So I met this guy at a club almost two months back. We instantly hit it off and even found out that we're from the same home town and have a couple of mutual close friends. Since then we've been on 4 dates which have all been quite long so we've spent a fair bit of time together. Currently I am out of town so we haven't had a chance to catch up recently but we have both agreed to meet up again once I'm back.

I recently found out that it's his birthday in about 3 weeks and one of our mutual friends invited me to a surprise party that she and his other mates are having for him... I'm wondering if it would seem too soon for me to turn up to a party for him hosted by his closest friends? I really like this guy and don't want to come across as too intense too soon and scare him off!

The other dilemma then is whether I get him a gift? Of course I would like to but again, is this too much too soon? and what is an appropriate gift for someone you just started dating? aaah help

Hm, no I don't think it's too soon really. If you were just friends it would be normal imo to go to the party. It would be too soon to throw the party yourself, but I think being invited by the mutual friend is a good thing. She would know the guest list he'd likely want, and you're on it.

Buy a small token gift. Shoot for under $20 and something that isn't too personal but on his range of likes/dislikes. It can be really easy like just a big bag of his favourite candy. It means you remembered. Being thought of makes everyone feel warm and fuzzy inside.

Thanks for that, that was just the reassurance I needed. :) I hadn't thought to give food as a gift, so I'm thinking I might bake something.

That's good that you decided to bake. It puts in a little personal touch to make gifts yourself of course, and who doesn't love food? If I were the guy I'd really like you too, probably! Haha.

Nope not at all! It shows you care and want to get to know him better. Most importantly: it's also hosted by someone else, not yourself.. and they invited you.

You can get something small (plant?, tea, small giftcard (iTunes)), or supply drinks/food! Hand-make a card and boom! Nice and non-nonchalant.

I wouldn't worry about it. It's just telling that you're interested in him and what he's all about. If you know what kind of stores or things he likes, you can easily pick up a gift card at Fred Meyer (or whatever supermarket you have nearby that has them) and put $15 or $20 on it. It's totally appropriate that you show up.

Hug

Thanks for the advice everyone. I decided to go for it and organise a gift, only to be dumped two days before the party, brilliant timing haha..