I know it's probably too soon, but my boyfriend and I have been together for a year. The happiness in the relationship has not faded, but we are past the honeymoon phase thing. We are able to have serious discussions and support each other. We've lived with each other for approximately 9 months and we both want to find an apartment together for next year since we've been staying with his mom. He's aspiring to get a 4 year degree in electrical engineering, so I'm happy with his aspirations for the future. Honestly, I can see myself getting married to him. He's always been so sweet and encouraging. He comforts me when I need it and we are both vegetarian. I hope I am returning his affections as much as possible.

Done rambling. What are your thoughts?

There really is no "should" in this situation - every couple is different, and some take longer than others to get to a place where marriage is something they're willing to consider. No one should expect a proposal unless it has already been explicitly discussed beforehand - otherwise you're just setting yourself up to be hurt if it takes too long according to your expectations.

Have you and your boyfriend discussed marriage or your long-term future together? I know you mentioned having serious discussions, but that doesn't always mean marriage is on their mind. I'm not saying this to be rude or try and hurt your feelings - I'd just hate to see you get hurt by expecting too much. It would put a lot of strain on your relationship if he thinks you two are in one spot while you think you're in another.

You also brought up that he wants to go back to school, for a four year program? In a lot of cases, people will choose to put off engagement/marriage until after their schooling is completed. Some others want to try and establish their career first, or buy a house - or some other goal that puts them in a better position to start a life with someone. This certainly isn't the case for everyone (wasn't the case for me and my husband), but I mention it because without knowing where he stands on the matter, you could end up waiting a lot longer than you might have originally anticipated.

And, I hesitate to even mention this, as it seems to be more of a nit-picky detail these days, but traditionally an engagement is supposed to be the period in which you plan your wedding. When someone proposes, it will usually mean a wedding will take place shortly thereafter (usually within a year or two). That is the traditional purpose of a proposal and engagement period. These days, however, it seems more and more people are treating engagement as a way of expressing a stage in their relationship that they consider more serious than just "dating", but don't want to jump into planning a wedding just yet. I can definitely understand wanting to make your relationship sound just as serious as it feels - but, in reality, it's more or less exactly where you were before the proposal, only now it has a different name and you wear a ring (sometimes). Don't get me wrong, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that - but I thought it might be worth mentioning.

I'm sorry if it sounds like I'm trying to rain on your parade - I'm honestly just trying to give you as realistic an answer as I can. I hope nothing I said has upset you, as that wasn't my intention.

oh we are both currently in school with only a couple years left for each of us. Maybe what I'm looking for is more of a promise ring kinda thing then. I just heard that people will get engaged for the reason you stated above in that they want to show their relationship is at another level.

Relationships aren't my forte in terms of the stages so I really appreciate the advice :)

- I would say when to propose is when it feels right. Like Narecu said, discussing marriage and how both of you feel about the relationship is a must before the proposal happens. My fiance proposed to me 6 months into our relationship. We spent a lot of time together and we had all of the serious discussions, including our interest in marriage. It was clear both of us were on the same page. The only reason we don't have a marriage date is because money is tight right now.

I consider engagement as an intent to marry. The promise ring concept is a bit unnecessary, as it's just an engagement to get engaged. It's just... odd. But, if promise rings are something you two can agree on, then it's a good idea.

In my opinion proposals should only happen when both parties have openly and honestly discussed marriage at length. Those discussions should include: the possibility of children, financial handling, all the ugly issues that can split a couple up needs to be discussed. You'll come across them, and while it's common for people to change their minds as they pass through their lives, you need to be completely aware of what the other person is thinking now. Those discussions need to be updated consistently as you pass through life together.

I would hold off though on offering a proposal if you're thinking about if because that seems like the 'next level' of proof in your relationship. There is no 'next level'. Some couples never marry, but they live full lives as their relationship naturally ebbs and flows and they grow and die together.

When these questions have the same answer from both of you: How many children: At what ages will you be when you want to start trying for said children? How will discipline be handled? What are your plans for finances? If one of you decides to be a stay at home parent, what happens if the working parent can no longer work? What is your ideal home? Where is your ideal home? What does your typical budget look like? What is the routine for household chores/maintenance?

All these things seem really obvious, but I've seen so many people divorce due to them having no idea of the other person's expectations on these kinds of things. Also compromise. You won't agree on everything. But you need to be able to find a common ground, and be willing to give up some things you may really want.

