I've never posted anything about my weight before, but I need some help and encouragement.

When I was in high school(about 9 years ago), I was 225LBS. I splintered my humerus bone and I went down to 150LBS. Then, in 2009, my friend forced himself on me and I've been gaining weight ever since. I am currently at the heaviest I've ever been. Right now, I am sitting at 280LBS. I don't feel good about myself and nothing fits (I can wear some Garage and Aeropostale depending how it's made, especially if it's really wide in the chest area). When I'm in town, I sometimes go to clothing stores that "skinny" people wear (like I was once) and feel so discouraged, I stuff my face with fatty foods in the food court.

I don't know if I have an eating disorder or a food addiction, but if it's there, I'll eat it. I'll eat all of it. Tub of ice cream, gone in one sitting, just like chips, cheesies anything that's junky (granola bars or whatever I find desirable.. not so much much healthy foods. They sit there and rot). I eat anything, really, right down to pastries. My psychiatrist thinks I might have an eating disorder.

I also have a heart condition. I know I need to lose weight. It will be better for my body overall, but--every time I exercise, I ruin it with fried foods, pop or anything that I can readily order, like pizza.

I know I have to change, but it's so hard. I need to start cooking and eating healthy again. I've started going for walks with my mom this week since it's summer like weather. I don't have money to join a gym (I've joined one before and I had to quit because of my back. I have a partially fused vertebrata which made it hard to use the machines), or to join weight-watchers.

Suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

You gave some good advice on a similar thread

It seems like you've talked to your psychiatrist about your relationship with food already, so that's a good start. You both should go deeper with this, especially if the weight gain was provoked by an assault (I'm so sorry that happened to you, by the way). One of the keys to overcoming this may very well be conquering that past trauma and putting it behind you.

For weight loss in general, I recommend a calorie tracking website like MyFitnessPal, but only after you've spoken to your psych about it. If you do have an ED (or are in the right kind of mindset to develop one), then counting calories is the last thing you want to introduce to your life. Most of weight loss is related to reduced food intake, so you don't have to push yourself too hard with exercise (though it's always good to move your body when you can). If it's possible to have a doctor monitor you while you're trying to lose weight, then that might help as well because it'll make sure you aren't doing anything risky during the process.

(I'm sorry for the late reply!)

I second what Chel said; it's good that you're seeing a psychiatrist and that they know about your relationship with food, but hopefully they will be able to reach a diagnosis in order to come up with a treatment plan. You do have to try and find the motivation to hold on to a healthier lifestyle and choices, but the good thing is you don't have to absolutely deprive yourself. An example of a good compromise is to have 1 day of the week when you can eat whatever you want. So you behave for 6 days, and on the 7th you can totally indulge in that ice cream or pizza you've been craving.

Don't worry about not having enough money to join a gym; walks are perfect because they are low-impact and 100% free, so it's great that you're doing that. Just walking 30 minutes everyday makes a huge difference for your health; one that you may not notice right away on the outside but it's definitely happening on the inside.

You can do stretching exercises at home too. Make sure your doctor tells you exactly what you can and can't do, especially when it comes to twisting and bending movements. Riding a bycicle should also be safe, but confirm it with a doctor first. It's actually one of the best workouts in order to shed weight.

Try to surround yourself with positive things and encouragement (like reading positivity/motivational blogs). Maybe you can even print out motivational messages and put them up on your walls.

I hope your health improves and that you manage to take care of your body and regain your confidence :)

I tried keeping motivational clothing out, but I get sick and tired of seeing them and shove them into my closet. I do have several pieces of motivational clothing I kept (mostly the plus size I ordered online that didn't fit because the chest area is made too small).

I haven't been going for walks lately because the weather's either been shitty, or I'm out and about taking my family for errands since my mom doesn't drive. My dad will never take the time off work or actually go out and get the things she needs.

I was actually looking forward to going for a walk today, but it's raining. I don't like walking in the rain because my pants are soaked half way through.

grabs your hands and hops around dancing and squealing I LOST THREE POUNDS THIS WEEK. I don't have anyone else to tell who will realize what a big achievement this is, so you're it! XD I can't wait to hear about your successes because I know you can do it too!

I joined Weight Watchers and after a while I was not motivated to go there any more. I was losing weight but I didn't feel like I knew what I was doing to lose weight. They basically just count calories but somehow made an easier system so people don't have to count 2000 calories by themselves. This was a few years ago though so they might have changed their plan.

