I got in so much shit last week at work from an incident that happened about week and a half ago (i can't recall which day). I worked with a transgendered person (girl going to boy). I'm still upset about this. I was just joking around with him on my last shift that we worked together and I touched his ass with the mannequin arm. I thought it was funny... it was just a joke.

It turns out he put a sexual harassment claim in to my manager. Apparently talking about rape and touching someone with a mannequin hand is sexual harassment. The next step is termination. I was trying to tell my manager, why is it ok that other employees can talk about sex, drinking and wanting to loose their virginity but she didn't want to hear it from me. She said "It's not about them. This is about you and we have problems with you. [said person] likes his space and when you're the only person laughing it's not funny. He's very uncomfortable working with you. I will not tolerate this behavior in my store. If you say anything or do anything, you're terminated".

She made me sign the papers. We don't have cameras to prove that I did these actions. I was so mad, I just wanted to walk out. I'm dreading the fact I have to work there this Friday.

Before I was hired, I flat out told them that I have a disability and that I don't always understand what is appropriate and what is not. Obviously my manager doesn't care.

Should I call the labour board? My Great Uncle said I should.

I need advice. What do you guys think?

Friendly pings.

Well, you're not going to like this. Yes those actions do amount to sexual harassment. It was not appropriate, and you have been notified of that. You said your manager doesn't care about your disability. I doubt it's a matter of your manager not caring, and more a matter of maintaining the standards of the establishment in regards to worker behavior for everyone.

Please correct me if I'm wrong, but from what you said your disability revolves around being unable to recognize what is appropriate or not. It does not change the fact that now that you know it was inappropriate, you can change your actions in response. Now you know, now you can change. And yes in a work environment you DO need to change.

I really really suggest against taking this to the labor board. Plus, which papers did you sign?

Wow that sounds like a frustrating experience.

Do you have proof of your disability? Tests or records? Maybe even a note from a doctor? Any proof that you told them or that they would know? That could help to have on hand.

Can you explain a bit more on this part:

"I will not tolerate this behavior in my store. If you say anything or do anything, you're terminated".

My manager means that if I say anything else that is inappropriate, I'm out of there.

Yes, I have a big thick booklet about my disability and I don't feel like sharing person information with a company that is about to fire me anyway.

What I don't understand is that why he didn't talk to me about my behaviour instead of taking it straight to the manager. Plus, he was leaving anyway, so why bother to care?

You messed up, acknowledge it, then begin to move forward. I don't know what your disability is and can only guess. But if you haven't already been doing this, learning what is appropriate or not with a counselor, therapist or a support group that works with people with certain disabilities could help you prevent making these kind of mistakes.

It will feel uncomfortable for you at work for awhile, but that feeling will pass especially since the coworker in question is leaving.

The answers you're looking for are only know to your coworker, so all you'll get is speculation. I don't know if guesses would be really helpful.

Ah now that? Damned if I know. People react to things differently? o-o

That's actually a good idea. I never thought of that, but I don't have money to go to a counselor.

Also, I forgot to answer one of your questions. She made me sign the incident report papers.

My dad said he should've come to me instead of taking it straight to management. If it happened again, then go to management.

I guess that's what you get when you work with people 18-22.

I edit my post above with more stuff you haven't seen it.

I personally go to a state run therapist for free because I can't afford a regular one. I don't know if there is any sort of place like that where you live. A lot of support groups are free since they're run by volunteers.

A low-low cost option is to seek out information at your library, YouTube, or maybe an internet forum with other people going through the same disability. Just food for thought.

Coming to you was an option, but he was under no obligation to do so. There are many possibilities for the elusive reason why, but if someone feels like they are being victimized? They handle it how they see fit. Likely in the way they feel is least likely to end in pain/distress of some kind.

As it stands right now, you seem to be blaming the boy you sexually harassed for getting you in trouble. O-O Is that really something you want to do? Being upset, shamed, angry and all that is ok. It really is. Maybe just turn that upset into changing your behavior rather than trying to say they should have changed theirs.

A disability is not an excuse. You cannot joke the same way with a colleague than you may do with a friend of yours. I would never touch anyone, even my own friends without their permission. I don't think blaming him will do you any good at all. You were the one that did something that shouldn't have been done in the first place. Blaming it on your disability is not the best way to look forward. I have myself a disability and I stopped using it as an excuse because I felt like it was the wrong thing to do. I believe that it's okay for you to be angry and upset, but this person is not entitled to you at all. You may need to sit and think about the consequences of your act. Would you appreciate to get the same thing from a colleague? What would you do next time? The age as nothing to do with it. Touching someone else without their permission is wrong, even if it's meant as a joke and no matter how old you are.

Sorry for the delay. I agree with what everyone else has said. There's a big difference between work and hanging out with your friends. The best advice I can tell you is to place yourself in their shoes and ask yourself if you would have wanted to same treatment. You made a mistake and it happens. If you're able to keep your job, do your best to avoid the guy and keep conversations to him to a minimum. Work related only. Short and sweet, almost aloof. If anyone asks what's wrong, tell them you don't want to talk about it and move on.

As for everyone else, think about to grade school. Remember when kids were getting away with throwing stuff and hitting and all that and the one time you did it, you got punished? It's the same concept. I recommend keeping everything professional. Work related. These people are co workers and you should only talk to them about work. They don't need to know anything about your private life. It's hard to separate yourself but in this world, everyone is out for themselves and will take you down for a chocolate bar.

As for the labor board, that's up to you. The state I live in is a right to work state, which means a person can get fired for just about anything and trying to prove they fired you for a disability is next to impossible. If you want to talk to the labor board, go for it.

I would also suggest you start looking for a new job if you aren't already. This place seems toxic and it would be better to get out of there. Take this as a learning experience and remind yourself there's a difference between work and social life.

Sexual harassment is sexual harassment. Whether you thought it was a joke doesn't matter, it's how the other person interpreted it that matters. If one of my coworkers touched my butt or my boobs even jokingly I would probably feel the same way your coworker did and file a complaint. If I were you I would apologize to him and move on.

He was quitting. They got him a good-bye card and he has been there since the summer. IMHO, you only get a going away card for someone who's been with the company for 2+ years. My grandpa passed away last week and they never gave me their condolences nor did I get bereavement leave.

Ah ok. Well just take it as a lesson and move forward. Everyone makes mistakes. c:

Sorry about your grandpa, my grandma passed away last year. It sucks.

You HAVE to be professional at work. That means absolutely no touching at work and watch what you say to co-workers. Even putting a hand on someone's shoulder can be construed as sexual harassment now days. Take everyone's advice here, learn your lesson and move on. Sorry if this sounds harsh, it's not meant to be, just a life lesson.

I am sorry about your grandpa