken.

Is the kitten in question spayed/neutered?

I agree. I don't think it's a good idea to get a kitten for an adult cat, unless the cat has really shown a particular interest in kittens, like how some people foster kittens because they have an adult cat that will raise them like they were theirs all along. They do need a ton of patience though. We had a pregnant cat once, and she ended up only having one kitten, and she didn't want him, so I hand raised him. Without a mother to pay attention to him or any kittens his own age, he grew up to be really clingy and attached to me. We ended up with a couple of other kittens that I was keeping temporarily when he was around 12 weeks old, but he was still more all about following me around than being a cat.

I like the idea of electronic toys on a timer. I'll have to suggest that to them. I think motion sensor toys that will interact with your cat and give them treats are pretty cool too, but I don't think I've seen any of those outside of in development on Kickstarter.

I've learned that cats really do love high places. Mine will compete to see who can be in the highest place, and that has lead to one ending up on top of the fridge before even, but I broke them of that habit pretty quickly, and they have a cat tree. What confuses me about his cats is that they have a cat tree, but they seem like they are just really apathetic about it.

I think that fostering an adult cat would be a really good idea for them, actually.

I would never separate my cats, because I know how sad they would be. There are six of them they all kind of have a favorite friend that they want to play with more often, but they more or less all play together and seem like they are a big cat family. I would be so sad if I didn't have any of them.

I don't think his kitten is spayed yet, but I think they have that scheduled.

Precisely. It's like the dogs who like kittens: the animal needs to like/want to interact with them vs forcing it. Then no one is happy! We had a pregnant mom show up and took her in (we also kept her after the fact), then helped her raise her babies. Everyone came out social, loving to be held and cuddled, and mama cat was satisfied with that.

Chewy.com offers them, and you might find them in pet stores. I haven't been in a pet store lately, and my mom has been doing a lot of Chewy shopping lol! Cheaper to get large things of litter delivered.

Oh the cat tree apathy! Cat nip and play will help, as will positive reinforcement. They could try to "train" the cats by putting treats up and leading them to the tree with toys, then the cats realize "Treats! Treats are here!" Plus setting it near a window could help.

Fostering is good for everyone; cat gets out of the shelter into a loving environment, shelter can help other cats in the interim, and people get to socialize with a cat. It's especially good if someone isn't sure a cat is for them or they want to try different breeds/personalities in the home. <3

I have two semi-ferals who are absolutely bonded and they have a brother whose more bonded to us than anything. Bonds being broken is a devastating situation for animals, which sometimes people don't get. T_T Cat's not being rude because it hates you, it's missing someone terribly. When a bond is formed, everyone is best left with their mate.

That'll help some with behavior. Cats actually do calm down once they're spayed/neutered (and then you only have to hear the Song of their People at 3AM lol). It's healthier for them, in the long run. Tex definitely became a lot less vicious after her spay. She'a still frisky but now I don't have to be so worried :)

Yeah, I've seen cats chill out a ton after being spayed or neutered. All of ours were fixed as soon as they were old enough, and that has helped a ton. We had a female cat that we failed to have fixed after her first pregnancy and she was the worst to listen to.

Luckily, I don't think that these cats are bonded exactly, so that should be helpful anyway.

I will recommend all of the things. Also going to look into Chewy.com myself. Maybe I'll find cheaper cat litter. xD

Its definitely a good change to make, because then the cat can relax as well; no more hormones winding them up which makes them a miserable as you :(

Its not often an adult cat will bond to a kitten, especially not quickly. If kitten has to go, they can easily foster an adult since adults are less likely to be adopted. The kitten will likely get snapped up since people go loopy over the itty bitties while a perfectly good adult sits waiting.

LOL my mom buys the REALLY big boxes of litter and 16lb bags of food there, so its cheaper in the long run. They have plenty of toys too, that range in price.

That's pretty much what happened. They had an adult cat, and one of them saw a kitten and basically lost their mind and had to have it, because it's cute. And I get that. Kittens have cute little toe beans, and the little ears, and they make cute noises, but I would definitely adopt an older cat before a kitten because no one ever wants to adopt them.

Also, that site is amazing.

Yep. I love kittens, I adore them, but I love adult cats too. They can be just as adorable and kitten-y lol! Some of our cats act like overgrown kittens.

Yes, it is. We love it.