do you guys ever just get so cheesed about something but never end up dealing with the problem directly so your anger just festers? are you, in fact, holding a grudge right now against smth? do tell. let's vent. i really need to vent.

i need to preface this by saying i swear to god i'm not as stingy about money as it may seem- this is just the sum of a number of events of this kind. i've been seeing this guy D for 5 months. we're not technically in a relationship, and neither of us wants to be, but it's enough of a thing that we now share a lot of friends, and that i spent a weekend with him and his family at their cottage this summer, and etc. it's nice: we both get along really well and spend a lot of time together, but we also both see other ppl on the side.

well, my birthday was last month and it was the first birthday that i'd be celebrating without my family. me and D planned a week in advance to go out with another couple the night before, then wake up and go out for bday breakfast and then go hiking. we had a good night and our friend was rly nice and bought a pitcher for our table, but otherwise we all covered our own drinks. bday breakfast comes along and D and I walk downtown to this great all-day breakfast joint with the best shakes. well, breakfast is great and we're both now just finishing up and chatting abt our plans - the waitress comes along and she's like "oh, do you guys want the bill?" and i'm like "aww are you gonna buy me breakfast D?" half-jokingly. and he looks at me and looks back at the waitress and says, "no, that's going to be two bills". well, i felt kinda weird about that bc: a) i felt bad that i'd asked so directly, but b) kinda hurt that he didn't even offer (especially considering he doesn't support himself and that his parents are loaded and spoil the shit out of him and he had several days notice to save like, $16 or whatever), and also c) petty that it bothered me. but i didn't say anything because what is there to say?

anyways, fast forward to us driving out to go hiking and i can't remember why but we ended up stopping at the mall. i just remember us going to the food court because i wanted a smoothie. well, d decided he wanted to get a smoothie too but realized while the smoothie was being made that he didn't have any cash on him and he really didn't want to put it on his credit card. so, obviously i grab it for him and tell him not to worry about it bc it's like $3, that it doesn't matter. and it normally wouldn't bc it's just one of those little favours that friends do for each other that kinda goes around in an endless circle, except that today it's my bday and i'm still kinda like ... about the breakfast thing.

tl;dr = specifically, i'm just pissed that he didn't even offer to buy me breakfast but made me pay for his own food on my birthday. but, in general.. i mean, this guy actually calls himself my "food-slut" and i feel like it's a bit of a running joke at this point :/. like, another time, we went through the mcdonalds drive thru with him and his friend, and we were also picking up fries for his housemate. i get a large fries or whatever and get my change together but the guys are like "oh no.. i don't have any cash" at the paying station. we sit waiting awkwardly at the pay station for someone to offer to use their debit or credit to cover our food, bc i really don't wanna be the one to do it this time. D's saying smth like "i have no money on my debit and i'm close to the limit on my credit" and i mean, i'm just like okay fine whatever i'm not gonna demand his friend pay for me so i'll just offer to cover all of us. we all forget about it and no one ever pays me back even tho it was over $20 and for two people, his friends, i don't know that well. anyway, literally there are a million stories like this for real, and i just feel upset at myself kinda for being a doormat and caving into this. but like, his parents are loaded? he has enough money to go out pretty much every night? in every other respect he's fabulous, but jeez this money thing is just giving me bad vibes.

in a really shitty way, i guess i probably will never be dealing with this directly. not only is it just smth i feel really uncomfortable bringing up in person (hence bitching about it behind his back to ppl on the internet), i'm kinda more serious with someone else and i feel like if this money thing turns sticky it wouldn't hurt too bad to cut D out of my life... it just sucks because we make a good team and we have a lot of fun together and we now have a lot of the same friends.

vent with me about your grudges!!!!!

I get really fucking annoyed at my coworkers sometimes. I work the front desk at an assisted living place. I have a computer where I can see who is paging for help and when their page has repeated a certain number of times (usually 5 or 6) I will call out over the walkie for someone to go see them. Usually it doesn't get that bad, and care staff get to them before the second or third page, but sometimes, ohhhhh sometimes I just want to hit the wall. I understand that some residents are extremely annoying, that some of them page a whole hell of a lot, but it's your fucking job to get your ass in to their room, whether you want to or not because IT'S YOUR FUCKING JOB. If you don't like it, find a new one and good luck with that. But you're here NOW and you need to do your job NOW. And MY JOB is to call out when you're not doing YOUR JOB. You do NOT yell at me for it! Fucking lazy ass bitches.

Conversely though, some of the residents need to calm their fucking panties. I understand alzheimer's and dementia. And I sympathize with them and their families and care staff. I really do, honest. But some people, after you've known them a while, you realize that they're honestly just assholes and blaming everything on a disease that hasn't progressed that far or doesn't have those symptoms for them. They just bitch and moan and it really has no basis in medical issues - it's just them being annoying fuckheads. The lady that mumbles under her breath and calls me a fucking bitch because I don't get up right this second to open her door, or bitches me out when I don't open her door because I don't know that's what she wants, or the guy that stands and stares at me and when I ask if I can help with anything (loudly enough, believe me) he just walks off, oh I could go on and on. My point is that I understand the diseases they have and I can tell when it's not the disease talking, when it's just them being them, and it's really fucking annoying.

