Three years ago I worked as an aftercare counselor at my local elementary school. I was there for 3 years, and loved it. I left to take a full time job, but having decided to go back to school I inquired again. The new manager there had heard about me and was very excited to bring me back on board. My first day was yesterday.

It took all of my energy to make myself go back today. And I'm already dreading tomorrow. Those kids are so ridiculously out of control and I have no idea what I'm going to do. Today I worked with 4th graders (ages 8-9) and their counselor, and I'm thinking that is going to end up being my permanent place next week. I have never seen such ill behaved children. Only about a quarter of them listened, and half of them blatantly ignored their counselor. This woman is not consistent with them and has allowed them to walk all over her (if they ignored her long enough, she would just stop trying and let them continue to do what they were doing). They spoke back to her, they argued with her, they did whatever the hell they wanted.

I never had this issue when I worked here previously and I am terrified of whats going to happen when I start handling the group myself. They'll need to be retaught their boundaries. So I really need some advice (from teachers, aftercare staff, or parents) on how to set the ground rules and gain their respect as quickly as possible.

TL;DR: kids are out of control, how can I assert my authority with them as a new staff member?

Thanks in advance, everyone!

I was hoping I could offer you some advice, but I'm at a loss. Tomorrow is my day to be with the kids in my daughter's preschool and I dread every Thursday for similar reasons. My saving grace is the incredible teacher there who is a shining light of guidance to us parents.

Are you going to be taking on this group alone, just you? The only thing that comes to mind is to take them in a completely new direction from the very moment of your first day in control. But a fun direction. Do something super fun and interesting to grab their attention, something that makes them happy to see you and eager to talk and interact with you. Create a bond around that first day, and hopefully good things will follow!

I wish you luck!

- Kids these days are the worst behaved ever. I've heard similar things form my parents, whom have worked at elementary schools for 20 years.

I've taken care of kids at school summer camp before, but didn't have much say in anything. Also, I've observed so many parents and their kids at my former jobs and while shopping. What I've noticed is there's a total lack of boundaries set. Kids are allowed to scream, cause a mess, and put themselves in danger without the parents saying anything.

But anyway, from other kids I've taken care of, there's ways to get them to behave.

1. Establish boundaries right away. Something like, while I'm talking, raise your hand if you have a question.
2. Give them reasons for the boundaries.
3. Don't be too strict. You want to be liked, not feared.
4. Give incentives for good behavior. Start out with short term incentives, like give them extra play time outside if everyone behaves for a day. Then, reduce the amount of times you give incentives as their behavior improves.
5. If they don't listen, a not too harsh punishment should be placed. Like, forced quiet time for 30 minutes or something like that.
6. Listen to them. They want their opinions and emotions to be validated.
7. Be a friend while being someone they need to respect.

Hopefully this helps. O-O

I agree with . These kids are probably used to teachers coming in and trying to be strict with them to get their behavior under control. I would start off by stating my boundaries (class rules); post them somewhere. And definitely give incentives for good behavior. Maybe ask the kids what incentives would motivate them. Reward them for good behavior right away. Maybe try different styles of learning; not lecturing, but have them be active (experiments, etc that they can participate in; not necessarily just for science). I think that could help!