Recently my boyfriend kind of blew up on skype at myself and our two roommates; here I'll even post what he sent all of us:

I really... really don't know what to do. And I feel like everything is my fault. Overall this is just one sided from his point of view. I feel like he is blaming me for everything that has happened in a negative aspect.

• First of all: I work two jobs in retail and then part time Graphic Designer. He has one under the table job that isn't entirely stable --- how am I the dependent one?

• Honestly: Yes. I do not focus on myself. I have a really, really hard time focusing on what is best for me.

• Yes, I have transferred schools like three times; but the schools I have attended: I wasn't happy with them. I didn't like the curriculum. I am an individual who needs to do online schooling because it helps with my focus. Being in a classroom environment is very stressful and distracting.

• My brother has a family to look after. He has a wife and an almost two year old baby. My brother, being a year younger than I am (21) ; his wife 19, was focusing on what would best for him and his family. So I do not blame him for anything. My boyfriend had this mindset that he was guaranteed a job ... but previously never put forth the effort for other jobs he could have taken. Or he's incredibly picky and wont take a minimum wage job... but its okay for me to take on a minimum wage job :/

• No I don't do things right away ¬¬ and I know this. But I am not the only one who's just as much of a procrastinator. My boyfriend recently got kicked out of school because of his grades. The school he was attending is also an incredibly expensive, fast-paced school. He would wait until the very last minute to turn in half-assed assignments .-.' He'd rather be playing games online than doing schoolwork (but who wouldn't? < not the point lol)

• Emotionally, I am insecure. Yes. I acknowledge this. I don't... I really don't know how to break it. Part of it, is that I don't trust myself entirely. I have very little confidence in myself. He recently went out with one of our roommates ( married couple, he went out with friends' wife) This was incredibly awkward and uncomfortable to me. The thing is: I trust my roommate. I know she wouldn't do anything that would harm our friendship, ect. I trust my boyfriend - and I know he wouldn't do anything like that. But still, it bothered me so, so much - that I grew so angry, that I didn't thank him for the dinner he brought home, and I didn't thank him for the chocolate he bought me. I was so upset with him.

• We lack communication. I know this is very, very important when it comes to a relationship. We have been together for four years. I'm afraid to talk to him - he's got a temper the size of jupiter. He's also got this habit of cutting me off mid sentence without letting me continue. So I eventually just gave up trying to voice my thoughts. But I know we need to talk. I want us to get through this. I want that so, so bad. but I don't know what to do.... Its bothering me and its affecting my job and my personality. I love him, so, so much even if he had the audacity to ask me if I knew what love meant? I know what it means.

Why is everything my fault? What do I do?

- First of all, it's not all your fault. Relationships work both ways. If a non-abusive relationship fails, it's usually both peoples' faults. And, the fact you're willing to admit your flaws and mistakes means you're aware of part of the problem and can attempt to fix it.

As for your boyfriend, I'm not sure what to think of him. Either he is frustrated with his job and schooling situation and taking out his anger on you and the roommates or he is manipulative and trying to make you feel terrible.

I say the best thing to do is for everyone to talk together in person. Everyone can say what they're feeling and why they're frustrated. The rule is to let everyone speak and let them finish. No interruptions. Before the meeting, everyone makes an individual list on what they would like to see happen with themselves and with each other. Then, everyone reveals their list at the meeting. Compromise is key when setting the next part up... Make one list for everyone to follow. If someone is not willing to compromise, then don't put any plans into effect until they are willing to compromise. Everyone has to do their part and make sure the plans are followed through. If your boyfriend isn't willing to do the meeting and continues to just blame you for his misery, then you have to start reevaluating the relationship.

One thing I've learned is to never change yourself for someone else. This is much harder with someone who is manipulative and you're in love with them. But, use your roommates and friends as a support system. They can help you learn to start taking care of yourself first.

