I'm set to graduate with my bachelor's in May. I have a plan and a back up plan on what I want to do. I'm currently living with my best friend and her husband in a two bedroom apartment but they are moving to Washington State in June (we live in Delaware). I live about 45 minutes to an hour away from my parents and I don't want to move back home because I've set my life up down here. So that means I need to get an apartment. And I refuse to live in a cheaper one for safety reasons (crime in the city has been going up). I have no problem having a roommate but the problem is I'm the only single one of my friends. The rest are married or in relationships that will led to marriage. So, I've been looking around and I found a few really nice apartments in the area that are affordable as long as my first plan works.

But here's something else that's scary: I would need to furnish it. I already have a bed and my roommates told me I can have their old sofa and loveseat. But I would need to get dishes, coffee table, curtains, a vacuum cleaner (where do you even buy a vacuum cleaner?), etc.

And to make matters worse, I'm going to be back in charge of paying for all my car payments rather than half. At the moment, I'm working a shitty part time job that barely covers my current bills. How am I supposed to do all this in June?

Is anyone else facing being an adult soon and scared senseless? If so, please grab a blanket and pillow and come join me in the blanket fort I'm building. I'll provide snacks if you provide the coloring cooks and crayons

Your first apartment is not going to be great. Although you mentioned you were worried about your safety, don't set yourself up in a situation where it's going to be impossible to pay the rent. Now that you've mentioned your part-time job, and your bills, you seem to be expressing a concern about budgeting. A room mate is always another option. There might be friends of yours from school in the same situation.

Look into getting more hours, if that is possible. Talk to your boss. Failing that, get a job with more hours. Or forego the car. I'm a student renting an apartment and I worked a part-time/full-time job taking public transportation, but then again, I live in an urban environment, and that may not be possible for you. I'm just thinking, cars can be expensive for someone who is starting out.

But, I would suggest that with the car you take yourself somewhere that sells basic things you could get for your apartment. I'm in Canada. I would say something like Ikea, Wal Mart, Dollar Store, Target, Salvation Army. Salvation Army and Used stores can be great for finding things like cups, dishes, plates. Hardware stores can also be great places for appliances where I live. (Canadian Tire, for example.) Or department stores.

Driving around is also a great way to find new furniture on the side of the road. (Usually in April, when the students are moving out.) You can check out private local adds for cheap furniture.

I had the good fortune of having my parents give me stuff when I moved out, so I wasn't forced to buy everything. From what you seem to suggest, your best friend and her husband are taking most of what belongs to the old two bedroom? They might also be willing to leave stuff behind they don't feel like moving with them. (Ask them!)

If you want to talk anymore about it, you can always SMail me. :) Don't be scared! And congratulations on your Bach!;)

Adulting is terrifying. Worth it, but sometimes -- man.

If you end up having to move back in with your folks for a few months to regroup, that's ok too! You aren't stuck with that decision if it'd help keep you out of bankruptcy in the interim. Sometimes, stepping back is the best decision for being able to get to where you want to go in the long run. And a 45 minute commute is very doable, as long as you can swing the gasoline for your tank.

There are some decently reputable roommate finding websites, too. (Craigslist not included -laughs-). In a lot of cases, people are looking to rent out a single room to help offset their mortgage / monthly note, and the better sites actually strive to pair you with someone of similar interests and background. I'd also check near the local university, and weigh the crime rate. Rent is generally less, and if campus PD patrols, it may be slightly safer than other lower-rent areas. Plus, apartments targeting students are more likely to offer fully furnished apartments for rent. (Totally a thing).

As far as furniture goes, there's no need to sweat that, especially if it'll hurt your monthly bills right now. You can live happily with only a blow up mattress, a roll of toilet tissue, and a frying pan. Thrift stores are an amazing place to find affordable gems, though -- furniture, dishes, pans, curtains, etc. I wouldn't personally take up the suggestion of picking up discarded furniture. If you do, I recommend treating it for bed bugs before bringing it into your home. Though, this ^ (pest treatment) is a very, very good idea with any preowned furniture that's been in another individual's home.

Like Comus offered, feel free to reach out to me if you're panicking or need to talk! The stress can eat alive at you if you try to bury it.

i can definitely relate with becoming an adult! i'm turning 22 this year and am planning on moving out and am also completely terrified. i have a job and an adult social life and it's... really scary!

trust me, i'm right there in your blanket fort, eating cookies.