I have the same "issue" with food: if there is a tub of ice cream I'll just devour it. What helps me though is to eat around 35-40 grams of cornflakes with milk and a banana in the morning (or two slices of bread with thin nutella spread and a banana - nutella + banana = awesome!) and I don't feel hungry till noon (that and I feel energised by this breakfast) and at noon I try to eat a few slices of bread with some raw veggies and some chicken (chicken filet or chicken baked in olive oil), this usually keeps me from craving food till about supper, where I just eat what I like for the day (rice or potatoes or pasta with some meat/fish and veggies; I try to avoid eating minced meat or sausages). When I crave for a snack I try to eat something small of around 70-75 calories. This usually keeps me around 1800 calories, which is perfect for me to lose weight (I need to take 1800 to lose weight and around 2300 to stay on my 93 kgs - around 200 pounds). Counting calories can be tedious though :/

For drinks I tend to stick to water only and I rarely drink soda. I can't even enjoy coke anymore, the only thing I can really enjoy is Fristi or a Monster energy drink but I'll only allow myself one of these on my cheat day (you NEED 1 cheat day in the week where you try to eat healthy but for example go get some fries and soda/pop instead of "healthy" food).

If you have a smartphone you could try to use a fitness app for some muscle exercises? I've had chemo treatment for approx 6 months and now I'm in a hospital fitness where they make me do the following, and it really helps me get fitter and leaner again:

• 30 minutes of cardio (10 mins bike, 10 mins walking, 10 mins arm bike - but you can also do 30 mins of walking; I just do the arm thing to train my arms)
• 2 sets of 10 on a few devices, but you can try to get 3 relatively cheap things instead: get 2 light weights (or use 2 small water bottles!) and a gym mat to replace most of the fitness' devices.

The exercises I do are most of these: Workout Picture. I do about 2x10 of those (I can't do some because my bone structure is still a bit more frail than the avg persons). If you're not sure about what workout you can or can not do due to medical issues, try to consult a doctor first? Rule of thumb for all exercises is to rest at least 20 seconds in between. You can also try to buy a heart rate meter to see if your pulse is fine while exercising, but if you're able to speak full sentences and breathe properly while doing these you should be fine. Of course I'm not a specialist, I'm only repeating what my physio therapist tells me. If you're unsure about something, ask your doctor or physio!

Don't see errands as not doing exercise though. Any type of movement is better than sitting on your butt all day! :-)

Thanks! I go for daily walks with my mom. Recently, I've been diagnosed with Diabetes so I need to eat three meals a day plus snacks. I'm really bad... I don't cook at home and I order out all the time.

I also have a heart condition, so I need to lose weight.

I'm sorry you're going for Chemo :(

Ah I see, yeah I'd talk food and exercise over with your doctor then to see what you can do and cannot do... Cooking can be really tough if you don't feel like it or if you're tired or whatever... I keep some 15-minute-meals handy for days when I really don't feel like it. If you google 15 minute meals or fast meals you'll usually find tons of healthy and easy to make stuff. The trick is to stock up a pantry with food that lasts super long (rice, dried pasta, dried herbs, some canned vegetables (not on oil!) for when you really don't feel like cooking.

I just noticed your post on motivational clothing... I just bought new clothing to fit my size that made me feel comfortable. I got some wonderful stretchy jeans and some T-shirts that don't look baggy but don't cling to my frame either (baggy is fine too, depends on the shirt frame I guess). But I don't think clothing with words on them help much. I think Sayuri meant more like post-its on your laptop/pc with tiny compliments like: "You can do it!" or "Go for it today!" or "Looking good girl!". You can also try to find a good picture of you from before you gained weight and put it in the kitchen, so every time you are going to get something bad to eat when it's not a cheat day you can see your photo, or a post-it that says something like: "Don't do it, you're doing great!". It obviously doesn't work for everyone so you need to figure out what works for you!

It's ok, I'm fine now! I survived Hodgkin's and I'm cancer free for a few months now. But I've gained 20 kgs (about 45 pounds?) the past year or two and I need to get that off really bad x__x

This might sound oddly specific, but I noticed a big change in my hunger and appetite when I cut down massively on sugar. It's in a lot of things you wouldn't otherwise expect it, like over-processed breads, drinks, and fast food. I first got paranoid about it after seeing the trailer for a documentary made by Al Gore a couple years ago. But I eat so little of it now that I notice a huge difference when I do eat it, especially when I have a candy bar in the morning. When I do, I just get hungry again in a couple of hours, regardless of whether I had a big breakfast or not, and continue being more hungry, and tired throughout the day. It's addictive. But cutting down and finding alternatives should hopefully help with weight, mood, energy, and heart problems. If you do try this I'd love to know how it works out for you!

Also if you pay close attention, hunger can also be a good indicator of what nutrients your body is missing, which is iron and calcium half the time, especially on your period. Try eating foods rich in vitamins and minerals to help curb the appetite.

One thing you can do at home is make your own pizza with pita bread, a healthy brand of pasta sauce, some shredded cheese, any vegetables at your disposal, and a microwave for one minute. Will most likely be a lot healthier than the stuff you get at fast food places.

