So, as the embarrassing title, this is true. I really need advice on what to think, say, or do. Hell, to even feel at the moment.

So let me break it down for you guys: My dad is a 61 year old, retired electrician with his own business on the side. He got divorced recently to my mother of 20 something years. They divorced because my mother is a terrible alcoholic who left us for a different family while she was away in "rehab". So it's just me, my dad and my dog living in our house. I'm always gone half the day, due to school and my life with my boyfriend. I don't blame my dad to be upset and lonely, and wanting a companion to forget my mom and the pain she's caused him.

Now, he's dating a 30 year old. Mind you, SHE'S HALF HIS AGE, and 10 years older than me! I find it disgusting, and terrible that this lady is doing this to my dad. Because I can bet you all the money in the world that she's not just dating him for his "good looks". My dad is extremely vulnerable, and trusts people VERY easy.

What's bothering me is that this woman is using my dad right in front of me. I've warned my dad that there is a extremely high chance that she's just using him. Obviously he doesn't want to think that because he's actually developing feelings for her, and the last thing I want to see is her suck my dad dry, and break his heart.

Another reason I'm upset is that he's treating me like I don't even exist to him. He goes out, doesn't come home till the middle of the night, or doesn't even come home at all. Of course he's an adult and can do what he wants, but out of respect, we always tell each other where we are going and when we'll be home, and he doesn't even care anymore.

This lady is going to ruin my dad, I just know it. I don't like her at all. Yeah, I guess she's nice, but she's overstayed her welcome at my house. My dad lets her stay the night sometimes, and she takes over the TV in the living room, she goes grocery shopping of food SHE likes, and throws my stuff away.

I'm sorry for the rant, but I just needed to get this out. I just need someone to talk too... please.

My dad went through a similar thing to your dad. My parents have been separated since the early 90s, but my mom just filed for divorce around 10 years ago. My dad who was 60 or so at the time was using a dating site and going on dates and seemed actually happy. In the end my parents reconciled, even though they still live 2 hours away from each other, only see each other once or twice a month, and fight whenever they're together. I honestly wish they had just divorced, because I think they would both be much much happier with other people.

You should want your dad to be happy and not lonely and miserable like mine are. On the other hand I don't know how I would feel if my dad was dating a much younger woman or my mom dating a much younger man. There's the stereotype that they're gonna be a gold digger and just use him and try to get his insurance money or be the sole person in his will, stuff like that and it's scary. Especially when the guy is a lot older, like 60+ and lonely for companionship.

Are you worried mostly because of the age difference, or because she seems like a not a nice person? If she really seems like she's not a nice person and is using him then tell him that. If it's mostly just the age difference that makes you feel uncomfortable, you should still tell him this, but know it's his life and he needs to do what makes him happy.

Tell him that him ditching you to spend time with her makes you feel sad, hurt, etc. He honestly might not know and think that because you are an adult you don't need him as much. You should try to get him into family counseling or talk with family and family friends and see if you can all talk to him how you feel and your worries.

This is so long but yeah.

I'm sorry about your parents. I think why I'm so upset is because the age difference, and I honestly think she's just using him. Sure, he's happy now. But what happens in a year or so when she's done using him and she's bored and breaks his heart? Of course I'll be there for him, and tell him I told you so. But then he goes down the same road again.

Thank you. My parents have the most unhealthy relationship ever lol. They're a mess.

Yea I know how you feel. You don't want him to get hurt or taken advantage of. Tell him how you feel. And give it time, watch how she acts and how she treats him. Maybe she really is a nice person who loves him. If she is then let him be happy with her, even if it feels gross or weird.

If her intentions are honest and true, I guess I could accept it, even if it's weird. It's just so hard to tell now a days ):

It might be harsh for the lady in question, but you're his daughter, and if you don't feel comfortable in this case he has to respect that. Especially because you know him for sure better than this lady knows him. So he have to end the contact with her.