I've been adulting a bit now and if I can, these are some of my thoughts that may help:

You can buy a vacuum cleaner at just about any department store. Walmart is probably your cheapest. You do not need to buy an expensive one. DO NOT buy everything all at once. That's a fast way to drown. You only need one plate, one bowl, one cup, one set of silverware for now. Get them at the second hand store, or the dollar store. Plenty of dollar stores sell dishes. Buy a cheap non-stick deep frying pan with a lid. If you have a deep frying pan with a lid you have a pot, a steamer, a frying pan, a deep fryer, etc. It's a utility tool that will last. Your first 'special' appliance I would suggest a slow cooker. Again, cheap brands. I personally own both high end Kitchenaid, and low end Hamilton Beach style products. Don't let big names cloud your eyes. My Hamilton Beach slow cooker I bought for dirt cheap (and on sale!) runs better and has more features than my friend's Cuisinart that they can't stand. A slow cooker is your best friend as a working person! Fresh hot oatmeal in the morning when you wake up at 6 am and don't know your name? Overnight slow cooker. A succulent roast ready for supper the moment you walk in the door after work? All day slow cooker. Pulled pork? Slow cooker. BREAD?! Slow cooker. You see where I'm going with this. Plus, slow cooking is an excellent way to turn a $5 piece of crap meat into a 5 star fork tender meal.

If you're not already doing it you need to become a flyer shopper. If you have a smart phone, download Flipp. It's a kickass flyer app. Oh and get a finance app. Some sort of budgeting tool. I find it helps a lot.

You need either a second job or better hours. You might also want to consider using the transit system. You'd be surprised how beneficial this can be. I am already off the bus and in the store when people are still struggling to park.

Honestly, a big part of adulting is compromising between what you believe and what your reality is. The first compromise might be that you're going to have to take a strong, realistic look at your expenses, and that might be accepting a lower priced place. Your first plan might not go through at all. I don't want to be the downer here, but this is real life, and we don't all get to live in the 'nice' part of town. Cheap and mediocre or 'bad' areas don't necessarily mean you're going to become a victim. Nice areas don't mean you're going to be safe either. Think about the trick or treating theory: kids always go to the nice part of town for the big chocolate bars. I find people in cheaper areas tend to have more of a sense of community, in my experience anyways. Look at plan B, because you might need it.

I'm going to be applying to a full time job with the state next month. I'm qualified for the job, I just need to take a test before I get interviewed. I also need the car because public transportation isn't very reliable here and I'm also a volunteer firefighter/ EMT to a small town about 10 miles away. There are no bus routes in or around the town.

I'm perfectly okay with not living in perfect place. I just want to live in a place that isn't a roach coach or worried about being robbed. I may see if I can find a one bedroom in the same complex I'm living in now. My roommates told me I can have my mattress, the couch, and love seat. I can also buy dishes and basic stuff at a dollar store. I'm planning on saving what I get back in financial aid, my tax refund, and pay checks from the major events I work as an EMT (NASCAR races, Firefly and Big Barrel Music Festivals.)

If I have any questions, I'll be sure to message you. Thanks. And thank you. I'll be so happy to be finished!

I would be okay moving back home for a few weeks/month until I'm able to find a place I afford and I'm safe in. I'll see if I can find any apartments closer to school and the schools in the area. I'll be sure to message you if I have any questions. Thanks!

Come on in! My roommate's dogs are hanging out too. They are friendly and love to give kisses.

I'm not worried about food. I'm actually on food stamps and I know what to get to make more bang for my buck. And I have a small crockpot that I love. I figured I could get dishes from a dollar store.

Like I mentioned before, the public transport system isn't the best and not in convenient areas, esp since I'm a volunteer firefighter/ EMT.

I'm not expecting to live in a gated community. But being an EMT, I know the problem areas and the cheaper areas are well known for drug deals, armed robberies, fires, etc. I know my parents won't allow me to live in those complexes. My dad is a Marine and I'm the baby. I know my parents would worry nonstop about me and I can't do that to them.

Don't worry, plan B is also doable (going back to school and getting my paramedic degree).

Like most of them said before; don't set yourself up. 'Adulting' isn't hard. It is merely another set of steps in your every day life. Set yourself a goal, budget your money, save money back, shop around for apartments with the requirements to your tastes in your ideal locations and begin setting up which area is your favorite and a second, third and a fourth if you want to be careful. Make sure you contact the owner by phone, ask if they will have what you want available for rent on your ideal move out date and make your choice from there.

I wouldn't be surprised if you take to it a lot quicker than you think you will. It sounds like you've had a gradual transition into adulthood so far - this is just the next step. Yeah, becoming completely independent can be scary, but just keep reminding yourself that you can do this. =)

Some advice for filling your own apartment: Buy used, take advantage of sales or discount stores, and ask if anyone you know has any hand-me-downs. I've been on my own for 10 years now, and yet half the stuff in my apartment still came second-hand (for example, our vacuum used to belong to my husband's grandfather =P). And remember: Some items don't need to be built to last forever - they just need to last until you can afford to replace them with something better.

And, right now you have a bit of time; you know what you're going to need, so pick up whatever items you can find for cheap between now and then. You may not have the means to purchase everything come June, so take the time you have to prepare. But don't try and overcompensate and buy too much, either; when I moved from my old place I had to do a massive purge, 'cause I just had too much stuff. My husband and I also frequently comb through our apartment for things we don't need/use and donate 'em. Half of our flatware is currently in our storage locker 'cause we didn't need all that we had accumulated over the years. Sometimes less is more. =)

A lot of the above advice has been good, so I don't want to repeat too much (though I will advise against taking furniture found off the side of the road, unless you want to risk getting bed bugs; free can sometimes be shockingly expensive). But one last thing I'll add is: If you're nervous about running your own budget, take advantage of Mint.com. It's a very helpful budgeting website that I've been using for a little while now. Even if you have a decent grasp on your finances, it can still help you to see where exactly your money is going every month. For example, through Mint we discovered my husband was spending far too much on just Redbull every month; even though we "knew" he was spending a lot on it, we had no idea just how much it all added up to until it was staring us in the face.

