I have been in a relationship with a really sweet guy for almost 2 years now (in like 4 months). We have never had a fight, maybe a slight disagreement at best. We're always happy to be with each other and have a good time, never once has it led to disappointment. We have a lot in common and have fun doing just about anything with one another.

The issue is.. I see him only once a week, we live like 10 minutes away (by car). There isn't too much to do around here, but we usually just go for a walk in the park, see movies, etc. Small things that we enjoy. Mind you.. seeing each other once a week (or longer sometimes) has gone on almost two years. We work together (I know dating your coworkers isn't the best idea to begin with) but that's just how I met him. We are professional about it and I treat him like everyone else, so that doesn't really effect anything. He considers work as "hanging out" because he sees me. I just don't feel the same, because I don't really talk with him there, too busy doing other things. He has kept everything a secret from everyone, even his own family. He says he isn't ashamed of me or anything, just it isn't something he feels he needs to say. (no ones business) After about a year, he finally told his Mom, but she doesn't really believe him because he always joked around about it.. I'm not sure how to feel on it. Next is the fact I have never been to his house and he never wants to come into mine. So that's another chance to hang out, that never happens.. He is super understanding and cares a lot about me. He is not like most guys around here. (sounds like what most people would say.. lol)

Recently me and my ex have started talking again.. He has been basically in love (liked as well) with me since the beginning of high school (almost.. 8 years) We have talked basically everyday since we have been friends. He is the closest person in my life.A few weeks ago, he had talked about dating finally. It was something we had talked about a few years ago. but we never went through with it because I had a lot going on and went through one of my worst break ups yet. A few days after that break-up, we stopped talking for a few months and it was awful to be honest. Now we hang out at least twice a week and are back to texting everyday. I tell him everything.

The thing is.. I'm not sure if I should go about ending things with my current relationship because I don't like the secrecy and not being around him.. For someone who can offer all of that to me and I have known twice as long. I wouldn't jump straight into this new relationship. I would give myself some time of course.. But I think I would just like some opinions? Or maybe someone has gone through this before?

I wrote this a little fast and was doing things in-between, so I may have left details out. If you want to know anything more, please ping me. I would love to vent/explain more things, if it may help me come to a decision or solution to this heartache. IF you're not comfortable posting here about something like this that happened to you, my sMail is open.

Get back together with your ex.

When I first read your post, I thought I'd be siding with your current beau. It's amazing to find someone that you can do just about anything with. Comfort and honesty are the most important things in a relationship, in my opinion, and you seem to have found comfort in him. Unfortunately, there are a lot of serious things that need to be addressed. Work is not 'hanging out'. You need to meet each other's families eventually. You should've already visited each other's homes at this point, especially if you live within a reasonable distance of each other. It's great that you're both enjoying each other's company, but the current circumstances aren't ideal for a long term relationship.

If your current boyfriend doesn't know that you're constantly in contact with your ex, then I believe that your relationship is lacking on the second important factor. Both of you seem to be, to some extent, hiding something, and that's not considerate of either of you.

If you still have feelings for your ex-boyfriend, you're still in contact with him, and he is interested in dating you, then that's absolutely the way to go. If you enjoyed your time with him and felt safe and comfortable with him, then I think you'd be better off in that relationship. That way, you're not hiding anything from your current boyfriend, and you finally get the attention and validation that you need and deserve. A relationship needs communication and it sounds like you're going to get it with your ex.

Let me know how it goes and whether you need anything clarified.

He has been to my house twice, but he said he "just doesnt like it" he says he never goes over to anyones house. It bugs me and i have told him multiple times.

As for my ex, he knows we talk a lot and even knows we text currently. I hang out with him at least 2-3 times a week. I have always been supet open about anything i do. I tell him everywhere I go as well, just so i never seemed shady.

My current relationship seems more like a friendship, but im also his first actual relationship. Which is why I think I take it so lightly at times, when he doesnt want to hang out at my house or his... or expect to be told "i love you". After 2 years.. i feel bad wanting to just suddenly end things.. But I have talked about what bothers me enough for things to have changed..

I appreciate your response.

That's so odd. I can't imagine someone being fine with socialising, but not going into peoples' homes. I especially can't imagine it happening between people who are dating.

I'm glad that you're open with him, even if it is just so that you don't seem shady. I suppose it would give him some piece of mind. Still, I think that the differences between your interactions with your boyfriend and your interactions with your ex are strange and, no offense, a little bit backwards, even if it is your boyfriend's first relationship.

Two years is a long time, but if you're still feeling like it's more of a friendship than a relationship, and not in a good way, then it's probably time to end it before it goes on for much longer. Maybe this is just isolated to myself and the majority of young adults everywhere, but being in your first relationship is meant to be exciting and a little bit sloppy. You're meant to want to be together constantly and touching and just gross. Is he really so much of an old soul that he's just settled into "hanging out for two years" as a relationship?

I've never had a boyfriend, but from what I read, he kind of sounds like a loser to be honest. Doesn't want to tell his mom about you, or hang out at your house or vise versa. To me, it doesn't really sound like "he's into it". My advice would be to break it off with this dude and find someone who will really be worth your time.

Whoops. This thread is old, but it was still on the first page.