I'm a member of the Dork Side Group on facebook. I met this guy I'm extremely attracted to. He has flirted several times with me and when I try to flirt back, I crash and burn. A mutual friend was talking to him and he told her he thinks I'm pretty and funny. She told me I need to step up my flirting game but I honestly have no idea how to. I've never talked to someone online before so I find myself at a loss for words. Plus, I'm also not used to really attractive guys hitting on me, either online or in person.

So for all those who have done internet dating or are good at flirting, do you have any advice? He seems like a really good guy and I would like to get to know him more. I want to message him but I have no idea what to say to break the ice.

You don't have to make a conscious effort to flirt. Just go ahead and talk to him about any mutual interests you have. Ask him what his favourite X is from Y series or something along those lines. He likes what he's seen of you so far, so you don't really have to act any differently than you have already in your shared spaces. Just act natural, be positive, and take this chance to get to know one another better!

Credentials: Met my girlfriend of six years online through mutual hobby, didn't bother to flirt. Just be yo'self.

Some more advice, even if this thread is pretty old at this point.

Flirting isn't about conscious efforts. Flirting through text is similar to flirting face-to-face. You play around with the tone of your words and keep things light and fun. Be a good experience, basically. For sites like Facebook, you can incorporate emoticons and things like that. Try to avoid too many winky faces. ;)

But how did it go with him? Are you guys still chatting?

I've gotten better at it. I've stopped trying too hard. Sort of. I've been sick the past week, so I haven't been on very much and I know he is really busy. Thanks for the advice.

Very good! Flirting through text is something you need to hone without actually trying to. Once it's there, it's easier to control the tone of your writing, I feel. But I wish you the best of luck and hope that you get better soon! Don't let him slip away if you like him, haha!

Thank you. I appreciate it. I need to talk to him some more soon. I'd really like to get to know him more.

Maybe one day you'll be posting here asking for dating advice to deal with your new boyfriend. eyebrow wiggle

Sorry, lmao. I'm joking, I'm joking! Good luck!

I hope so lol. The problem is I would like to message him but 1. I don't know what to say and 2. I feel like I'm bothering him. But I'll figure something out the next time he posts something.

I know what you mean when you say that you feel like you're bothering him, but here's some advice: You aren't.

A large part of my social circle is online and my friends and I primarily speak through text. There's something nerve-wracking about popping up in their notifications. You don't won't to seem like a bother. You worry that they'll roll their eyes and go "not now", but that's not going to happen. They're more like to get a notification, feel popular, and smile. They're more likely to see that it's you and get excited, because you haven't sent them a message in 17 minutes and, God, they missed you.

Your self-consciousness of sending messages will always be there, but until you pretend it's not, then conversations can and will die between you and other people. You're waiting for them to message first, but they're waiting for you to message first, all because neither of you want to bother the other person.

And, hey, what's the worst that's going to happen if you do bother him? He replies with a "I'm busy, sorry" and so you wait a couple of days until he's not busy. Perhaps he is busy and doesn't see your message for a while, or he sees it and decides to reply later; you feel ignored, but he'll reply eventually, or message you first eventually. If that happens, you mention your previous message and he explains that he forget to reply or that he didn't get a notification.

This turned into a rambling mess and is way longer than I intended it to be. My point is that nothing is born from lack of proactivity.

Also, in regards to what to send him, you could ask him whether he's seen a show you like, or you could send him a funny video. You could send him a funny image or a joke that reminded you of him. You could even pose a hypothetical question, like what would he do if zombies suddenly existed? A deep question, like does he think aliens exist? What happens after we die? Or something lighter and simpler, like my personal favourite, which is do you like spicy food?

That's really good advice. Thanks. The whole thing is really weird to me because I haven't done this before. I mean, I've had boyfriends but I met them in person. And you're right, what's the worst that could happen?

I think he is really busy or he doesn't check his messages or maybe both. But I will keep trying. Thanks again

I'm glad that I could help! My life basically consists of flirting online, so if I could impart some knowledge onto somebody else, then that's a bonus. Just remember to stay confident, light, fun, and motivated. You'll get there, friend!

I sure hope so. It's been lonely and I need a change of pace