Unfortunately for the 30-year-old lady as she has no further mischief, but a relationship in which the children can not accept the new partner is always doomed to failure, regardless of age differences.

Not a good match with the kids in a former marriage or relation? No relation! Basta!

I do have to nuance that a women from his own age could just as well have selfish intentions, and the women who are much younger than him have not always selfish intentions towards an older man.

I agree, completely. My dad's just saying he's having fun with her, and he's not taking it serious. But to me, I feel like he's falling for her, hard and fast. I understand he wants to have fun, and that's amazing, I want him too. I just know that no 30 year old is going to be dating someone twice their age unless there's something in it for them. I brought this up to him, and he said, "she just likes older men because they're more mature." that's so false, because I feel like men get immature as they get older, like a reverse effect, ha!

Maybe the lady is just fine and just a little imperfect because she is still so young. It's for her own good too start never ever a relation with him, how handsome your dad may be in her eyes too.

I think to have a relation with a boyfriend with the same age is already complicated and difficult enough. A relation with an older partner, with family members in an other life period as mine (kids who are older than me), different friends than I have who don't match enough with me and a whole different life history is not impossible, to keep the relation good, but it will be very complicated.

No, I'll chose for a less handsome boyfriend from my own age with a sweet persona.

If you dad really care about her he must be rational and brake the contact. It's also better for her for several reasons.

I dont think its the age that bothered me so much about that story, it was her using him and throwing your shit out and such.

personally I would tell her like it is. I never let my dads gfs do things like that, one tried overstepping boundaries and Id let her have it (verbally, promise not a fighter ;) ) and luckily my dad backed me up :*

Talk to your dad. Of course he deserves happiness, and probably wont listen to you now. But its worth him having a good talking to. And letting him know how she makes you feel. Id keep a close eye on her though.

Hopefully this "fling" will be over soon. And he finds himself a nice older woman who wants him for him c: But I can tell this young woman is not into him for other things besides money. I just have a hunch.

Hopefully for your dads sake we are all wrong xD

yeah i find it misguided when parents re-enter the dating scene with people almost their kids age...theres so much to say on this topic lol.

but if she is mistreating you i think your dad should know, its not her house.

the other night we got into a heated argument, about lip injections. honestly, i like some people with injections, they can look beautiful. but of course, there are those people who get botched and get their lips jacked up for life. personally, i kind of want them. reality is i'm terrified of needles and i highly doubt i would ever get them, but still. she comes into the living room (talking loudly and obnoxious as always) and says that everyone who gets them look stupid as time goes by. she believes she's right about everything. i went off of her saying i personally like them and i honestly didn't care about her opinion, because nobody even asked. i told my dad about it, and he just said shrug it off. next time she talks about something that's more dear to my heart, and opposes it, i swear to god i will not hold back.

I want to so bad, lol. i want to take her aside and let her know that her shiz stinks just like everyone else.

I think something you need to remember is that your father is a strong person. I know you think he's lonely, sad, vulnerable, and trusting, and he may be all those things, but he's also strong. He helped raise you with an alcoholic wife, held down the house, did things he never in his entire life dreamed he'd have to do and he did them. He's walked away from that relationship with his head held high. He's exceptionally strong. I'm fairly certain having spent his time dealing with an alcoholic, he's also not that naive. He's probably already asked some questions about the relationship. He probably just doesn't want to get that deep into with his child, as much as he loves you.

I'm having a hard time seeing this issue as solely with her and her age. I've seen this situation happen many times, shit I have a 55 year old friend who went through this recently and her father is like 80 years old and his new girlfriend only a couple years younger than him. Her concerns were almost identical.

I think your dad is going to be fine. I know that her age and his change of habits are gigantic red flags to you, but he needs to do those things. You know your father in one way. You've seen him in one way for all your life. Yet he is no longer that person completely anymore the moment his long term relationship ended. So he needs to find who he is, and it's probably going to look just as terrifying to you now, as you looked to him when you were a teenager.