Hopefully, this is helpful. ;~;

Okay I hope this isnt rude in anyway. But I feel like hes putting all the blame on you and I don't even have to read your side of the story (which I did though) to tell that he's at fault himself with some things. But he doesn't want to admit to the things he is failing/lacking. I find his statement very hurtful and if I was his girlfriend I would have to leave him. He isnt happy with himself and mentions a few times how you need to find someone else and that you deserve better.... If he really didnt want to lose you he would NEVER say those things. He sounds emotionally manipulative. I feel like this is deja vu. He is basically wanting you to do all the work into fixing this and make you feel like garbage.

Its not anyone's fault he couldn't get a certain job but himself. Why do you need to do things immediately for him? Why is he blaiming everyone but himself? Is he freaking perfect?

I don't really like this one bit. I feel like he was mean.... I hope you figure out a way to settle this by having a deep convo with him or maybe find someone who can treat you better. I know it might be hard to let go, but sometimes it is best. Good luck love! ;-; ❤

This blow up is not solely your fault, and it's not solely his. There's a lot whirling around here that is far too much for me to lay out but...

I would suggest getting yourself into therapy. If you can't afford it look at funding options, local groups, etc. There are options. Your emotional insecurity needs to be addressed. I'm not suggesting this as a 'do it for him' thing. That's not what this is. It's a thing you need to do for you. Once you have that self-assurance and confidence your perspectives will change and it will sincerely benefit you.

This alone would make me seriously reconsider the relationship. Are you happy that way? Do you really need a guy that, based on what you wrote, sounds like he couldn't care less about your thoughts or opinion?

And his text, well to me it looks like he's dissatisfied with himself for whatever reason but instead of blaming himself as well he just blames everyone else and with your emotional insecurity you are the best victim to pick on especially since you are too afraid to voice your opinion in front of him. If I were you I'd let him go and move on without.

Judging from both sides of this story, I'd say you need to let this one go. He sounds like someone who can't accept his own faults, and if you're afraid to talk to him seriously because of his temper... like said, that alone would make me reconsider also. You should not be afraid of communicating with your partner.

Your boyfriend also sounds like he has some stuff he needs to work through, and honestly being together might be doing you both more harm than good.

I would probably spend some time apart working on yourselves before/if you get back together, or involved with someone else.

Dump his ass. He sounds like a chore to be around.

If I have to be completely honest, and I'm sure you probably don't want to hear it, but it sounds like you ought to consider ending the relationship.

Lemme tell you a little bit about my ex and I, because there are a lot of similarities. (It's a little long sorry lol.)

The reason why I included my story is because maybe it'll help you? You should feel like you can be yourself with him. You might say that you are being yourself, but are you truly? Four years is a long time. Ending a long-term relationship is not easy, but you need to think about yourself. You need to consider your own happiness. Your boyfriend is not happy with his life and his relationship with you, but he is putting all the blame on you. A relationship takes two people, but he's making it one-sided.

You need to take time and think about your relationship with him. One of my biggest regrets is not doing that during my relationship with my ex. Can you imagine spending another four years with him? Can you imagine marriage with him? Are you currently happy, and will you continue to be happy? You should never feel like you have to hold back talking to your boyfriend. You shouldn't be afraid to talk to him due to his temper.

If you don't want to end things with your boyfriend, then you definitely need to talk to him. Don't hold back; be honest with him and don't let him cut you off. If you want to work things out, both of you have to be on board and try to do so. Good luck with everything and if you ever need to talk, I'm hear to listen!

From what I've read, it sounds like he has some serious issues he needs to work through before he can handle a relationship. His temper and inability to be disagreed with is a major red flag for a controlling, manipulative person. I know you want to stay and work things out, but the truth is that it's better for both of you if you just walk away. Staying in that kind of a relationship just enables his behavior and makes it worse. If you walk away, he may be inspired to get help and will be better off (and happier) if he does. Even if he doesn't, you will be happier and that's the most important thing for you right now.

His problems are his fault, not yours. It is his responsibility to tell you if something is bothering him. Calling you out in front of other people online is the act of a child, not a mature adult. It's certainly not how a decent boyfriend acts toward his long-time girlfriend, regardless of his feelings.