I am trying to help a friend with his girl problems. Even though I'm a girl and he thinks I should be able to help him, I don't understand other women very well, because I'm weird. So, anyway. Here's the situation. He keeps trying to find relationships through online dating. For one reason or another, he keeps messing it up though. The girl that he most recently talked to....they went on two dates. And then she randomly freaked out and stopped talking to him, even though from as far as I can tell, he didn't do anything that should have freaked her out. So, here's the question. What advice would you guys give to a stranger that you've never met, who seems to have awful luck with women?

Honestly, without knowing more, it's hard to give appropriate advice that would be beneficial to him. But, if you're looking for something general?

Perhaps he might need to stop trying so hard? I'm not even sure if that's one of his issues, but I do know that coming on too strongly can scare anyone off, regardless of gender. Tell him to relax and not try and force anything; not everyone he meets is automatically going to be "the one", so it's okay to strike out now and again.

Yeah, being rejected sucks - but he can't let it get him down. That one person wasn't interested - that doesn't mean the next one won't be, either. He has to keep trying, without letting desperation take control (instant turn-off for anyone; confidence, not cockiness, is sexy - even if he has to fake it a bit until the real thing starts to kick in =P).

Most importantly, he can't be afraid to be himself. Let's say the next girl he dates likes the guy he's pretending to be - what happens when the mask comes off and he starts showing her who he really is? Suddenly he's no longer the person she fell for, and she's gonna take off. Start off by being yourself, and you're guaranteed that the person you're with likes you for who you truly are, and not who you were pretending to be. This will save everyone buckets of time and energy.

And, finally, this may be the harshest one: If he's continuously getting shut down, over and over again, perhaps a little self-reflection is needed? It can be hard to pinpoint what exactly is turning these people off - and you, as a friend and not a potential romantic partner, may not be able to see it yourself. Sometimes it can help to ask the women he has dated (who are still open to talking to him after the fact) what, in their opinion, went wrong - especially if they share a common complaint. Sometimes it'll be a personal issue they have with him that he can't help with. Other times he may find that it was an issue within himself he has been ignoring that needs to be addressed.

Again, this is just some general advice, and it's likely that not all of it will be applicable here. In any case, I hope I was able to help at least a little?

Me personally I'm a bit weird too, and I try and be myself. I'm pretty blunt, but also a bit shy at first. If you can't accept me for me than its never going to work. Maybe she was weird herself. Maybe online dating wasn't for her or he wasn't her type. Did he say exactly what happened? I need a nit more in order to fully understand the situation at hand.

I've went on two dates with two different guys I've met online. The first guy seemed a bit off and into himself. We were just two different, but he would randomly text me emojis, idk haha. The other guy was cool when I met him and we spent maybe 2 hours taking when we met up and texted later that night. The next day he just stopped talking to me. Everything was fine before. Idk guys are weird. haha

I would say that there's a decently high change that he's trying too hard. Like, she keeps blowing him off and then posting on Facebook about what a bad day she is having and whatever, and then he'll send her a message and try to tell her that he's thinking about her and to feel better. They started seeing each other right before Christmas, so he got her a really thoughtful gift, but then wasn't able to give it to her, so he ended up taking it to her house and leaving it for her with this letter saying that if she needed anything to let him know. I think that he's not giving her enough space maybe? I wish I could talk to someone that he used to date about it. I feel like that would be really useful. But in the entire time I've known him, he's only really dated 4 people, two of whom I never met, one I don't have a way to contact and one who was pretty cynical about him even existing any time he was brought up. You're probably right thought that whatever it is, its something I can't really see as a friend type.

He said that everything was fine after the second date, and then she just stopped responding to him. He says that he doesn't know what he did, but that he feels like he must have said something offputting on the second date. It's kind of hard to determine, without having been there. I've never really done online dating, myself, but I think that it's probably hard because most people are different than they are online in person.

Yea he probably wasn't what she wanted or expected, but there must have been something there if they made it to a second date.

re: the most recent girl - he's definitely trying way too hard. I would say there's more than a good chance that he came on way too strong and she freaked and cut him off because she had no way of knowing if he was just an awkward guy trying too hard or if he was about to go full on stalker mode. The messaging her after her posting about having a bad day isn't bad, but IMO if you went on a first date or two right before Christmas, the gift/letter situation is pretty dodgy. He may have only had good intentions, but unfortunately it doesn't matter. Think of it this way - a guy she met online a few weeks ago went out of his way to her home, most likely when she wasn't there, to leave a mystery package on the porch. If that had happened to me, some very strong words would've been spoken to establish boundaries, and if the guy kept clinging afterwards, nope. I'm out.

Also, it may be worth it to note that the best relationships always come out of nowhere, when you're least expecting it. My current bf (of almost 2 years) and I met when I was a complete mess over another guy. I was in no way looking for any type of relationship, casual or not, and he wanted something more on the casual side. He tried to talk me into going out for drinks with him for weeks and I finally agreed to grab a coffee with him knowing that it wouldn't take very long and I could just gently let him down afterwards. That coffee date ended up lasting over 6 hours. One of my coworkers was in a similar situation. He and his wife have now been together for over a decade and have 4 kids. As he said, when you're actively trying to get in a relationship, you tend to lower your standards because you want it so badly. And then once you give up, the perfect person for you just comes along and completely takes you by surprise.

"And then she randomly freaked out and stopped talking to him, even though from as far as I can tell, he didn't do anything that should have freaked her out."

Can you explain this more? How exactly was she freakin out, and about what? Or what did she say? What's the context?? Did she freak out on facebook, freak out in a phonecall/text directly to him, in person?

Well, first off, I don't think it has to do with anything from online dating. My boyfriend that I'm dating, we've been together almost 2 and a half years, and we meet off of Facebook! But like the others said in the beginning, it's hard to give advice on something that we have hardly information on with what happened. I just think it's the girls that your friends been talking too. Like, every one is battling their own battle, maybe there was just a small trait that reminded them of something they don't like? Not saying there's anything wrong with your friend, I'm just saying when I'm thinking! He just needs to find a lady who knows what she wants, so that there is no games in the relationship!

You're probably right. So he left her the gift and the note and everything, and she ended up posting on facebook about what a good guy he was to get her something that was relevant to her interests and everything, and they talked on and off for a couple of days. They hung out again once after that, and when he say her, she apparently told him that she was interested in him, but then she stopped talking to him again. He sent her a message to ask if she was ok and wanted to talk, and decided that if she didn't approach him first within the next two weeks he was just going to give up. Of course, I think that his good intentions are probably coming out really weird too, because he ordered a present for her birthday that he prepaid for and set to deliver on the date (in February) and now this girl is going to get a random present from someone that she didn't even formally break up with and it's going to get awkward.

I am assuming that she freaked out. She said nothing out of the ordinary to him the last time they talked, and she didn't even post a vague facebook status about it. She just vanished.

I think that's a big deal for a lot of people if someone reminds them of something that they didn't like about someone else that they were with, or has a trait that reminds them of something that makes them sad. I've seen a lot of people lately have issues with a relationship and flip out on someone seemingly over something really small but they'll say "I don't like this behavior because my ex did it" or whatever. So it's entirely possible that he was doing something that reminded her of someone else.