Is there a reason why people have to randomly start harassing someone? I've had stuff thrown at me (such as sunflower seeds and hopefully water) etc. Called homophobic slurs more than I can count and other bullshit.. I have lived in different places and everywhere it's pretty much the same.
Today someone wouldn't stop bothering me, I told him to leave me alone and he followed me. I had to evade him through walmart and walk around the long way to the store I was going to and come back an even longer way to make sure I didn't encounter him again.
Things like this have happened all my life and I'm 25. How does one endure 50+ more years of this shit?
if you're getting harassed at a store, go to customer service and tell them what is happening. if the asshole has done it before, it'll help the store bring a case against the person with a stay off the property thingy, and at the very least he can be asked to leave or have security or police escort him off the property and escort you to your car.
I'm sorry this is happening to you. I was bullied all the way through to the end of high school. When I was in elementary (or, middle school as you guys call it), I was horked on, I got punched in the face, called names all the time mainly because I was in a special needs class and also because I was fat.
In high school, people still called me names and threw things at me.
I did have an encounter a few years back ago with someone from my high school at the movie theater. They were throwing popcorn at me and my mom and she turned around and told them she'd get them ushered out if they didn't stop. They did stop.
But, moral of the story: people are assholes. If they don't like something about themselves, they dish it out on other people.
I'm there. 29 this may and it still continues. My dog has even protected me. My advice is to ignore them and carry a weapon- pepper spray is great. Its small and easy to use. Stun guns come with pins for your safety. Also you need to know when to call the police. If that happened to me in the store, Id dial them right in front of him. But my best advice would be to get evidence.. Record things happening. These toxic people like to make up stories abut what happened to get you arrested instead. Recording clears up the he said she said.
Dont back down. Dont let it continue. You have to push back with everything you have and show them you are not a fun easy little target for them to play with. But at the same time, you cant let them effect your moods. You cant be intimidated and you cant get angry or scared or upset.
If you find yourself interacting with them or them controlling your emotions, just stop and take a breathe. Close them out of your mind. You cant even begin to control them until you can control yourself.
If someone is following you, turn around and say "what the hell do you want?'" That whole spiel about ignoring them and they will go away really only works 50% of the time. If someone is harassing you and will not stop, give them a taste of their own medicine. Bullies normally can't handle being bullied back. They pick on people they think are weak and won't stand up for themselves.
Unfortunately, it's just inevitable that there will always be a bitter soul somewhere that needs to unleash their misery on someone else. I feel there's no one answer to the whole whether you should ignore them or stand up for yourself. Some people harass out of attention and will feel like an idiot if you don't give them the time of day. Some people will assume you're being passive and will keep on pressing. I usually opt for the former because I can't be bothered to care about every person that crosses me, unless I know that I'm going to be stuck with said person for awhile and they're not going to stop.
More importantly, keep in mind that it's an issue with them and not with you. You could try to blend in to a T and someone would still be able to single something out about you just because. At the end of the day, they've only accomplished becoming the "crazy encounter" in someone else's story.I've suffered through a lot of harassment and bullying and the only thing I can really tell you that those kind of memories will eventually fade and feel like nothing, while you should hold on to the good ones. It'll pay off. :)
But on another note: I really hate it when people say that bullies 'have a problem with themself' just to justify it. That's barely ever the case. Some people just are assholes and there's no talking to them. But they don't matter to who you are and what your life is.
pepper spray is good to carry but make sure you check the laws in your area to see where you can actually carry it (i had it on my belt loop when i was at the dmv where its apparently not allowed, lol)
it helps you feel safer, knowing that if you do need it you have it.
I know this is old, but some of these responses are scaring me.
Don't EVER antagonize someone that's stalking you for a bigoted reason. Ever. They have already graduated past the "stranger danger" stage and are confronting you with the intention of having you confront them back.
If you try to pick a fight with them, they will happily accept that challenge, and they're either confident in their fighting skills or armed (which is why they're so eager to approach you in the first place).
What you SHOULD do is find a crowded area and get in the middle of the crowd. See if you can get some sort of employee or security guard to help you, or call the police/a friend/family member to come get you.
If you want to record their actions for your safety, don't use your phone. Buy a small, hide-able camera that you can turn on in a subtle way. Since they're already in an aggressive mood and just looking for a fight, any little thing you do can be taken as an invitation. Don't give them that invitation.
We all want to be tough, but you need to stay safe.
This really breaks my heart.
I have 3 children and I dont even know what the fuck I would do if some asshole was doing this to them. I think I would seriously lose my shit on him.
I know this is really old, but I second autocracy's post. Don't confront someone who's harassing you unless you have backup and never do it in a private place! Maybe they'd run away, but maybe they'd take the chance to physically attack you- do you want to take that chance? The sad truth is that people who have no problem harassing someone generally don't have a problem hurting them either. Safety is more important than badassery.