Ok?? I'm so. Done. With this. I wanna kill myself so bad it's ridiculous!!! I had a problem with my best male friend (let's call him A) a few months ago. We were dating, nothing serious, just dates. And I had an attack, I have severe depression, anxiety, trichotillomania, and other things you don't really want to know. He didn't like this so he just STOPPED TALKING TO ME FOR ALMOST 4 HORRIBLE MONTHS. Because he thought I was obssesive and other stupid things.

But hat if I am? I'm crazy, at the end, so who the hell cares!!!

He just started talking to me and we said we could date again in a few months but I'm not sure if that's the right dessision.

Well, yesterday, I called friend B (best female friend) because I wanted to see her. I really anted because I had a terrible month, I started cutting myself again but NO ONE seems to care. e are both in finals and she told me she couldn't, because she had SOOOOO much to study. I told her I just wanted to see her for a little bit because it was important, she insisted she coudln't. So we left it there. Today I called her. (night) And they told me she wasn't home, that something important happened and she had to go out. I was worried about her, so I called her to her cellphone. She was ate th DAMN CINEMA. WITH ANOTHER FRIEND.

I just wanted to see her so bad because I've been pretty awfull lately and she had to do this to me.

So I talked with A about this and he told me I was being childish, obssesive and possesive.

I can't keep dealing with this, I reallt can't. I bet he won't talk to me for another few months and I won't be able to deal with that.

I'm so done Maybe I'm crazy, obssesive, possesive, childish and what not. I really wish I didn't existed, so I woudln't have to deal with all of this.

And while writing this, I coudln't stop crying and screaming. Sorry. I might be crazy.

Im so sorry you are going through this rough state :( To be honest neither person A or B seems like a good person for you to be with. No doubt you can find someone who CAN deal with your episodes maybe even relate? And be there for you NO matter when you need it. Sounds to me just like crappy people. I hope you feel better soon!

I have a good listening ear if you ever need to vent! :* Good luck!

Thank you s much for answering and your kind words! I found a person who was able to understand and relate... Or at least that's hat I thought. He was my ex and only boyfriend. He also suffered from anxiety and depression, he also had schizophrenia. I thought he could relate... But when I told him I : hear voices in my head", he lied to me, he told me that was normal and I shouldn't orry about. I realized he didn't trusted me. He was so kind, but so jelous... He did some very cute thigs for me, and I tried to be the best girlfriend I could, writing him small letters of ho much I loved him, but at the end, when we brole up, he told me I was just lying about the voices and... sigh He's now having relations with a lots of girls at the same time. He does drugs, and doesn't believes on "love" anymore.

I feel a bit guilty about it. Like... Did I make im this way?

wait im confused? You heard voices or did he?! and WOW sounds like hes going down the wrong path. He needs help ;0; Poor guy. But the sad thing is he will have to want it, nothing you couldve done would have changed it.

I hope you meet omeone who is actually for you and able to help you. No telling when he will get his stuff back together. So many nice people out there. Please dpnt waste your time on crappy ones. Trust me I did the same thing dating the super wrong ones.

Both of us.. Like, mine isn't schizophrenia. I hear the voices inside my head, like, as if I'm thinking soething I'm not...? I don't know if that makes sense. It's as if I had different personalities... But pretty much no one believes me about this, so.....Q_Q

Yeah... It's horrible. Also, I'm feeling so much better now. Thank you!

that is so awful, i'm so sorry. but you need to drop that "boyfriend" of yours. if he really honestly liked you, or cared about you, he would never say those awful things to you. I have bipolar, depression, anxiety, and a few more things that aren't properly diagnosed. My boyfriend knows all about it, and understands what happens. We've been together for almost 3 years, and when I have an "episode", he knows that the person who is fighting with him, isn't really me.anyways, you need to find someone better. you need to find someone who wants to take care of you, and love you for who you are. you are normal, you will find someone, i promise. it might take some time, but things that are good don't come instantly.

now with your female friend, you need to either explain how you feel, or drop her if she doesn't understand. you need to tell her that you really needed her the other night, and she wasn't there for you. tell her you'd always be there for her, but you don't feel the same respect.

i hope things get better for you. if you ever need to talk, i'm here for you.