I've had general anxiety disorder for who knows how long. But, over the last few months, it's gotten worse. Right now, I'm at the point where I can barely do anything around people. Grocery shopping is nearly impossible alone. Finding a job is difficult, because I can't handle people. Driving is exhausting. Even on Subeta, I don't chat as much as I used to.

I'm in therapy, but of course progress is slow. I can't get a pet to help me because of my current living situation. I also live in a major, crowded city that continues to grow. I feel so useless, because I can't be independent. This fuels my depression, which makes me not want to do anything productive.

I'm stuck in a vicious cycle with no clear way out. ;~;

I do not have an anxiety disorder, but I do have an anxious personality and have my entire life. My boyfriend's family has a long history of anxiety disorders, and he takes medications for his panic attacks. That said, I'm by no means an expert, but...

Good on you for going for therapy! That is a big step right there. Have you considered medications? I know there are a lot out there and they all cost ridiculous amounts of money, but therapy in addition to meds in addition to self-help works wonders. I have a friend who is working on controlling her anxiety with only light herbal meds and self help, and my boyfriend takes one pill a day and he is completely himself (not a zombie, different personality, etc.) and doesn't get panic attacks when he takes it.

I know that progress may seem slow now, but have you looked back to before you started therapy? I can bet you've made a lot of progress since then! That and getting up every day and TRYING is a victory in itself. Don't ever give up. That drive will help you every day :)

- I was on meds before, but they stopped working. A few months ago, I had a massive panic attack that made me lose my speech for a few days. I was also getting migraines constantly. So now, I'm on different meds to help with the migraines and anxiety. But, the person who prescribed them was a neurologist. So, I'm looking to get a new psychiatrist to get a reevaluation and see what meds I should take for my anxiety.

Geeze, those were definitely not the meds for you, then! That is rough but I wouldn't give up on them yet. A reevaluation sounds like a good idea.

- I've got an appointment with a new psychiatrist on Friday. :)

That's wonderful! I am happy for you! Things will look up soon enough. The fact that you're taking steps to gain control are good signs. You can conquer anything you put your mind to.

I have an anxiety disorder (as well as a major depressive disorder, PTSD, and severe migraines, I'm a mess) so I completely get what you're dealing with. My doctor talked to me about psychological disorders like your brain is soup and medications, therapists, meditating, relaxing, etc. are all ingredients to the soup. Sometimes you have to add a little more therapy to make the soup good. Other times, you might have to take some of the medications away and add meditation.

I have found this to be a really great analogy that has helped me with working out the best way to manage my anxiety. I have found that medication can help me BUT I do best if I am in therapy regularly (once a week or once every other week), doing one relaxing thing a day (like watch a show, color, go for a walk), and then when I'm having a panic attack or just doing bad to take medicine, talk to a friend, and take deep breaths (inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth like you're blowing through a straw).

What you need to do is find out what mix of things makes your "brain soup" good, which can be tricky, but very do-able.

- Things went really well today, but I was actually seeing a therapist, not a psychiatrist. Oops. XD It's actually good though, because I'm not going to be able to see my current therapist in a few months due to my age (where I'm going is a youth center that has age limitations), so it's good that I'm starting to transfer. And, in the meantime, I get to see 2 therapists with different focuses.

- Mmmmm, brain soup. @-@

But anyways, that is a really good analogy! I need to work on taking deep breaths and calming down during panic attacks.

I haven't bothered to get diagnosed or anything, but I'm like 95% certain I have an anxiety disorder. Nothing serious, or severe, but I'm also sure it's related to my ADHD (which would explain why I developed anxiety in the first place...)

Anywho good for you for seeking out different help, and getting yourself feeling more right! I hope everything starts getting a bit easier for you, because having anxiety (especially if it leads to panic attacks) is definitely not fun.

I'm so glad to hear that things went well! And you're right, making the transition now will make it easier on you, and also having those few months to have two therapists will help you more. I hope you're able to get your medication reevaluation soon, that will help tremendously.

If you haven't yet, bring up 'agoraphobia' with your therapists and see what they think. What you're going through sounds familiar, is all.

I wish I could be much of help, but I'm in similar if not worse shoes while trying to figure out what to do with my life at this point because of so many psychological issues I've piled on. The fact that you are reaching out even if it's online is a step towards admitting the problem and wanting to change it. Kudos to that.

Are you in school and/or obtained a job? I've noticed that getting out more even if it's nothing important may help for one to re-adjust to being outside. Being around people and why we tend to avoid is a different story.

- I was diagnosed with Agoraphobia years ago, although it was diagnosed in the wrong context: a fear of being in large, open spaces. Looking it up again, it is consistent with what I have. Thank you for reminding me, and I'm definitely bringing it up to the therapist.

- I'm done with school and I've been having a very difficult time with finding a job. I don't apply online anymore, since I've wasted too many hours on my life with that just to get rejected every single time. I have developed a fear of online applications. And, it's difficult to find a place that has a paper application and you go in person to hand it in. I do, however, somehow have an interview tomorrow because of one of the paper applications I turned in.

I go outside to take my fiance to work (he doesn't have a license), but I consistently have panic attacks because of the horrendous traffic. I am okay if we go walking somewhere, so at least that's something.

Oh congrats on your interview! That's exciting! I understand your anxiety towards online applications - when I first moved away after college and was desperate for a job I filled out GOD KNOWS how many online applications and it turned me off even being on a computer. The pressure and anxiety took a long time to go away and I still cringe at the sight of the words "apply online."

As for your living situation, I know this sounds outlandish and not practical, but are you able to get out of the city? That seems like your biggest issue - having to deal with the traffic and people and bustle. How long have you lived in the city? Is it super urban (like New York City) or more of a "biggest city nearby here" (more like how Syracuse, NY is). Even if you are able to relocate to the suburbs outside of the city that may be a huge help. Don't isolate yourself, but if your living environment is what is causing all of your problems then it may be in your best interest to remove yourself from those situations that cause you so much grief.

I would defiently go to a doctor asap. Anxiety sucks. I used to be that person that cried everyday. Just out of nowhere too. A mixture of sleeping meds (tradozone) and anxiety medication (prozac) have helped me immensely. It takes about a month to make a difference, so you might be discouraged but you have to give it time for your body to adjust. Hope everything works out for you.

Going to therapy is a HUGE step in the right direction. That takes a lot of guts and nerve to go see one. I believe that right there is beginning to break the cycle. Try to see the things you do as achievements. Esp dealing with the anxiety disorder and having to set up appointments with a therapist can be nerve-wracking.

Do you have a close friend/friend member in the area that could come over/talk with you and comfort you? You know, you are never in these things alone. It's always good to have someone who can keep an eye on you and check to see how things are. While you can vent and confide in them if things get tough.

You are already doing a great job already. You are very strong. You can do this! ❤️

- "Apply online" are some of the worst words ever. ;~;

I wish I could move away, but I live in Orlando, FL, which the general size of it and its crowded suburbs is at least a 1 hour drive in any direction from downtown Orlando. Even then, Central Florida and Florida in general is getting more crowded, even in the outskirts due to constant development. I seriously live in the worst possible state for my conditions.

But yes, I believe moving into a small town would be the best way to treat my condition.

- I'm seeing two therapists at the moment and am taking some meds. I'm a bit better than before, but I have a long ways to go.

- I have my fiance and a close friend. Also, the people of Subeta are very helpful to me. I'm very thankful for everyone's support. <3

A start is always a good thing :D Feel better soon, take it easy.

- Thank you! ^^

No problem! Love your new HA. :D