I've recently been coming to terms with the very strong possibility that I may be FtM trans. Wow, that felt really weird to type out. Let me explain...

I've always been more of an "observer" on these issues. I didn't put too much thought into them. But I've been trying to be more honest with myself lately, so I stopped and actually questioned why I always identified so much more strongly with boys than girls, why my body has always felt awkward to me, etc. I'm really, really new to this. It's scary, but at the same time I've never felt more... right. And I guess that's kind of scary in its own way, too. I would get into it more but I honestly get really emotional and afkdsl

Basically... I know I'm not alone on here. I wanted to post about this somewhere with a community I know is generally very kind and respectful, but that is also removed from my inner circle of friends and people who know me intimately. If you feel like sharing your experiences as a FtM trans person -- the moment you knew, insecurities you deal with, self-doubt etc. -- then I would be very happy to hear them.

Thanks, Haru

i found out i was trans when i was about 13 years old! my friend brought it up to me very nervously that he was trans, and i was like whoa! that's a thing?? that explains so much! since then i've just been working to get out. i wasn't scared of coming out of the closet, since i'd previously come out as pansexual and had nothing negative come from it. (family wasn't so positive about it)

i have people tell me "oh, but i've known you as (birthname) for so long! is it okay if i call you that?" like it's no big deal. it's more irritating than anything, and i'm certainly still fighting to get recognition as my selected name and gender. it's something i'd never regret doing though!! before finding out, also, i was just a very invested "ally".

I've spent a good chunk of my life dealing with some confusion of my own regarding my own gender. I've almost never felt fully comfortable as a female, but at the same time, I often have felt generally okay with being born a female. At least I think that's what's went on in my brain the last couple of years when I really started to be really honest with myself. I came out as asexual, which was one of the handful of factors that caused my boyfriend at the time and I to break up, and I had thought a lot about how I have been when I was growing up, to the point where I am in my adulthood. Along the way I admitted to myself that I may be happier with identifying as male.

At any rate, what I'm trying to confusedly ramble to is that while I haven't come out at any sort of transgendered, and am instead trying to figure myself out, I can understand and respect the journey those who have made a decision with themselves that I have yet to undertake, if I will at all. For what it's worth, I'm also interested in hearing more about others' experiences with transitioning or how they realized they were trans, etc. It's way more helpful than people realize to people like me to hear the stories of others.

Anyways, best of luck to both of you in your endeavors to transition. Be proud of yourselves for taking the step towards being happier with yourselves!

Don't say ftm trans, that's weird grammatically and you might earn someone's ire if they think you're trying to micro-aggress. It's either trans man or just ftm.

Self-doubt happens. It's coming. Get used to talking yourself through them. People who have been doing HRT for years still get self-doubt. If I had a guess I'd say it was because of how transphobic cis people tend to be, but it doesn't really matter. Point being, self doubt is always gonna be a thing, and the better prepared you are for it, the easier it'll be to handle.

People are gonna be transphobic in new and inventive ways. You're consistently going to be shocked that transphobia came at you at that angle. Same with the self-doubt - the better prepared you are, the easier it'll be.

Also, no one has any idea what a trans man is. No one can wrap their minds around the concept. They can't even make the logic leap that it's related to trans women in some manner. My sister-in-law loudly asked me "What's trans?" in the middle of a crowded restaurant. She thought I was telling her that I joined a gang, no joke. Yes, she knew what a trans woman was.

The scary feelings go away and you get more used to it as time goes on. When people call me "miss" I give them a weird look, because I forget that people still think I'm a girl (haven't started hrt). It goes up from there, too. It's much nicer living normally instead of hiding, even with everyone being jerks to you about it.