Unfortunately, there is no rulebook where it's listed "If a couple has been dating for blank amount of time, blank should propose."

As a person who was in your place, wondering when and if they were going to propose soon, what is wrong with them, is there something wrong with me?, I would like to give you some advice.

You should only propose to another person or expect a proposal after you have both discussed several things: Have we discussed getting married to one another? When do I want to be married? Because only then can you know when it's coming. And only then will you know when you need see your relationship moving towards this step before you need to try again with someone else. My biggest piece of advice though? DO NOT TELL YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER ABOUT YOUR TIMELINE, ie. I want to be getting engaged on our third year. This will only feel like an ultimatum and either push them towards a break-up or force a proposal that's not genuine or heartfelt. And I can tell you from experience, both of these things will cause you nothing but heartache. You'll always wonder if it wasn't meant to be but you wrecked it. And you'll always wonder if they really meant it or they just didn't want you to leave. WHICH IS NOT WHAT AN ENGAGEMENT SHOULD FEEL LIKE.

And the obvious things: Do I want children? If so, how many? How will we discipline them? Who will work and who will raise them? How will religion factor into our lives and/or our children's lives? What do I want to accomplish before I'll consider getting marriage and/or having children? Do we have the finances to get married? Do we have debt we're comfortable with legally sharing? I could go on but you can easily Google "what questions should we ask before getting engaged" and see a premarital counselor to suss such things out.

In my personal opinion though, if you're under the age of 30, it's going to take at least two years to figure all of those issues out. Just because we're not as experienced in adult life and decisions. For most people over 30 though, they've had more experience in dating and marriage and can figure these issues out in at least a year of dating. But that's just my opinion. :)

Every person has a different case. I know people who've waited 7 years and other who waited 1.

I am going on in year four and although Im ready for it im guessing my boyfriend isnt. It just takes time and you two are kinda just starting out, no rush! ^-^ Itll happen when its right! <3

So actually yesterday my boyfriend asked my father for his blessings in which thankfully my dad said yes. I have been with Adrian for a little over two and a half years. We have had this engagement planned for over six months already because we knew we would have to save up for a ring, talk to our parents, think about the wedding, see how it fits our lives right now .etc .etc. In our relationship we are super open and talk about everything so the talk about getting married is pretty old now. Adrian and I went the custom engagement ring route in which I got to tell him things I like and then left the actual design up to him and the ring maker. So while I know the details of the ring I have no idea what it actually looks like nor do I know when he is going to propose. I did have to tell him though that he had to at least attempt to get a blessing from my dad. We were actually worried he would say no which is why we got the ring made early so Adrian could show him the ring to prove we were serious. Turns out my dad didn't even need to see it and said yes so yay! I don't think there is a right time for an engagement unless it has been talked about like in extreme lengths and details. Even though I know the proposal is coming soon at least I have zero doubts about how he feels about it and how I feel about it.The out of the blue proposals although romantic are actually in my opinion super stressful because if you don't want to marry him you have to turn them down which is awkward and hurtful. Currently I am 21 and Adrian is 22 so we are young but we have lived together for almost 2 years although at my parents since NY is crazy expensive. We are planning to have a graduation/engagement party this may to give people a whole year to prep for the wedding. May 5th of 2017! Both sides of our immediate families are well aware of our intentions and are supportive. My advice is have a serious heart to heart with your partner about what you like and dislike about the current situation. Aim to make slight changes for the better and eventually the conversations hit a point where you two sync 100% and that is when you are ready. Though I do agree that people under 30 should at least have known each other 2 years doesn't have to be dating 2 years but that is the time you need to get to know a person. Also live with the person just a little like go away for a week and see if you can tolerate them. It is so different when you are with a person almost 24/7.

Nick and I are together 24/7 practically. Our living situation is complicated going back and forth between our places, but for 9 months, we've been "living" together. We haven't gotten sick of each other either. XD

Also, congrats on your future engagement and wedding :)

It is really a different experience when you do the 24/7 thing. Then as a couple you build routines that you just stick to and enjoy. Thank you for the congrats. In terms of degrees and such, I will be finishing my undergrad this may and then taking a year off while Adrian has just applied to PhD programs and we are hoping he gets in. We planned to get married prior to me entering a PhD program so our last names would be the same. If that matters to you then do it. I personally am not a fan of my last name so I am excited to get it changed. The year between my schooling is basically the year I am using to plan the wedding/work full time so I can help pay for it. I couldn't imagine planning a wedding while going to school. Think about things like that and what type of wedding you two would want. See if it is on the same page. We like small non-traditional style weddings but due to our families the wedding may not be that small, but at least we can keep the non-traditional style. Also make sure everyone is on good terms which each other among the families because that is a huge part of it as well.

Sadly his parents are going through a divorce right now, so it's probably not the best time to talk about any of this. I don't know how to go about anything. I don't know if he is saying he wants to get a place with me just to please me or if he means it. I don't understand relationships...

If you don't mind me asking how old are you two? I have been wanting to leave the house since I was 18 but finances stood in my way. Now I am 21 and still living at home but the boyfriend and I pay rent. If we could afford an apartment on our own we would do it but New York is expensive. For an actual apartment even if it is a studio we are looking at about a grand a month. The states in which Adrian applied for grad school if he gets in 750 a month gets us a 2 bedroom apartment. It is a big difference a grand could get us a house. We have been living here together for almost 2 years at my Mom's house and it is stressful. We definitely can't wait to get the hell out, maybe that is how he feels too?

oh I'm 20 and he is 21

Both of us are in university and are pursuing careers that are lucrative economically. He's going for an electrical engineering degree and I'm going for graphic design. Ok mine isn't so lucrative...

Since I don't know you both personally I would still advise that you stick it out another year before coming to a decision. Hopefully in that extra year you two actually talk about it. That is a super important piece prior to actually getting engaged.

I'll state in advance that this is ONLY my opinion.

Personally I'm not getting engaged/married until the 5th year. I think after 3 years is reasonable, or 2 years if you want to push it. I have known couples who got married after 1 year and it worked out just fine, but I think that's way too soon.

I've been living with my boyfriend for three years, dating for 3.5. At this point we've had lots of practice handling our finances and really dealing with the others annoying habits. We've gone through the stress of moving. We've handled the stress of school, unemployment and changing jobs. We've seen how different work schedules effect our relationship. We've handled grumpy days and down weeks and months of depression. We've watched each other change and grow- we are still in love, but neither of us is in love with exactly same person we were at the start. The passage of time itself is a measure that can't be rushed.

Even still, after 3.5 years together, I learned something new and shocking about my boyfriend last month, that he had been omitting from me the entire time. It wasn't the kind of thing that made me instantly want to leave him, but I did need to give our relationship a serious rethink. In my case it turned out that the "secret" was pretty easy to accommodate and, for me, is actually a plus in a partner. My overall point is that even at 3 years, you might not really know everything you need to about someone.

Waiting is by no means a guarantee- your boyfriend might not have any such secret, or maybe if you get married at year 5 he won't tell you until year 7. I just think waiting a bit is kind of a win-win- you don't lose anything by waiting.

I like the title of husband/wife but I don't really view the commitment as being all that different. If two unmarried people maintain a lifelong relationship, are they any less committed than two married people who do the same? That said, I think it's totally legit to want to be married and to value marriage.

My boyfriend and I wear wedding-style bands, mostly because we enjoy being sentimental about the symbol, and at this point untangling our civil union would be divorce-level in complexity.

I have a close friend who got engaged at the one year mark but is waiting a few years to get married. On one hand I like that she's technically waiting to get married, but with the lack of seriousness it does feel a bit... like she's not content with just having a strong relationship, she needs it to be publicly acknowledged. Either way it's her relationship, and really none of my business. :P

Oh, and edit about WEDDINGS: Since beginning to think about potentially getting married in 1.5 years, I've been looking into the costs for savings purposes. The size of your wedding can really bring the cost up. =/ My boyfriend and I have huge families and friend groups, so if we wanted to provide food for a 150 person wedding at as little as $20 per person, that's $3,000 on food alone. I can't imagine spending 3,000 on one day unless I'm buying a car. I think the maximum I'd want to spend on a wedding is around $2,000 but I have a feeling it'll be more.

Hey, so this is going off topic, but I just wanted to reply to your edit about weddings:

My husband and I only dated for two years before he asked me to marry him. We've been together for over five years. We love each other very, very much and since we've been together never had one fight. ^_^