I met this guy back in the end of April at a mutual friend's party. We really hit it off and we started seeing each other. He is 9 years older than I (I'm 27 and he is 36). Neither of us cared about the age difference. I liked him because he was handsome and seemed really nice. He has a full time job as a HAVAC tech and his own house so it seemed like he had his stuff together. He rarely returned my messages but I understood because it was summertime and he was working 15+ hour days. We would still get together but he never took me out on dates. We would usually just watch movies at his house and hook up. Before him, I hated sex. I hated being touched and it always causes me so much pain. But he never hurt me and I really liked being with him. The But things turned really bad in mid September when he asked me come over (he lives an hour away) and he stood me up. I sat in his driveway for almost two hours. I kept messaging him and he wouldn't respond. I finally left and he finally messaged me back 30 minutes after I left. I was so heartbroken because it was clear he didn't respect me. A few days later we agreed to take a step back from the physical relationship and date. A few days later, he sent me a message saying he was in the ER about to have emergency surgery to have his appendix removed. The next day I went down and picked him up from the hospital and I took care of him for over 24 hours. After dinner that day, he asked if I was going to spend the night again and I told him I would do whatever he wanted me to do. He told me he wanted me to go home after the movie. I was pretty hurt but I said okay. After the movie, he wanted to watch another but it was getting late so I told him I needed to go. And then asked him what we were. He gave me a smartass answer and I said "no. Are you my boyfriend or am I just a piece of ass to you?" His answer "I never considered you my my girlfriend. I'm a single man for life but we can have sex whenever". It completely broke my heart and as I was leaving, he said "don't worry, you'll find yourself a nice, rich husband." I said "I doubt that. It's slim pickings out there". I then bawled my eyes out in my car. I called my best friend and she invited me to move in with her down in Virginia Beach when I graduate in May. I thought about it for a few days and agreed.

Two weeks later, he messaged me saying he missed me. I asked him why and he said "because you're one of the few people who is really good to me". I told him I missed him too despite the lack of respect and how he used me. He said he felt used too and I asked how. He didn't respond. After several hours I got pissed. I sent him a message saying I was done with him. I wasn't going to let him keep breaking my heart. He replied he was done too because he was tired of being the bad guy. He was the one who made himself the bad guy. I then asked him if it ever occurred to him that I just wanted to be with him. He said "not to sound full of mys of but I love me more." I said "I realized that. And that's why you're alone. People realize you're full of shit."

That was the last time I talked to him. The problem is I keep having dreams about him. I miss the idea of him. And he keeps looking at my public snapchats. I don't understand any of this. For as bad as he treated me, I still want to be with him. And why does he keep looking at my stuff if he didn't care enough about me? And to make matters worse, my best friend is thinking of moving back to Delaware, thus no Virginia Beach move. I honestly don't know what to do anymore. I don't want to keep being hurt but I'm also tired of being alone all the time. And I'm tired of these dreams about him.

Anyway, I'm sorry about the long post. I can't talk to my friends about it anymore because they all hate him and I think they are tired of hearing about it.

First of all, no person should ever have to put up with a person like that. You deserve better, you are to nice of a person for him. It sounds like he just liked taking advantage of your affection for him. He sounds super rude. I'm sorry that there might not be a move for you, at times it may feel like going far away is the only way to escape the feelings we have and the bad memories. But we have to heal ourselves on the inside, because even being far away, memories still stay with us. Don't contact him, even though he may be looking at your snapchats he might be doing so because he's trying to see if you are unhappy without him. He might try to contact you again through the app. Please don't give in. You don't need a guy like him, he is a hurtful person. And if he can't put his pride and selfishness aside, then you should put him aside. Cut him off! Eventually your wounds will fade and you will meet better people, people who will make you happier than he ever was able too! Trust me, getting over people that we've loved is hard, but it's necessary if they are being inconsiderate of your feelings, aren't giving you straight answers, or are just taking advantage of you. You can and you will get over him! You deserve more than him! Better things will come, don't be sad and don't fret over him :) sMail me if you'd like, I'm free to chat.

Thanks for the reply. I haven't contacted him since I told him how I felt. He is a real ass. Just sometimes I wish he wasn't. I'm not moving to Virginia Beach to get away from him per say but to get a fresh start. It's really hard to meet people in Delaware because it seems like we're all related or couples have been together since they were 15. It's just some days are harder than others and I usually find myself missing him at night before bed. Thanks again

I get you. Sometimes we wish the people we loved, didn't have as many problems as they did. We can't fix them though, they have to fix themselves. And some never will. Stay strong and yes moving away does give you a fresh start. Pray for sweet dreams and good luck!, I hope for the best for you.

- Friends with benefits nearly always end badly. I understand what you're going through... I've been there before. The best thing to do is block him from everything and erase any contact info. The dreams and thought will bother you for a while. But, distract yourself with your work, friends, and hobbies, and you'll start forgetting about him. There's good men out there... you just have to be patient, as hard as that is.

I highly doubt he will ever fix himself and that's on him. Thanks again

Thankfully I'm in school full time and I have a busy work schedule. It usually just bothers me late at night when I'm winding down. I'll be glad to forget about him. Thanks for the reply

- You're welcome. And, yay for a busy schedule right now!

At night, if you start thinking about him, do your best to think about something that makes you happy. It is tough at first, but becomes a lot easier. You have the right attitude of wanting to forget him, so I'm sure the thoughts will go away faster!

I've been doing better the past few days. Thank goodness for keeping busy.

- Yay, that's good to hear!

I think this guy sounds like a narcissist. A big 'pass' in my book. :| I think you continued to think about because you're a normal person who feels attached to someone you're in a relationship with. And it was a relationship whether he admits it or not... There are better guys out there! Best of luck!