So I was stupid and went on Facebook to see if anyone was awake to chat about how depressed I am, and I find all this anti-Muslim crap from my sister and mother. WTF?

I've kicked so many people out of my life because of their BS that I am alone with no real world friends. And depressed as shit about it. I'm 42 years old, married with a kid, and every day I have to tell myself "No, things aren't that bad. You can stick it out one more day."

And now this.

Any tips on how a ridiculously shy woman can make friends and/or not completely lose her shit with her closest family members?

i'm sorry you have to see your relatives' hateful views on facebook and such, it can be really difficult to see people you were once close with have such different views than yours.

as far as making friends, my mom, who is 50, also doesn't have many friends. she uses an app called meetup to meet people sometimes -- it's an app where groups of strangers do things together, like hiking. (it's safer than it sounds.) she has met people through hikes before and it's a fun way to do new things. perhaps you could try that.
best of luck and i hope things get better for you soon!

I feel your pain. I had recently added a slew of Family from down south to my Facebook just before the whole gay marriage and confederate flag things exploded and suddenly my page was a series of rainbows and confederate flags, mixed with "Yay for tolerance!" and "Down with Heathens!" views. It's honestly, heartbreaking to watch.

But you know, I got fed up with it.

So I made a post, that I set to public. It basically said, "Today, I had to delete some people. I want to make it clear, you're entitled to your views as much as I am mine, but, our views are so vastly different. I will always love you, and if you ever are in dire need, will open my doors to you." That way, after I deleted the people I just couldn't get along with, they would be able to see that post and understand why I removed them.

It's not easy, it does make things lonelier. I wish my family and I could find common ground. But there's no way for me to stand by someone putting down gay marriage when my little brother, who is one of two of the most important people in my world is gay himself.

But you know, I'm happier now. It's kind of an Out of Sight, Out of Mind deal. I can go on, happily living my life and hoping they are happily living theirs.

As for making friends, it seems like everywhere I turn, everyone is looking but no one is honestly Trying anymore. You meet someone, talk to them a bit. You're hitting it off, but then, Nothing. It's like they died and you'll never see them between short text conversations and long enough for them to have every excuse under the sun not to hang out, interact, etc. I wish I could offer a solution there. But I have none, beyond my own attempts to be a good friend to others. All you can do is keep reaching out and making the effort, but if the other person doesn't try, don't waste your time and move forward. As long as you can say you did your best to be a good friend, then you should have no regrets trying.

And as for being shy about it, Well, How much do you want those friends? Sometimes, our shyness really is a mind over matter deal. Kind of like happiness. My Grandmother always said, "You have to choose to be happy." And I thought she was dumb for it for most of my life. And then one day I was like, "Ugh, I just wish I were happy." for about the thousandth time and then I asked, "Wait, Why aren't I?" For every reason I came up with, I also was able to reason that I didn't have to be sad or hurt or whatever negative feeling I had about it, as long as I addressed it. Being shy is like that too. "Wait, Why can't I approach that person?" "Because they might think I'm weird." "So? If they think I'm weird, then what?" "Well.. Uhh.. Nothing I guess?" "Right, so go approach that person!"

Set yourself small goals. Do nice things, it helps us be brave if we feel like we're doing something kind that could be appreciated. Make small steps. Maybe approach the next person you see being kind and let them know you think that's really amazing of them.

Live to Give.

And by that I mean, Give out your honest heart with every chance given to you, and while it may not always pan out, at least you won't have any regrets that you yourself did anything wrong.

I don't intervent with debates about any kind of religions because I'm really tired of all those issues. It's not I'm not intrested in those subjects, but I prefer to follow sourges who are so objective and nutral as possible (intersubjective). I can gife you a link I read regulary if you want.

I stay far awy from facebook, twitter hyves and so on, because those contacts seems to me too supervicial. I'm agree with chiibi to sett yourself small goals.

I'm sorry your mom has got a fiew you couln't share.

Thank you all for your kind words and thoughtful suggestions. This is always a hard time of year for me, so you'd think I'd be used to this sort of thing happening and setting me off. And yet it's always a surprise.

I made up with my Mom the only way I know how: by being honest with her. That's all I can ever do. Maybe one day it will stick.

Anyway, thank you for being kind and thinking about me. Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays! <3

In any case, I wish you much strength in the near future. Take care.

Thank you. :)