So, I was recently invited to my biological father's 50th birthday party, and I'm not really sure if I should go or not. I’m not particularly close to any of his side of the family, nor am I really close to him either. We didn’t really start having a relationship until I was an adult, and even now we only talk on the phone 2-3 times a year. We also email, but it’s only like every 3 months or so. So, yeah, not super close. Don’t get me wrong, I love my dad, I do. But, it’s always awkward when I visit. And it’ll be even more awkward to see them because I’ve become even less close with his side of the family(except for my dad) after they pretty much cut off all contact after I visited a few years ago for Christmas.

Also, since I’m young and broke, the only way I could really afford this trip is if I stayed with my grandparents. And I’m like 50/50 on them allowing that. Plus, it sounds like it’s going to be some really extravagant thing so there’s that to consider too.

Every time I think about going I get super anxious and have a mini panic attack. But, at the same time, if there’s a chance I can repair some of my relationship with my family I’d want to. I have no idea what to do. Should I go and just bare through it to make a good appearance, or should I just say fuck it?

(Please ping me your replies!)

Personally, I would go just so I wouldn't have to wonder "what if". It'll probably awkward and there'll definitely be uncomfortable moments... I know this because I've been in pretty much the exact situation you're describing. However, looking back I am glad that I made the effort. The relationship with that side of my family fell away, but it was because of lack of effort on their part and not mine. Today I am happy that I'm able to say "I tried". After you break the ice with the initial visit it will make future communication easier with them and you may end up finding something from that side of your family that you didn't know you wanted or needed.

I guess in the end ask yourself which action you'll regret more, going or not going, and then do that. Sometimes temporary discomfort is worth it in the end, but you'll never know unless you try.

Yeah, it's definitely more that they haven't tried. I mean, I could have maybe tried a little harder, but when you're the only person making any sort of effort you do get to the point were you're tired of trying. I think the main reason I'm so freaked out is that my aunt is dating this waaaay younger guy who's about my age and last time I was there he creeped on me pretty hard. And though I don't know if that's the exact reason they stopped talking to me, it's the only thing I can think of. I don't know if my friendliness got confused as something else, but I was just trying to be supportive because no one else was. My whole family pretty much hates him for financially using her. And I know he's going to most likely be there. And I also know that I'm probably going to ask my aunt why she stopped talking to me cause we were buddies, and I don't want the answer to be because of him.

But yeah, thank you for the advice! I'll definitely take it to consideration. I'm really sorry things didn't work out with your family, btw.

I would say to definitely go, if only avoid the "what if", as Secret said. Assuming you're able to get there and your grandparents let you stay with them, then it's only a temporary thing. You can leave at any time, right? As long as you kept your safety as a priority, I think it could all work out.