I was friends with this one girl for a couple of years, we would chat and lean on each other for emotional support. She said she had a crush on me, I told her I wasn't physically capable, and we sort of left it there.

She got a boyfriend recently, and I felt jealous? Now we're not talking at all anymore and I just feel so crushed... I feel like I didn't even see it coming.

I don't really know what to do with any of this. How I'm supposed to feel, what I'm supposed to think. I guess I just wanted to vent somewhere. Some of you have been sneaky sending me anonymous gift boxes so I guess I figured someone would actually be listening, haha. idk...

Is it possible you're jealous in more of a "but you're supposed to like me" kind of way, rather than "but I wanted to be with you"? The two feelings can be easily confused with one another, especially if not much time has passed for you to really process the situation. It may not be about your feelings for her, but rather you having to cope with her moving on from having feelings for you.

This, of course, is just a theory - and if it happens to be the case, it by no means makes you a terrible person for feeling as such. Emotions are tricky, and not always logical. So long as you don't take your upset out on her, and try to move forward as best you can, then you'll be okay.

Edit: It could also be more about the fact that you've been friends for so long, and that your friendship essentially died the second you turned her down. Now you see her moving on, making new friends (romantic or no), and that feels conflicting to you.

I assume I'm also aromantic and asexsual. Some people believe I'm lesbian, but I'm sure I'm hetero, if I'm may be not really asexual. Anyway I can have strong feelings for a man without the need for sex.

That doesn't mean my feelings for some person could be lesser than the feelings from a person who is not asexsual. It's a big misconception many people made about asexsuals.

If she has got now an other she is in love with, it hurts. It is always unpleasant if someone likes somebody else more than you and the feelings are not equal.

The only thing you can do is accept the facts as they are and in the most positive way you can still stay good friends with her.

I wish all the power to you.

The relationship wasn't an issue, we met when she was in one. It was the sudden absence that got me. So, I think you're right - I think I'm just sad about the end of the friendship. Thank you for bringing that up.

Asexuals can love romantically, true, but aromantic means you don't. And I don't. I can have platonic feelings that are stronger than normal friendship, but still not strong enough to be romantic. I think it's called a squish?

The confusing point is romantic could be by some poeple used as a euphemism for sex. I have no idear what is romantic, because there are different interpretations.

But you're right that some asexuals appreciate romance. * I have trivial clichés in my head to understand what is romance, dinner in a restaurant, watch movies, listen to music, dance etc *. (not a thing I like to do).

Romantic has got also less cliché ways. Altogether "romantic" is a relative term.

I think you're confusing romantic sentiment with romantic love. :P

I'm sorry that you're dealing with the absence of your friend. How long has she been dating her new partner? Is there the chance that this is just a honeymoon phase? I would suggest waiting until she's a few months into her relationship, then sending her a message and chatting online. Once you've established your friendship again, and that shouldn't be too hard, then ask if she wants to hang out. Although it happens a lot, a relationship shouldn't be the end of a friendship. People need to understand that you need friends outside of your partner.

Platonic love is when you're friends with somebody. You appreciate them for who they are and love them almost as a sibling. Romantic love is when you want to be romantically involved with a person. Not necessarily sex, but things like dating and hand holding. You love them in a more sensual way than you would love a friend. Actions are separate from love when it comes to defining things like sexuality. It's more about what you feel.

Not very long, so hopefully it's just a phase! We did manage to have a short convo today, so that was nice. She has a new job as a vet tech, apparently, so that's another thing that could be eating up her time.

Ah, sounds like life is just getting in her way then. I'm glad you got to have a brief conversation. Now, at least, you know that there's some reason for her distance and she's not just ignoring you. That should be a bit of a comfort, hopefully. I hope that you guys manage to chat again soon (and I hope that she has fun with her new job because that sounds awesome)! :)