I could also vent about the friend who seems to use me just for my car. And my money, because I'm too nice and helpful and she's honestly too lazy and spends her own money on shit she doesn't need.

Or the friends who go places with me, in my car, and don't bother to even offer gas money...or notice the jar I put in my car that says 'GAS MONEY' in giant fucking letters.

Hmmm...and let's mention corporate, shall we? Who told us months ago that we were getting new phones and a new paging system? Around 6 months ago now? And we still haven't gotten it and the old system is dying more and more every day and they STILL bitch and wonder why calls don't go through sometimes, etc. Oh! There's also the fact that I was supposed to get a raise after 8 months and that's come and gone and still no raise. A raise I badly need because I'm fucking broke all the time.

And let's not forget the self-entitled assholes who demand that they're first, best, and most deserving of everything they want right this fucking second. How many of those fuckholes I have to deal with every day in person and on the phone makes me physically ill. This includes of course, the complete wastes of oxygen that are the people that stand outside staring right the fuck at me while I'm waving them in while ringing the doorbell repeatedly. I know damn well they can see me. I had a coworker go out and stand there and she could see me, I could see her, but nooooo, those fuckheads can't. I guess they expect me to open the goddamn door for them like they're invalids when they are certainly not.

Oh! Other drivers! Can't forget these idiots. Wouldn't be a rant thread without them. TURNING INDICATORS. One flick up or down. REALLY NOT THAT DIFFICULT. And sooo useful! Isn't it nice when I don't almost run your ass over because I didn't know you were turning?! That little light there lets me know that so both our cars don't get fucked up! Isn't that AWESOME?! Ohhhhh and texting! You do NOT have the right to flick me off when I almost side swipe your car because YOUR DUMBASS swerved into MY LANE when YOU were fucking TEXTING! Just don't goddamn do it! If it's that important of a message PULL THE FUCK OVER and answer it!

And let's talk about the idiots that decided it would be a good idea to COMPLETELY SHUT DOWN AN ENTIRE ROAD on football weekends, only letting traffic go one way from the stadium out. Do you fucking numbnuts asshats not realize that some people work down that road and would kind of like to get to work on time?! Do you not know that it adds another goddamned 20 minutes to the drive to go around your little roadblocks? And Mr.Officer, couldn't you have let me through when I literally point out the building where I work and ask if I couldn't drive around the roadblock the 150ft it would take to get there?! IDIOTS THE LOT!!

Let's see...oh yes! Kitchen staff, a certain one in general. Yes, I'm vegetarian. NO, this does not mean I find it in the least bit amusing when every time you cook a dish with meat, you keep stopping by and making comments about how good it smells and how much I'm missing. I'm NOT missing anything when I don't like it in the first place and it does NOT smell good to me, in fact the smell's making me a little ill, but I don't say anything because I'm not an ASSHOLE like you are!

I think I'll stop for now because I'm totally blowing up this board. I'm sure there are more, but my fingers hurt from typing. I'm not really this angry of a person, I promise...most of the time.

I don't usually hold a grudge, but the relationship between myself, hubby and his mother frequently pisses me off and makes me fester. It always ends up with me having to give in to keep the peace, and I'm pretty tired of it now. What makes it worse is knowing that it's not going to change.

My hubby expects me to give up things that are really important to me just so his precious mother isn't upset. For example Mother's Day. She fully expects the day to be all about her, with hubby spending the day with her. I think this is such bullshit, because I am a mother. We have two children together, and I'm not allowed to have this day being fussed over by him or the kids. We have to worship her for some reason.

I am not against him acknowledging his mother on that day but to me, I am the one who runs around after him taking care of him and the kids all year long; so why does she get the praise, adoration, and day of pampering?

When it was Our first child's birthdays, SHE would plan the parties without ever talking to me, then hubby would say I had to abandon what I had planned because of the effort she had put in to planning it, that she really wants to do this, and that he doesn't want her to feel bad. So what... It's okay to ruin my plans? I'm not allowed to be involved in celebrating my own child's birthdays? It's okay for ME to feel bad then?

Same thing happens on Father's Day. She just tells us what we are doing with them. It really irks me that apparently only her feelings matter here, right or wrong. It feels even shittier that I am expected to be quiet and give in all the time, because me digging my heels in is apparently ME being unreasonable.

Again on Christmas, it is a 'given' that we have to spend Christmas Day with her because life would come to a halt if her poor feelings were second for once.

I just want to yell and say why are her feelings more important than mine? Why do I always have to give up things to keep the peace? Why can't we have our own fucking life? He has three brothers, and they are all just like why wouldn't you be coming to mum's? Like it is completely absurd to think of me as someone important or worthy of appreciation.