Okay so all these celebrities are dying, and um. Should I care? I mean I don't right now. I feel sorry for their families/close ones, but....I don't see why other people care? I just don't understand, and I would like to so I can react appropriately.

Like people are going oh my soul is crushed, I'm so depressed/upset and all I can think is that people must live pretty sheltered lives?

So yes, I would ideally like to understand if someone could explain please.

It's okay to not feel anything regarding the matter? I don't get why you want to "react appropriately", especially because you don't feel targeted about it. It feels rather offensive to me to force yourself? Just let people mourn how they want c: . You can't tell someone "you must live a sheltered"/delusional life just because they are sad/upset/are mourning someone, even if it's "just" an actor, writer etc.

It's not so much how I feel as um. When people say it to me, how do I respond? D: I don't want to say stuff like that because I understand that's not acceptable, but I guess I want to know what I say instead?

Also I want to understand why they're grieving for someone they've never met.

IMO the most appropriate reaction would be not to judge other people just because you don't share their feelings. No one is expecting you to grief, just try to show a bit of empathy. Even if they never met an actor/singer/writer that doesn't mean they weren't affected by their work; after all isn't that the point of being an artist?

EDIT: I found this on twitter and it explains why people mourn better than everything I could say.

If you didn't have any kind of connection to the person, it's totally okay to not care. It's your feelings and no one can tell you how to feel - everyone experiences life differently and that's totally okay. What's not okay is judging other people harshly and vocally for having their opinions - as you are allowed your opinions, so are they allowed theirs. As far as why other people do care, I suppose I can sum it up by saying some people just get attached more easily than others, even if it's to a person on television, the movies, or what-have-you. Maybe a person has a difficult home life and doesn't have anyone who is there for them, so they sort of latch on to a favorite singer or musician that they relate to. Sometimes someone is so deeply affected by what an artist/singer/etc. does with their work and their life, it feels like losing a part of themselves.

As far as what to say to someone when they say something like 'Oh I can't believe so-and-so died!' you can say something like 'I'm sorry you're sad about it. Let's do something to cheer you up.' Or you don't have to say anything at all, just pat their shoulder and nod. I don't recommend the snarkiness of 'wow you must really live a sheltered life' because none of us really know what the other person is feeling - maybe watching that actor on tv or hearing that person sing was the only happy experience they've had in their life thus far. It's not for us to judge.

You don't have to care nor do you or should you have to feel guilty that you aren't bothered by it.

i know that in my case, if i hear about a celebrity or someone of note dying and i've never had a particular connection to them, i mostly don't acknowledge it. i mean, if someone brings the topic up with me and they seem upset or distressed i would give them my sympathies. but in terms of actually making my own comments/posts/etc about them, i only really do so if it's someone who i feel somehow affected by the death of.

so, yeah, you definitely don't have to feel obligated to be upset! just as long as you know that there are a lot of reasons why many people may be, and that it doesn't make them any more or less hardened or sheltered because death affects them - especially with so many people that were so relevant in similar circles having passed recently.

I can be moved by some documentaires. Most of the time I'm not moved by songs. It's personal.

Feel sympathy if someone start a topic about a dearest one who is dead? Well, not always, but sometimes. It depands on the way someone tells about it.

If I don't feel empathy or I feel empathy and sorry for the person, but I don't know what to say. I'll just don't react in both cases.

I felt awful when Leonard Nimoy died. I never met him, I wasn't even born when he portrayed Spock but I watched Star Trek as a kid and got attached. I don't think I've had a harsh life but I would hardly call it sheltered and Mr. Nimoy's death was hardly the most disturbing or miserable experience I've been through but it still hurt. Because it was like losing a person that had given me guidance. It wasn't just another tv show, it was something that made me grow into who I am and the lessons on the show molded my views and philosophy.

Many people, children in particular, can be highly susceptible to being influenced. When you're influenced by a person, be they a celebrity you never met or even the persona they portrayed, to lose them is like losing a close friend that was there when you needed advice at the worst moments of your life. Because they're the ones who helped you grow and evolve. And who must you consult first when you have a decision to make if not your current self that evolved in some part thanks to them?

Admittedly as a 23 yr old locking myself in my room for nearly an entire day, sob texting people, and buying Nimoy dolls was a bit excessive and embarrassing but that's why people like me have friends like you. Who can smack us across the face and wake us up. I don't expect people around me to care that I loved Spock and ST, I don't even have a single friend who shares my enthusiasm for the series. A simple "I'm sorry you lost him/her" is enough. In fact, when I lose people close to me (and now I'm speaking of when family members and close friends die), the last people I want anywhere around me are people that force themselves to care and relate. When people mourn for the most part, they don't expect/want others to relate but to understand. Understand that they're hurting, even if you're not feeling anything.

I lost a number of family members a few years ago all at the same time in a single accident. It hurt and it still hurts and the first thing that forced a smile on my face and made me snap back into reality wasn't the people mourning with me but the friends that showed concern and sadness that I was feeling sad. Many of these were people here, on this site. People I've never even met.

Edit: It's kind of like this; if when Bill Nye dies, I'm going to feel like I've lost someone who played as important a part in my life as a parent. Because the reason I'm a STEM major, the reason I've ignored the fact I hate math class, is because of how fun Bill Nye made science for me. My entire future career was influenced by his tv show alone.