So about two years ago, I was diagnosed with celiac disease. The switch from my usual lifestyle over to one of exclusively eating gluten free was difficult enough for me to make (I bake every holiday season, cookies and cakes and candies, and it's really hard to modify some of my favorite recipes), but what I didn't expect was the fierce backlash from some of my family members. From my mother's conviction that "a little bit of gluten won't hurt you" to my brother accusing me of "forcing him" to eat "health food," it's been a really bumpy ride.

Since I was diagnosed, it's been a lot harder during the holidays and other various family get togethers (family reunions, the annual picnic, birthday parties, etc), since all of a sudden my family has to figure out how to maneuver around my dietary restriction during the holiday get-togethers. It's gotten to a point where I honestly just take my own food aside from the gingerbread cupcakes I make every year.

Anyone else having to deal with navigating a restrictive diet with their family? We can commiserate and share virtual allergen-free cookies.

I totally get it. I don't have celiac thank goodness but gluten still does horrible things to my system. I have PCOS or polycystic ovary syndrome. Which in all honesty means I'm supposed to eat like a diabetic as well as stay away from anything with gluten in it. On top of all of that I was also diagnosed with Fibro Myalgia this last summer.

I feel like that person who has everything wrong with them around the holidays. I can't get too cold, I can't get too hot, I can't eat this, or that, or this. I am very lucky that some of the family I have chosen rather than was born into has a lot of allergies as well. Until I have my own space (I live in a College dorm room right now) It looks like dietary restrictions are going to have to wait...and by this I mean...I just suffer, which is horrible and I know it but honestly I'm at such a loss of what to do about it.

Uff, that's rough. :/ I have very few food allergies and some other weird stuff going on, but having to cut something that major out of your diet is seriously really tricky.

I know what it's like dealing with being in another person's space while navigating food allergies. I'm lucky enough to have been living in my own space since June, but before that... yeah. It's super hard. Especially when people don't understand the concept of cross contamination.

I've been a vegetarian for 15 years; it started off as a choice, but now it's been so long that even a hint of cross contamination wreaks havoc on my digestive system. So yes, I can definitely relate to the frustration. =P

Honestly, when attending any holiday or meal-related gatherings, I never go in expecting anyone to cater to me (in fact, it makes me extremely uncomfortable if I feel like they're going out of their way to make something special just for me =/). A lot of times I'll either bring my own food, or stick to any side dishes I know to be safe for me to eat. Thankfully, with at least one side of my family, I'm not the only one to have some dietary restrictions. Everyone tends to be really understanding, and there's usually a fair amount of vegetarian/gluten-free/dairy-free/etc options.

The good news is - at least it was the case with me - they will come to be more understanding, given enough time. It can be a hard transition for everyone, and some just take longer to adjust to it than others. (Which I feel really strange saying, because logically speaking: It's just food, guys. Get over yourselves. I mean, really, who cares what someone else does or doesn't eat? D=)

As a result of recent cholecystectomy (gallbladder removal), I'm restricted when it comes to things that are greasy and fried. Which is a lot of my family's favorite cooking. Fried chicken, deep fried catfish, fried burgers, fried pork, etc. In addition, I -am- a bit more sensitive to spice level than I used to be. I mean, I can still eat spicy things, but I have to dial it back from the spicy I used to be able to tolerate (Sriracha and above) to what my body's able to handle (mild curry level at max.)

Admittedly they have been good about accomodating to the grease level at times--they'll bake the chicken and broil burgers, but I don't think they'll ever try the buttermilk method to get the muddiness out of catfish...which is a shame because I'd love to try baked catfish.

I'm sorry. :( I've been gluten-free since 2007, vegetarian since 2009, dairy-free since the end of 2010. Very intolerant to all of that because my body is rebellious. I'm very grateful and lucky that no one in my family has been negative towards me. That said, my extended family doesn't really "get it" so I still prefer not to eat food they cook/bake. I assure them not to worry about me, I bring food I can eat and usually share (and they like nearly everything I make!). They often provide plain fruits and veggies. I'm slightly wary of what my immediate family makes too, because while they understand more they aren't as careful as me with label reading, remembering ingredients, cleaning up, etc. Basically I'm used to making all my own food anyway. 'orz

It's a bugger to have dietary restrictions, especially if you have to worry about cross-contamination for serious health reasons. My sympathies to all of you! BUT if you need help finding recipes for anything, just hit me up, I'll do my best to help!

I chose to stop eating onion and garlic - i noticed these two popular ingredients make my body odor smell worse [as if it wasn't bad enough already] and they started to hurt my stomach as well. :( [i can eat well cooked onions, but i'm still scared of th epain. i had to call the ambulance on several occasions] Granted, i'm not a picky eater by far, but now i became one. i have family members that accepted it and when they cook for me they remember not to use these 2 things. but not everyone is as understanding or concerned. While i do all the cooking for myself, i do occasionally receive food from the family. Last sunday i received eggplant salad [baked/roasted eggplants, mashed and mixed with a lot of oil, salt, and chopped raw onion]. i REALLY like this salad, but i make it without onion. And because i really like this dish, i HAD to have some. i was really upset because of the raw onion, but decided a little bit won't hurt. BOY, was I WRONG, big time! I had some salad on sunday at lunch, and the pain started late afternoon, and by monday it was unbearable. 3am, and the ambulance was at my door giving me shots to calm the pain down. ;-; And to top things off, i couldn't eat the whole week. o.o [my flatmate got really upset both with me and the salad-sender. they appologized, but the damage was done :( yea,.. i just need to control my cravings a bit more].

