Recently my cat has a litter of kittens, three to be exact. I had no intention of keeping any kittens even though I would like another; and went ahead and promised them to friends. I live with my boyfriends family and ultimately the decision is up to her and she had already said in the past that with a dog and two cats I'd reached my limits until we found our own home which I completely understand.

There is one kitten of the litter now though that everyone has grown insanely attached to, even my boyfriends mom. With the exception that I get my female cat fixed and as long as the kitten is a male she said she wouldn't mind having it around as part of the whole family's pet. However, this particular kitten is the one I've already promised one of my best friends since the second day it was born, and she looks at it every time she comes over. ): She herself cannot have another cat at her house as she has four of her own, but her partner said she would take it in for her.

Would you keep the kitten you became attached to or would you go through with giving it to your friend when the time comes? I don't want to seem like an inconsiderate friend and go back on my word, but this kitten is tugging my heart strings everyday. :/

Talk it out with the friend! If they're someone you spend a lot of time with anyways, maybe arrange to have times when you and your family visit the kitten. I'm sure the two of you can come to some sort of arrangement without you going back on your promise.

I would discuss that option but since the kitten is going to her partners house that's over two hours away I would rarely if ever see it. And her partner is someone I've just met myself finally after quite some time of them being together. I don't think they would be much interested in my family or I traveling two hours just to see it.

Do you feel would just give the kitten up then?

Yes. I know it's tough (my family has fostered kittens from our local shelter for ages) but breaking a promise to someone who's a very good friend is hugely hurtful and a huge betrayal of trust. Even if the kitten's living pretty far away, you can probably still make arrangements to see it every once in a while.

I think the answer is with the fact that she can't actually have another cat. The partner taking it in is kind of moot imo. I think we've all wanted a new pet, particularly if we see a baby, but unless you can take it directly into your home and care for it, I don't think it's really responsible to the animal to adopt it. Your friend isn't eligible for a new pet.

This is exactly why just about every adoption group, breeder, and cattery has rules that generally state that in the end, they can decide to refuse the pet to you. Even if you leave a deposit, they can refund the money and walk away. It's a way of protecting themselves for a myriad of reasons.

Because this is a living breathing animal that is a serious commitment, I think you need to put friendship feelings aside for a second and make sure you know all the facts. Does your boyfriend's mom really want the kitten? There are some conditions there, and it sounds like you don't yet know the gender of the kitten, so have they been met and it's 100% yes she wants the new cat forever? Also - what does this partner's home look like? Are they a cat person? Are they actually going to be a good owner, because you're not actually adopting the pet out to your friend, but her partner.

It'd be a much easier situation if this were about a toy, or heirloom, but a kitten is a living baby and you have to look out for its best interests, since you are the only one with the power to decide its future and well-being.

TBH I think the fact that your boyfriends mom is allowing you to keep the kitten despite her limits is an awesome blessing. Maybe you can figure out something with your friend - until she actually has the space for the kitten, it stays with you, since you are already equipped to keep it and all. Not to mention it stays with the mom a while longer. Between you and her bf, I'm sure you have a better and more stable growing environment for the kitten.

And you could leave it at that. That way the kitten is as little affected by where they decide to move or settle as possible, until they actually are settled. If you truly want to keep the kitten though, its within your every right if you've bonded with it and feel like its your own baby in a way. If your friend truly cares about the kitten too, she'll have to understand even though explaining won't be easy.

and both offer good advice also (i'd been taking it for granted that you'd already vetted the people it would be staying with before promising it to them.) It is 100% more important to make sure the kitten is well taken care of than it is to please your friend. Aside from that, I do believe that a promise is a promise, and if you want to change the conditions of your friend's adoption, you're gonna have to talk to them first and foremost.