And, to answer your last question: Yeah, I'm about to take my next step into adulthood, and it's pretty terrifying. Our first child is due in May, and I'm both excited and scared at the same time. We're both ready, and this baby was very much planned (in fact, we had to fight pretty hard to get here), but it's still a HUGE step, y'know? =P

just buy everything at thrift shops and put an ad on facebook asking if people have any furniture they don't want anymore it's what i did

I'm just scared of failing. I want to be an independent adult. Thanks for the advice though. And sorry for the delay and short message. I started the semester on Monday and have been cramped for time to sit down on here

I just got my Bachelor's degree last month. I am fucking terrified. I'm still living at home because I am trying to save money to move out. I'm looking for a job. I am beyond terrified, which is why I've come back to Subeta.

I graduate with my bachelors this year as well and am moving abroad once I do, so I completely feel your fear! All I can think about right now is where am I going to live, and what am I doing to do for a job, and why on earth have I made the decisions that I have made throughout my life that have led me here. It's a pretty overwhelming thing, but for me it helps to talk to older friends of mine that have gone through a similar time in their life and come out the other side.

There is nothing wrong with failing as long as you tried your hardest. Failing isn't a bad thing, remember that. Failing is only bad when you give up and don't learn anything from the failure.

First thing is to take a deep breath and try not to get overwhelmed. When I graduated I got a job right out of grad school. The job was 3,000 miles away so not only was this the first time living on my own, but I was moving to a place I had never been with no friends and family to help so I understand how you feel.

Do you have a full time job lined up or are you still looking while you work pt? The first thing to do is to make sure you budget and keep it up to date. It may take a couple of months to see how much you are really spending on food, utilities and other bills, but you should be able to have a good estimate. Make sure you are always saving a small amount from each paycheck into your "rainy day" fund. If you see you are spending too much in food or entertainment, try cooking more and eating out less, or resist the urge to buy a lot of snacks if you're spending a ton on non nitritious food. That will help with your money worries.

If you don't have a full time job lined up and even after budgeting you still aren't making ends meet, you can always try getting more than one part time job or consider living with your family for a while. There is nothing wrong with living at home straight out of college. People have loans to pay off on top of other things so unless you have a nice paying job, things can be rough for a while. Heck, I have some friends that got jobs straight out of college and chose to live at home so they can save a lot more money to either move when they're ready into a place they like or so that they could go on vacation more often. At some point you will want your own place, but there's still plenty of time for that. I think it would be better if you moved back home and saved up until you found the job you want and a nice place you really want.

I'm so jealous! Where are you moving? I wish I could move to Southern Spain or France. Or Holland. Or New Zealand.

I'm just scared that I'll end up bankrupted and I'll have to move back home and depend on my 65 year old parents like my one sister.

Yes, I'm applying to a job with the state in the beginning of February. I have also created Plans B, C, and D. As for food, I'm on food stamps and I know how to spend it wisely and I don't flaunt the card when I'm at the store, I buy modest but somewhat healthy items.

I'm just worried I'll have to depend more on my parents when they are in the mid 60s. I really hate asking them for money but I was short on rent this month. I got paid today and will be paying them back some of the money

I haven't read through the rest of the thread, basically because I'm a lazy fuck. But you shouldn't be afraid to get second-hand things - dishes, furniture, etc. If you go to a Salvation Army or Goodwill or Value World store, you can all of the things you'll need sooooo much cheaper than regular stores. Just look things over to make sure they're clean and not broken and you'll be fine.

I'm actually still not on my own house-wise. I still live with my parents who are in their 70s. I have a decent job, but I also have a car payment, a phone payment, and other various bills, so it's just not enough to pay rent on top of that.

Most of my clothes come from Goodwill, so I'm not too scared to get dishes from there. I also have seen nice dishes at the Dollar Store. I guess this isn't where I pictured myself 10 years ago. I had hoped I'd been married with a beautiful house and a great job. But I'm not and I just have to keep trying

I owed my parents 11 grand from college but once I got my first full time job I was able to pay them off in installments. Honestly though, if you are struggling just to make ends meet, you really should consider living at home so you don't have to borrow money for rent and other bills. You can even offer to buy groceries and make dinner as a way of paying your parents back for giving you a place to stay. Save your money, get your full time job, and then get an apartment and pay your parents back.

I am re-considering it, even if it's just a short amount of time

Yes, just keep trying. You seem to have a good attitude about it, so I think you'll be just fine. After all, you're a Hufflepuff and we're kind of the epitome of awesome.