So let me start by saying: I've been out since December of '15 to my parents. I've had amazing support from my biological father. He's started calling me by my preferred name and even called me a young man the other day. He of course still slips up, but that's fine. He told me it'd take him a while. I'm pretty floored by my father's support. My dad lives in border-line poverty and supported to social and the VA. If I must move in with him I will, but it would be a strain on him. I am currently out a job - and when I do get another job it threatens his VA benefits. Sister has also been a support but she's known for five years going on six. She's promised the same.

Unfortunately my mother and step-dad are another matter. They help me with "adulting", all my finances, medical, you name it. They do not support me. I think my step-dad will come around, but he keeps telling me how much of a mistake I might be making and generally making me doubt myself. My mom is just flat 'no' and has started emphasizing female stuff, I'm not a guy because I'm short, I need to grow up, mom knows best - the standard spiel. She did say she wouldn't kick me out. I don't know if my mom will come around. I hope she does because it's tearing me up inside. I love my mom and step-dad.

Now I am going to college. I've had to transfer to where I am now because my previous college, while full of lovely people, was shit. The college I am going to now is amazing and full of lovely people. I am living in a dorm during my semesters here. I came out to my advisor after a mental breakdown (I had been trying to make living as a woman work for my mom for about ~3 years) last semester. It was a whim, but it turned out he has a daughter whom is trans - MTF. This is a small southern conservative county. I'm probably one of two or three trans people here, and the only trans person on my campus par his daughter whom is in hs.

My advisor has been my biggest support. He doesn't think I should wait until the fall, because I am waiting so I can work one last summer "as a female" and to let my step-dad have some time, and my mom too but she's probably assumed I've dropped it. But in the fall when the fall semester starts up I plan to begin transitioning, maybe a week before I start back up. I'm pretty poor but T is cheap (I believe, I've yet to contact the doctor about pricing but my gist is it's doable) and I can slowly save for top surgery. I hate my boobs more than anything else, but my binder makes me feel a bit better, though I've been cursed with DDs. My mom's insurance covers the clinical visit since it's medical.

Here on campus there is free therapy. A 30 minute session every week is offered to students whom need it. Affording a therapist was my biggest concern, so imagine my glee when I found this out. The therapist whom does work for the college is the best in the cross county area. I came out to her today, and she overwhelmingly supports me. She helped me check my insurance, called the doctors office for me, and told me she'd help me through it and help me with "adulting" if my mom or step-dad cut me off.

I also came out to a lot of the students in my field of major today, and many of them support me or just don't care either way. There is also an lgbt club here I've been invited to join.

The doctor I am seeing does not require therapy before treatment, which was my biggest fear and obstacle and another reason I stayed closeted for so long. I'm almost 22, I'm sick of my body and what I see in the mirror.

With all the resources I've been offered by people around me at college and the support from my dad whom is the Shia LaBeouf motivation meme incarnate. My advisor, therapist, and dad have all told me to "do it" and stop going nuts over what my mom and step-dad think. I'm kinda there, but I will have to tell my mom when I start transitioning. She is my mom.

OK I SWEAR I'M GETTING TO THE POINT RIGHT ABOUT NOW.

I'm poor. Dorming is expensive. I will probably be able to come back in the fall, but I'm unsure about spring 2017. Or I might not be able to come back until Spring 2017. I am currently paying community college rates but will soon have to pay private rates. I want to transition while coming to this college. I feel welcome and safe. I'm going by my male name and pronouns here for the most part and using the mens restroom almost exclusively now. I feel gr8ish. Just waiting for another guy to say something. I wouldn't blame them if they're uncomfortable, they'd see a female, I've a fairly feminine body. Same reason I fucking hate the womens restrooms and showers. But hey.

And the semesters I can't afford to be here -- I won't have a therapist. I will also be living largely with my mom. And I am scared. I will try to spend more time at my dad's, but I've still gotta be at my moms due to financial. My mom said she wouldn't kick me out, but I'm very scared. Transitioning is mentally and physically hard as it is, I don't know if I could handle her berating me. I'm majorly depressed, I had to be squeezed in for therapy today because I've been suicidal. They wanted me to go to a crisis center for a couple days but I'm fearful of my mom and step-dad finding out. Any time I tell them I'm depressed of suicidal I get "grow up" and my fave "maybe you shouldn't transition because your being irrational" from my step-dad.