I just found out recently that I'm diabetic, so I need to cut the sugar,carbs and fried foods. It's so hard right now because I want a doughnut, a pop, bread ect. My leg and ankle have been swollen for probably a little over a month, which I just noticed a few weeks ago. My mom said it's all part of diabetes and that I'm retaining fluid.

That's rough. What are you able to safely eat these days? It definitely takes a while to build a habit of saying no to goodies but you're doing a great thing for yourself mentally and physically in the long run.

I actually spent today watching that documentary, which you can find here: https://xmovies8.org/watch?v=Fed_Up_2014 It was really down to earth, and talks about how with the way things are, being healthy isn't always as simple as eating less and exercise. It even talks briefly about an experiment done on lab mice that were addicted to cocaine, and found that sugar was even more addictive to them. Which might explain why it's so difficult to stop all at once. If the idea of watching it doesn't completely turn you off (which I would understand) it might be helpful in thinking about eating certain things differently.

I am so sorry to hear about your situation. My heart goes out to you. ❤️

The underlying issue seems about what happened, when your 'friend' forced himself onto you. If you want to loss weight and solve the problem, you need to first work on dealing with what happened in a healthy manner. It seemed your eating disorder is how you were trying to deal with what happened. You should probably see a therapist and talk to someone about what happened to you in order to move forward and come to grips with the issue.

PLEASE KNOW ITS NOT YOUR FAULT. You are an AMAZING PERSON. You deserve so much.

For working out - you can always find ways to workout. Get some new clothes. Go on a run, look up yoga/workout videos on YouTube! Look up workout routines on Pinterest! Look up meals on Pinterest! It's totally free!

Hello! I wish you the best on your weight loss journey, because that stuff is so hard. I currently weigh 280-ish pounds and need to lose weight, but I'm incredibly tall and incredibly broad with PCOS, so my weight constantly fluctuates. Basically what I'm saying is that I know it's hard. To lose weight is the best thing for you though. Please always remember to look after yourself.

FOOD:

1. First, cut down on sugar. Don't drink soft drinks and limit the amount of coffee that you drink. Replace air drinks with water, but if you still want some sweetness, treat yourself to juice or a smoothie (see below) once a day. Try to wean yourself off the sugar.

2. Eat three meals a day. Eat a big breakfast and then a regular-sized lunch and a regular-sized dinner. This will stop you from snacking during the day and will allow your body to evenly burn off the fat.

3. If you do snack, find something that is low in sugar and salt. Some mixed nuts, fruit, or crackers.

These first tips are about managing your appetite. It's going to suck, but if you control the amount of sugar, salt, and fat that you put into your body, then you find yourself craving them less. If you eat enough fiber, then you find yourself being less hungry during the day. This alone is highly useful when it comes to losing weight, as you're no longer overeating.

4. Speaking of overeating, make sure that the food in your house is not the instant kind. Don't stop up on foods that you can just grab and eat. Don't buy ice cream for a little while. Don't buy cookies, donuts, or candy. If you know that you have a food addiction, try and limit the amount of food around you at any given point.

5. Once you've got your appetite under control, you can start experiencing healthy and fun snacks and meals. I especially like looking into vegan and vegetarian alternatives, just because they tend to be the most creative.

Kale, quinoa and roasted pumpkin pilaf Asian Hot Pot Smashed White Bean and Avocado Club Vegan Lasagne Barbecued corn with tomato and almond salad Curried Eggplant With Tomatoes and Basil SOME HEALTHY BREAKFAST SMOOTHIES

EXERCISE:

1. Make it a habit to go outside, even if you're pretending that you're walking a lot, even if you're only pretending that you're doing the hardest thing in the world. As soon as it's a habit, it'll become a lot easier to actually do the workouts. Just stay motivated and proactive. (This is personally why I can't lose weight very well. I'm not motivated enough.)

2. Tell the world. Tell everyone you know that you're going to walk a certain amount every day and then post proof of it. Tell them that you're going to set a goal and then document your progress. The pressure will keep you motivated and fair of everyone knowing that you quit will make you stay focused. This tip is pretty lousy, but god, it works. I told everyone that I was only going to walk further and longer than my previous day, every day. In a week, I ended up walking on the treadmill for about 20 hours, just because I started with such a high distance and I wanted everyone to know.

3. Make exercise fun. If you have a dog, walk the dog. If you have friends who do yoga, join them. Go to a local swimming pool or explore a local track. Go bike riding. Join a sports group.

4. Don't be afraid to slip in a short workout before a shower or when you first wake up. You never have the excuse to say that you're too busy, because there are some great 3-5 minute workouts. HERE and HERE, for example.

You started this thread over a month ago and I hope that you've had some luck. Weight loss is a hard and treacherous task, so no one will blame you if you're struggling. Just remember to stay determined! If you ever want to chat or if you ever need help (or more links), feel free to message me here or on my Tumblr (below). I'm always a listening ear and I'm always willing to help.