At my school, a group of girls and I are trying to colonize a sorority. This process is grueling and requires that we complete step after step after step of tasks to become an actual chapter of this colony, it's hard, but I have no doubt that we will become this chapter in the amount of time that we are supposed to, however, we keep coming across issues, not issues in the soundness of our work, but with our leadership skills. We (especially me, as the vice president) are having issues managing the group. They complain about everything we do and constantly take digs at me every time I speak. At most meetings, I hardly participate other than my specifically listed duties because there's an issue every time I speak.

Recently, one of the girls DM'd me in an app to tell me that I wasn't a strong leader, with stronger words, like shit and bitch, so instead of getting back at her I just said ok and asked her what I could do and why no one had ever told me I was disrespectful before and instead of answering me, she told I should have asked her that before.

I work really hard to hear everyone in our group and to make sure that the other officers hear them as well, but I feel like I probably need to change this leading style into something more active.

I will admit that I had some behavioral issues in the past, though. (Yelling, not keeping a straight face)

So I'm wondering what things I can do to become a stronger leader?