First, you should know that I work as concierge at an assisted living facility. That means I sit at a desk in the lobby and help visitors and residents with things that they need, answer phones, and do miscellaneous office stuff. There is no smoking in the building and staff members are not allowed to smoke out front - they must do so in an area off to the side of the building where no one can see them. It's a locked unit, so I have to push a button at my desk to unlock the doors and let people in and out.

But let's get to the point, shall we? There's this one resident that smokes. She's the only resident who does. Not one of the 72 other residents who lives here smokes at all. This one lady goes out the front door at least 20 times a day to have a cigarette and when the weather's cold and wet like it is this time of year, she lights up in the vestibule (area between two sets of front doors) and the smoke comes inside. Even when she lights up outside that area, she stays smack in front of the front doors and the smoke comes in. I'm highly allergic to nicotine and tobacco both. I have a coughing fit when she comes and goes and my breathing is heavy for 15-20 minutes after she leaves. It's not only me either. Other residents and visitors have noticed and do not like her smoking there. It makes the whole facility look bad. I used to have to keep her cigarettes up here at my desk and give them to her every time she went out. But I told my boss how much that bothered me and let her know about my allergies and she made the care staff keep them in their cart.

And it's not only her smoking that bothers me, although that is by far the biggest problem. If I do not unlock the doors quickly enough to suit her (I am usually busy answering phones, helping other people, and doing 15 other things at any given point in time) she glares at me and snarks some mean comment. Sometimes, she runs out of cigarettes and asks me to let care staff know so they will bring some down. This is never, and I repeat never, done fast enough for her liking. Whether it's 5 minutes or 20 minutes (which it sometimes is because, hello, 72 other residents to take care of who have more pressing needs than needing a goddamn smoke) she throws a huge fit complete with name-calling and not-polite-langauge, basically makes a huge scene, and it makes us look bad, not to mention scares the other residents and turns off the visitors. It's a mess no matter how you look at it.

I've told my boss about how it's really affecting my allergies (not in a whiny way, just a point-of-fact way). I've told her how I've had several complaints from other residents' family members, one of whom even said something to the effect of 'it makes this not feel like my mom's home' which really hit hard because we want this to feel like home to the residents and their family. I've even suggested some options that I thought might work, such as a couple of other ideas of places she could smoke that are not where visitors could see or possibly asking her family to get her an electronic cigarette that wouldn't emit smoke or scent. But nothing's changed yet. So I don't really know what to do.

[[Note: I don't mean to be rude to smokers here, truly I don't. I have nothing against smokers who take others' needs into consideration - smoking in areas that are away from where it might bother people, not hanging around when you realize your scent is bothering someone's health, etc. I just needed to get this story out.]]

I know exactly how you feel.I can't stand the smell, not only does it make me sick, but I really don't want second hand, and I have a heart condition so its not good.My job clearly states "No Smoking within such and such feet of the building." Yet they stand outside the door and smoke, one lady came into the grocery store with a cigarette lit up.We're a grocery store and forbid smoking inside, but since I'm only a cashier, I can't do anything.

However, I don't have a problem with smokers who try and make sure it doesn't effect non-smokers, such as rolling down windows or sitting away from entrances etc.

Forgive me for making this very rude joke but I feel like I need to say it: let's hope she dies of the smoke before you do.

In all seriousness: I see where you are coming from. Could you not approach her and tell her you're not going to open the door unless she moves away far enough so the smoke doesn't get inside? To be honest, you having the cigarettes at first would have also been a good mechanism to make her -not- stand in front of the door, or the next time she's not getting the cigarettes. I don't know if it's crude but I think she won't move if you just ask her.

@ Lisa

My mother has been a registered nurse for almost 37 years, and I can say from being raised the woman what kind of controversy smoking can cause. We are both smokers ourselves. The only ridiculous rules against smoking in any kind of health facility is that you can't smoke inside your car in the very back of the parking lot, far away from the building or you will be fined 500$.

The only thing I can think you could possibly do, is what you have suggested. I know it's a little far out there, but you could try interesting her into vaping or something. She would still get some satisfaction from smoking, but it would be vapor and wouldn't smell bad at all. Plus, you could try to interest her in the different flavors. Like I said, it is a little far fetched, but may be worth a shot.

Just continue to try and be as sweet as you can be, it hard and you are going to have to ask the universe for a lot of patience, but in the long run it will work out. You attract more flies with honey than you do with vinegar.