In the last few years we have had so many losses I don't know how we have managed to keep strong.

First let me start off by explaining that i'm 27 years old. I have a huge extended family, barely knowing most of them. All I ever had growing up was my mom, grandma (my moms mom) and my aunt (my moms sister). My mom became ill when I was about 12 and was bed ridden when I was about 14. She moved in with my my grandma so that she could help get care. My whole teen and young adult life consisted of caring for her every need. It was really hard and I had to drop out of high school to do so. When I was 24 my mom passed away, she was sick for a very long time and suffering immensely. It was devastating, but I still had my grandmother and aunt. Less than a month later my grandmother passed away. My aunt ended up having a mental breakdown and for awhile avoided me at all costs. As much as it hurt and as much as I needed her, I understand and I don't hold it against her. We all handle grief differently. We are close now. During this time I was dating a man who is now my husband. Two months after my grandmother passed away his step dad, who had been apart of his life since he was very young, passed away unexpectedly. About a month ago, his real dad, who we had planned on visiting so that he could meet our daughter his only grandchild, also passed away. It has left a forever loose end for my husband. And this morning he received a call informing him that his grandfather (his fathers father) died last night. The most frustrating part of this is that for a man in his mid 80s he was a very healthy, he had slipped on the stairs and broke his neck. He was the only person who hadn't been sick.

I just don't understand why this has to happen. We both have very little and yet it seems we have enough to lose more. Mind you these losses of our loved ones have been only part of our troubles. Despite the fact we are dedicated hard workers we always seem to have trouble with our living situation, not the part of being able to afford it mind you but being able to keep it. Twice (we are currently in this situation) we have have lived in a place that we could afford but has been snatched from us (the first time the landlord wasn't paying what he needed and the building was repossessed and all the tenants in the apartments had to leave) and now currently we have been looking for a new home for months because a 'friend' of ours fucked us over. We have been renting a house from his grandfather, but since our 'friend' recently picked up a no good trash heap for a girlfriend he decided he wanted to live here, and instead of talking to us like an adult he immediately set to finding ways of getting kicked out. Now mind you this has failed him and our landlord asked us to leave yes but didn't kick us out, we have as much time as we need to find a place. This has not stopped his grandson from harassing us every chance he gets to try and drive us away sooner (he has stated himself that he doesn't care if we ended up homeless even with our 20 month old daughter who he was there for her birth). He has come to the house and verbally and on one occasion physically attacked me among many, many, MANY other underhanded and sleazy things. He only does these things to appease his girlfriend. She started all this because she found out that there was a house in his family that he could have access to if it were vacant. Never mind what that means for the family already living there.

Do you know how hard it is for a family to find a 2 bedroom apartment? Surprisingly a lot harder than I thought. I work part time and he works full-time, we have been turned down for apartments that fell far below our budget. Why? Because we both owe money for school loans (about 5k both of our debts combined). That's our only debts and yet somehow that is enough debt for people to tell us we aren't allowed to live like humans. I mean neither one of us have ever been arrested. In fact we BOTH have served in the military (he was in the marines and I was in the army, which I joined at 17 because I had to financially support my mom and grandmother)and I have been deployed on 5 different occasions.

We try to be good people, we help others as often as we are able, and when we are able to we host holidays for those that have no where to go. We aren't perfect of course, but regardless we've done nothing to deserve this string of bad luck and the malicious cruelty of our back stabbing friend and his stranger girlfriend.

Anyways this post is long winded, for those who have made it this far I both thank you and apologize. I just really needed to vent. I try very hard to stay strong, since I can not breakdown as my daughter does not deserve to see her mom a wreck. Nonetheless these events start to wear a person down.