So the semesters I might be out I won't have a therapist.

Does anyone have any coping advice at all for this at all? I WILL bring this up to the therapist next week, but I'm looking for some advice in general. My step-dad thinks I'm rushing everything and making a mistake, but I've waited and wanted this my entire life and I know the time is right to get the ball rolling. If I don't do it withing the year and be persistent about doing it, I don't think it will happen and I don't think I could hold off till 2017 if I had to skip fall semester.

And when it comes time this summer for me to start transitioning, does anyone have any advice on how to tell my mom? I want her to stop wasting her hard earned money on female clothing for me every Christmas. She's a waitress. She worries about money and fights me on how I'm going to afford this. I just don't know how to say "T is cheap as my current meds and the visits are covered by insurance" to her. I'm concerned about cost, but the doctor I'm seeing is really into billing insurance, I am worried about expenses, specially for routine stuff, but I feel like I'm pretty much at the end of my rope life-wise, I don't know how long I can keep up ""being a woman"". And if my mom cuts me off of her insurance for this, the therapist offered to help me sign up for Medicaid.

Just general advice OTL. I'm just worried in general, mom, being without therapy support, finances for this and college.

But I just don't think I can stay like I am. No matter what I do or say my step-dad and mom don't get it. It's either I transition, or I off myself. That's where I am in life at this point. But I can't get it through to them without them turning it against me. Idk. I'll address this with the therapist next week but I just need some kind of advice. She already knows I'm at this point, I have crisis number for the area, have her number, I'm OK right now.

Please ping me. C:

Having non-supportive parents is the worst, I'm sorry.

First of all, depression and suicidal ideation are really tough. I've been there, sometimes I'm still there. If you need help, www.translifeline.org is run by and for trans people who need help/are having a crisis. Please please please give them a call if you need to: US: (877) 565-8860 Canada: (877) 330-6366

Second of all, check out whether or not therapy is covered by your insurance policy--some do, some don't. If it is, try doing some research on therapists in your area and see if there's any you could go to when you're not at school. Do you have any supportive friends near your mom's house who you could live with for a while? It might be better to live there rather than with non-supportive people.

In terms of discussing your transition with your mom and step-dad, my advice (admittedly as a rather confrontational person) would just be to go up to them and say "This is happening, you can't stop me." You sound like you've got the financial stuff and other practical details pretty much covered, which is a very strong argument to back that up. Basically, tell them that you're an adult who knows what he wants, and you've been planning this for a while. (If you have to you can even go the "none of this stuff is irreversible" route.)

(Oh, and about the men's bathrooms--don't forget that you belong in there just as much as anyone else. You're a man, too!) If you end up needing somewhere to stay over the summer/anytime, shoot me a message and you're welcome to stay with me if you're nearby :) Take care of yourself, friend.

Thank you.

I had thought my mom would have forgotten by now or pushed it away, but no, she's only gotten more angry and stressed along with my step-dad who's decided to side with whatever mom decides. I will now be more than likely spending summer with my father. My step-dad advised me to, so whatever is going on with my mom now is not something I want to deal with. I thank you for offering to put me up. It means a lot.

Unfortunately I've isolated myself. It's hard to get close to anyone because I feel like my body and voice lies and to them and I'm afraid of losing people over it. I've no friends outside acquaintances/allies here on campus. I don't think my advisor would let me be homeless over this. My therapist told me she wouldn't let me be homeless over it.

I'm a timid person, my mom is loud and strong-willed. I might do that, but with a softer tone. As dickish as it sounds I might do it over the phone. I know I'll start bawling the moment I tell my mom I love her. I'm just worried about her. I was always there for her and to look out for her.

I think I've decided to go see the doctor this current semester. I don't know if they require an X amount of time as a patient before getting hrt or not. I think I'm putting it off because I put everything off. I find an excuse for everything. Afraid of everything.

Yeah, I get that. But I wouldn't blame them if they gave me a "what the hell are you doing" look. :P

Thank you again, Armor. C: