Of course, the divorce has to happen at a VERY CONVENIENT time.

I already know this holiday season is going to be very rough for my fiance. He loves his parents and values family. I'm planning to go out of the area for a few days to spend Thanksgiving with my aunt and sister. He can't come with me, because my aunt is not ready to meet him. So, I don't know how to feel. Would I be abandoning him if I leave or am I alright? I don't know the difference between not caring enough and caring too much. Also, I don't value family at all, so I can't empathize with him.

Plus, his grandma is moving to a nursing home out of state next week. It's like so much is happening at once. I just want the year to be over and not deal with yet another broken family.

That's really rough, I feel for the guy. My folks split a few years ago, and holidays just haven't been the same since.

I don't want to tell you to not see your family, but right now, I honestly think he needs you more. The holidays are going to be extremely hard for him, and your support will mean more than you can imagine.

Also, have you discussed with your aunt why she feels like she isn't ready to meet him? It seems a little harsh, given all that's happened, that he isn't welcome there. I know it'd be super awkward for him to go uninvited, so I think if your only options are to go without him, or not go at all, it would be best for him if you don't go.

And you say you don't value family, and I can understand why you'd feel that way - but consider maybe, given that you two plan to marry, that he is your new family now. You care about him, so understand that he's hurting and that he needs you. You don't have to personally relate to the hurt - just recognize it and be there for him. Do what you can, even if it doesn't feel like you can do much. I promise you, it will make a difference.

- Thank you for your response. I'm sorry you had to go through your parents divorcing too.

The situation hit him yesterday, and he was really upset last night. I do think I need to stay with him throughout the holidays. He told me he wants me around but would let me go to my aunt's. But, I would feel extremely guilty if I left him behind at this point.

I always feel reluctant to call my aunt, because she likes to spew her religion all over the place. I don't mind that she's religious, but I don't like to hear that I'm going to hell if I don't accept Christ. I let my sister handle all communications with her.

My aunt has been going through a rough year. Her husband of 40 years passed away early this year and she is struggling. I think she only wants me and my sister to visit, because she specifically wants to only be around family members and close friends this holiday season. So, I can understand her stance.

The whole new family concept is something I can't understand right now. I want to, but I need a lot of time and/or counseling before I can. However, I do recognize my fiance is the most important person to me, and I would do anything to help him.

Thank you for reminding me that the littlest help can make all the difference. I feel more confident now. :)