I can sympathize with all of you who have dietary restrictions and issues with the family because of them. they will get better with time, trust me. try and learn how to cook for yourself as not to worry about the clashes anymore, and let them cook for themselves. sounds selfish, but they will get used to it and accept it.

i wish all of you, all the health you need and can get.

It's always comforting to hear from other people who've had the same problems. Bless my mother's heart, she tries, but she forgets more often than not... even days after she's had to eat with me and dodge around my dietary restrictions! One of these days, I'll teach her label reading...

That sucks about the onion problem. D: I've heard of people having reactions like that. I'm similar with tomatoes, but I get hives as opposed to pain... similarly, cooking them seems to negate that.

I do mostly cook for myself these days, since I live alone (save for my two cats), and I have a pretty long standing rule that I won't cook anything with gluten in it, and if my parents come and have pizza with me and their pizza is a regular one without a gf crust, they have to clean up and be very careful what it touches. I know it's being strict, but I gotta protect myself somehow.

i don't think you're strict about asking your parents to clean after they eat a regular pizza crust. I think you're just protecting your health. If you are not caring about your health, or your life, it will be difficult for someone else to do so. :/

In the end they will remember that you have this health problem, and will start being more careful. [or at least one can hope so.] I would be really upset if i got hives from eating any food. :( i wish you all the best hugs

I know the pain!!!

You see, right before Thanksgiving I got diagnosed with an inflamed gallbladder and I'm already a vegetarian due to I'm deathly allergic to all meat, fish, and shellfish. Now I'm on this diet called the Bland Diet, It cuts everything down to like an 1/8. This past Thanksgiving I was allowed to have mashed potatoes. That's it. After that found out that potatoes make me sick.

Next is coming Christmas, I'm worried I won't be able to eat. It is such a bad feeling.

I try to accommodate different dietary needs for guests. If it is an unusual requirement that I don't know how to fix or prepare correctly, I would just ask the person to bring something. That being said, I have visited others where I could not eat what was presented (even though I had told people about what I could or couldn't eat). In those cases I just would bring something to drink or eat, or have a portion of a side dish (such as a salad) instead of the extreme spicy food (of which I couldn't eat).

I think that the complexity of the digestive system makes people not understand or accept that what is fine for one person isn't good for another. We have individual mixes of bacteria in our system, and while one person can handle fried foods just fine, another person can't digest it at all. Combine that with social niceties, if we can't eat what the rest of the party is eating, than we are seen as unusual.

Oh, certainly. I mean, I know it's been really hard for my family to adjust. I'm the only one in the immediate family with this issue. Everyone else is in our extended family, so they're not as much on their minds. I've tried to be very patient about helping them understand what I can and cannot eat, too, but...

Then last night happens, and "oh I just put corn starch in it" turns into "you can have Jiffy corn muffin mix, right?" and I end up sobbing while sitting on the bathroom floor wrapped around my poor cat for three hours.

I do think a little of it is that not eating what's offered at a party is considered rude in a lot of places, too. Keep turning down dishes and everyone assumes you're being impolite. My fingers are crossed for an eventual meeting of minds where my family and I can come to an agreement on this mess.

@ Raccoon I don't have any real dietary restrictions fortunately, but when I became a vegetarian a couple years ago my mother (I still lived at home back then) made stew with all these tiny bits of bacon in it. I had asked her to keep a portion apart before putting in the bacon but she didn't, basic response was "if you don't like it take them out". Thanks mom, won't ask again... I've been cooking my own food ever since.

Mind you, I have a choice to eat meat or not and you don't have a choice to eat gluten or not, so our situation is quite difference. I find your family's response rather insensitive, particularly your brother saying you force him to eat "health food". If they don't like what you eat, nothing's stopping them to eat something else? A friend of mine has Crohn's disease and that has never really been an issue during get-togethers. It's difficult to keep track of what she can or can't eat so if she's coming over I ask for a recipe of something that won't poison her, and generally there's also 'normal' food for the rest of us.

At Christmas, my dad and I make the vegetarian dishes and my mom and the rest of the family cover the meat portion of the christmas meal. In your situation, not everything has to be gluten-free right? As long as there are also things you can eat.

Eating with my friends is the easy part, yeah. My brother just likes being difficult. Mostly, I bring my own things I can eat to family get-togethers, and as long as there's other things I can eat (I'm safe with, say, a lunchmeat and cheese tray... I just bake a loaf of bread and bring my own to make sandwiches). The thing that always gets me is when they insist something is safe, then wonder why I get sick when I eat it (such as the Jiffy incident).

They also don't quite understand that cross-contamination is a thing... I've found I have to catch them before they use the same serving spoon for two things, one that's safe and one that isn't, particularly when they go for the unsafe first.

I have found that the holidays are the worst time for this. Most other times of the year are pretty easy to manage.