I don't understand what's wrong with me. I don't know why I can't accept getting close to anyone, minus my fiance (which even then there's still issues). I would love to be able to open up to people and create lasting friendships, but there's this pesky wall that won't come down.

Whenever I get closer to a person, I start retreating. I've stopped contact with some friends because of this. And, I don't know if it's because I think they're boring or not. I mean, it's hard to find someone who has similar interests as me (I seem to attract movie lovers, which I'm not). Perhaps it'll be easier with someone who I consider lots of fun and relatable?

I seem to have a similar problem online. Like, I love talking on here, but I feel like nearly everyone on here has some sort of connection with someone else and I can't get that sort of connection because of the stupid wall.

I do have social anxiety and a lot of emotional baggage. I'm in the process of trying to find an effective therapist... I've had no luck so far because I'm a difficult case. I just kind of want to know if anyone else has or has had this sort of wall affecting them.

I'm pretty sure based off of this post we are the same person. I find it really hard to let myself get close to people too, even if we have lots of fun and common interests. Part of it is due to being hurt by people who I've let into my vulnerable space before + social anxiety/depression, but honestly I agree that part of it is also being unable to relate fully to most people I've met. We might hang out and share some interests, but we might not share some other major interests which puts the friendship at a standstill. I'm really into gaming so I meet a lot of people who like games and get along with them, but I feel very left out of a lot of group conversations, because my gaming friends tend to not share my other interests (I only play single player games and I love maths/physics, jigsaws and music) and I don't share their interests (multiplayer games, TV shows, movies, literature and computer science).

I'm trying to learn that it's ok if not all of my friends are super close and intimate - I feel like if I'm not extremely close to somebody that I must be boring to them and bothering them all the time. Like you said, it leads to pushing people away, even people who you enjoy talking to. I've only got a couple of close friends as a result, but we don't see each other much. I just hope that as I go through life I meet more people like me, but being lonely in the meantime is so hard.

Subeta is honestly a difficult place to make friends I think, it's not just you. Lots of people have expressed that sentiment, especially as the boards aren't as active as they used to be while also being made mostly of existing groups that are hard to break into. Everybody is friendly, it's just hard to make that first step and be the new person in a big group of existing friends. I actually prefer Reddit for talking to people online casually, because you can go to a subreddit for a thing you love or just a subreddit for casual conversation and go from there.

Finding the right therapist for you is a real pain, but it's worth it in the end. My therapist is actually a family guidance counsellor, I just 'clicked' with her despite being nothing like her usual client. She was the only one who picked up on my ADD, and the first therapist to make me realise that feeling trapped in my at-the-time circumstances wasn't healthy and that I deserved better. A lot of therapists seem like they're looking down on you for 'not trying hard enough', but a good therapist won't feel like that. Because we are trying really hard, just by trying to get help we've done something that can feel impossible in our minds.

But yeah, I don't really have any advice or anything, or if reading this novel of a reply will help at all, but feeling like you can't relate to the rest of the world is a very relatable feeling to me :p. I get super anxious whenever somebody replies to/messages me so I never reply right away but if you ever want to chat and aren't put off by extreme overuse of hyphens/parenthesis and general butchering of grammar I'm basically always online these days.

I can't seem to really make friends either, on Subeta or in real life. I have a hard time making and keeping friends. I mean sure, I might have tons of fun with that person and then this person will say or do something that will just end the friendship. I know that not everyone will have the same interests as you do. I met this girl in college and we hung out a few times, but the way she treated her mom was a deal breaker. Also, she didn't really want to do what I wanted to do sometimes. When you hang out with someone, it has to be a two way street. Person A has to do with PB wants and vise versa.

I've met some assholes in college and I was like "Nope. Not making any friends". I prefer to be alone with my own interests at heart and not be dragged along by someone else. I'm a loner and I'm more than ok with that.

I have a seemingly similar sort of problem I think. I really only talk to my best friend from school, her brother, her boyfriend, a friend who now lives out of state (her and I only text sparsely), and a few other people who are more aquaintences/friends of my best friend. I have a few work friends, but we really only talk at work. It's really hard for me to get close to anyone. I guess I feel like they're silently judging me or just humoring me and they don't really want to hang around me. I don't like talking on the phone at all. I mostly text to communicate. I even have trouble making time to spend with my best friend, because when I have days off from work, I really need to just be by myself to decompress from being around so many people at work. I find people very draining. But that's not to say that I don't like being around people. I really do. It just takes a lot of energy for me to do it. For instance, I had a fantastic time when I made myself go to a Halloween party the other night, but I was exhausted the next day. I don't know what I can really do about it except keep trying. Sociophobia/social anxiety, depression, generalized anxiety, misophonia/misokinesia...I'm a hot mess.

- Knowing that I'm not the only one who feels this way is what I really wanted. I get tired of no one understanding me or thinking I'm stone cold.

I'm an on and off gamer (thanks depression). I can't stand FPS games and horror games bore me. I also tend to get games way after they're released because I wait for sales and price drops. This leaves me out of the loop for most games.

I'm a frequent forum person and I do show up in the sb from time to time, but I feel like I'm not frequent enough to be in inner circles. At first, I was annoyed. But now, I'm okay with it. I know I don't need to be obligated to log in and chat everyday. I can't do that because of school and because there's days I need to be to myself. Starting a conversation on Reddit intimidates me, mainly because of rabid fanbases, but I like reading posts on there some times.

I think that it's good to have friends on different parts of the spectrum of closeness. But, it would be nice to have one person in the very close section. >.<

I don't mind butchering of grammar, hyphens, and parenthesis. I also don't respond right away if I'm not in a good mood to talk or because I'm anxious, so no worries. XD

- I've been dragged around as well because I thought the only way to make friends was to do whatever the other person wanted to and mold yourself to conform to their standards. This also happened in my first relationship... not fun times.

I'm realizing it's okay to be more introverted despite society always wanting someone outgoing and upbeat. I would rather do things I like to do and stay home most of the time. It's just those times when I want to be with someone else... I kind of wish I didn't have that need.

- I know the feeling of thinking I'm being judged as well. People and family always made fun of me growing up, so I think those experiences carry on to today. I feel like some of my friends are there because they have no one else.

People drain me as well... This even extends to my fiance. Sometimes, I need to be away from everyone and recover. But, I do like hanging out with others at times, but it's hard to find people who have the same interests. Plus, finding people who understand anxiety, depression, and my extra sensitive senses is difficult.

i can relate. i want to make friends but just can't put my self out there. i have social anxiety and am introverted. i understand the feeling alone and getting judged feelings. i thought i was the only one who felt this way.

i hope this post is still going on.

it didn't say that the post haven't been posted on.

- In Chit Chat, you're not supposed to post in threads that haven't been posted in over 3 months.

- Please lock!