I messed up in my last thread, ah.

Anyway, I tend to tell my mom a lot of things that goes on with me. When I was in high school, I told her I was in an online relationship and she made me break all contact with the girl I was with. I tried to keep said girl as a friend but my mom hated that.

Recently I told her that I was with another female, and was forced to breakup with her as well, but this time I've been keeping it a secret since then. Now she managed to catch a message from my gf and has been bugging me about it since.

Right now, she told me something that, in my opinion, was unnecessary to feel the way she does but I kept quiet and agreed with whatever. She said that the last time I told her I was dating a female, she felt like she failed and wanted to take her life. Now she told me that and to "keep it in mind."

I'm just tired of her being this way with who I decide to be with and then these little things she adds on top of it. It's like she's trying to make me feel bad about everything and I dunno what to do anymore.

That's super skeevy and (I would say) abusive of her. It definitely sounds like she's trying to make you feel bad about dating girls. This is definitely not ok and I'd talk to a school councilor/teacher/other adult that you trust about it (and maybe try to find somewhere else to live? This sort of toxic interaction can definitely start affecting the rest of your life.)

Wow. This is a very toxic relationship. It sounds like my mother as well. And sadly, I still live with my parents. It's difficult to keep things from them because it stresses you out and just puts you in a bad situation.

My mother is very conservative and said the same things along the line you did. (If you were gay I would hang myself... etc..etc.) It's sad because I can't be myself around my parents. I have can't have my own opinions (even though I do) or I'm considered 'brain-washed'. Lol. There is really not much you can do about it until you can move out. You can't change them, you can't talk with them because there is no reasoning, you can't do anything really... sigh. They still like to think they control and own you. But they don't. They can't make decisions or plan out your life for you.

PLEASE know your opinions, feelings, decisions, choices, beliefs are all validated. She has no right to say these things to you. You are your OWN person. She is using these as threats, and probably will not go through with them. A parent should love their child no matter what is going on in their life. They should be supportive and maintain a healthy relationship with their child where they can talk and discuss things.

Here's an article I recently read and it fits my mothers description to a T! I hope you enjoy the read and can figure out the problem is NOT you. It was NEVER you. It's her. There is so much more I could write and say because this is my life as well. But I can't think of anything else to say.

http://www.bustle.com/articles/123975-6-signs-you-have-a-toxic-mother

If you want to talk or vent or have someone to listen that understands what you're going through, send me a sMail! I would love to chat. ❤️

Honestly she's the only adult I've trusted about these things but yeah I might have to start talking to a therapist about this. If I get the guts to ha. I've also tried looking into moving out but I don't get paid enough to really get a nice place on my own.

But yeah I had a feeling that it's getting toxic..

Yeah I understand that feeling. :/ I can't move away either since I don't get paid enough for it and the one place I really do want to move to is in another state so. That's expensive. Dx

Oh jeez yeah. My mom used to say that I'm getting brainwashed by my online friends that are in same-sex relationships. Probably still thinks that but hasn't said anything about that. Sad thing is, I'm already 22 and I'm sadly stuck here. It's really frustrating emotionally and everything.

I'll take a look at the article and I'll probably send you a sMail later. Thank you ;3;

Trying to manipulate someone by threatening self-harm is definitely abusive. Especially something that you have no control over (ie, your sexuality, who you're attracted to) and would only hurt yourself by suppressing for her sake. The fact she's also nosing into your private messages is equally nasty.

It's a hard situation to be in since you're living with her and don't have any easy options to getting out, so do your best to lock down your interactions with any girlfriend you may have in the future. (Or boyfriend, even.) Password protect your computer and phone, make sure you're always logged out when you're not going to be using either, don't keep physical records of your messages where she can find them.

Make sure you have a place where you can get safely away from her, even just little trips to the library or a restaurant or a park, just to get some space from someone who's actively trying to tear you down and is clearly being abusive towards you. Look into options of eventually moving away, even if it's a ways down the road. See if any friends need or want roomies and would be able to take you in, things like that.

And definitely talk to a therapist about this if you have access to one! This is something that should be brought up to them because how your parents treat you informs a lot of your mental health. And a therapist might have even more concrete ideas and advice as to how to deal with this.

Good luck.

Thank you, I'll keep all that in mind and I'm trying to keep everything on the lowdown and so far it's doing okay. But yeah I'll see if I can get to a therapist ;3; Thanks again.

I know this is old and you probably don't want to see it again, I just wanted to let you know that your mom has no intention of killing herself.

She wants to guilt you into being straight, but she doesn't have a valid reason for your sexuality to be harmful to her, so she's making up reasons and pretending that it's all just so very upsetting when it's not. The real issue is that she feels like she's lost control of you and can't handle that like an adult.