Have you ever cheated?
Replies
If so what led you to do it and who did you cheat on on your partner with? Did you ever get caught or come clean about it? How did your significant other react when they found out? How did it affect the relationship both in the short and long-term?
For those who haven't cheated. Have you ever been tempted or come close to doing it?
i cheated on a monogamous partner at-the-time with one of my exes. i did it because i wasn't at all invested in that relationship and found it incredibly boring. cheating on her was like my only way to make things at least a bit less dull. we had a nasty break up after that.
I once have been tempted. Had a long term bf and then all of a sudden this guy kinda swept me off my feet in a dorkish way on neo and I fell head over heels for him. We were kinda in deep for an online thing... but we broke whatever you call it off because I knew it was wrong and couldnt live with the guilt.
This isn't something I often share, but...
click
I have, yes. I'm not proud of it, and I'd go so far as to say it's my biggest regret in life. Not so much because of how everything turned out (I know I'm exactly where I should be), but because I hurt someone I loved more than I ever imagined possible, and to this day have still not forgiven myself for it.
A year into our relationship, my (now ex)fiance and I moved from our hometown to the middle of nowhere 3000km away. I was miserable, and without realizing it I began to resent him for "making me" move there (I felt like I had no choice, although it was entirely my decision to go). A year later we finally moved back home, but the damage had already been done.
Shortly after returning home, I went to a concert with an ex (we were still friends; still are, in fact). I got absolutely hammered, and we ended up back at his place. I'm not so immature as to blame it on the alcohol; I was certainly inebriated, yes, but I knew what I was doing and I knew that it was wrong.
The second I got home I told him everything (there was no way I was going even try and keep it a secret); I broke up with him, thinking it was what he wanted, but couldn't do himself. It didn't stick, though. Despite everything, we still very much loved each other and wanted desperately for things to work out between us. And we really did try, too. We were together for another four years after that; but I don't think he ever truly forgave me. Eventually he ended up leaving me for someone else, and although it hurt like hell, I honestly can't really blame him for it.
For what it's worth, I don't believe that old saying of "Once a cheater, always a cheater". I learned a VERY hard lesson from all of this; I know exactly what that kind of betrayal does to another, and I never want to inflict that kind of pain on anyone else ever again. I hate that I had to hurt someone to really learn that; it wasn't something I ever imagined myself capable of until it was already done. This is just something I'm going to have to live with for the rest of my life.
(We broke up several years ago now, and I've since married someone amazing. The ex-fiance and I are still on good terms, though - not best friends, but we do catch up with one another every now and again.)
Ping me if you want my attention!
I spent the night at another guys house. I think at that point my SO and i were just already so emotionally over each other. I told him i was grabbing drinks with that guy and never came home and he didn't care. I told him after we broke up. We're still really good friends. We better as friends than as a couple-and I think we both knew that so it wasn't a big deal.
<p>
LOL WHAT xD
~~~~~
I was skimming and found your post. That was a thing on neo? xD
~~~~~
Yes, I have cheated. It's something I don't regret, as I learned a lot about myself and about other people.
Long Story
I was in my first relationship with my now ex. Things were kinda iffy with us... we hooked up every weekend while as friends. We only became a couple, because my living situation changed. I was mentally unstable, because of the living situation and I was still in counselling for depression and anxiety.
He left the country to see his family over the summer. I was temporarily living in his apartment while he was away. I emailed him about how things were periodically, including my struggle with depression.
I was in college at the time, and I had been talking to some classmates. One of the classmates asked me to take him home. When I was about to drop him off, he tried to kiss me, which I rejected. He then talked about hooking up. At first, I was disgusted. But, a few days after that, I emailed my now ex and he got fed up with my depression and said for me to "cheer up". That put me over the edge.
The next time I took the classmate home, I decided to take him to my ex's apartment. I really needed some companionship. But, after the hook up, I begged for him to stay the night. But, he left. A few weeks later, he still kissed me when he hung out, but then admitted to being in love with his ex. I decided to tell him I'm not interested in him anymore, and I never saw him again, since classes were over for the summer.
Another classmate was clearly interested in me. I was attracted to him. After hooking up with the first classmate, I decided to hang out with the attractive classmate. We ended up in his apartment, and I got wasted on whiskey. He took advantage of me having my guard down and me willing to accept his advances. I ended up stayed the night. The next week I went over there, I tried hooking with him, because I wanted to be in a relationship with him. But, he rejected me and wanted to be just friends. And, I was begging to stay the night again, because my depression was really bad. But, he kicked me out. I never saw him again, despite him saying he wanted to hang out again.
After my now ex returned to the country, things were going amazing between us. But then, after I started working, he became less willing to hang out and became pissed when I visited him without notification. It's because he wasn't answering my texts. Turns out his phone bill wasn't paid. I finally had enough of this guy.
I ended up volunteering at a senior center that weekend. I met a fellow volunteer, and we ended up talking the whole time. He made me feel like I wasn't worthless. He listened to me and understood my depression.
After my now ex denied me hanging with him, I invited the volunteer to hang out. We walked around and eventually stopped by a bench. We kissed for hours before I went over to his house. He said we wanted to be in a relationship with me. I decided I wanted to be with him instead of my now ex. The breakup was nasty. But, I never admitted I cheated on him.
The volunteer was starting to get boring after a few weeks. We had very different hobbies. The volunteer ended up breaking up with me a month later, which I was happy about. I was going to break up with him regardless... I met my now fiance at a party, and I was very interested in him. But, I wasn't going to cheat on the volunteer. I was done with cheating.
Short Version: What I learned is physical relationships don't help with depression... they make it worse. I learned that I was not interested in guys who like movies and go on Tumblr all day. Some guys only want to hook up and don't care about the emotional trauma it causes their partner.
I will never cheat on my fiance. He's everything I wanted and more. A hook up with an attractive guy is not worth losing him... ever. I don't even think about cheating any more, and I'm glad.
I haven't cheated in that I've not done anything with the person nor do they have an idea just am ..in love with them. Which is not fair to my partner but this needs to be discussed with her.
The only time I ever came the utterly tiniest bit close to 'cheating' was when a friend of mine leaned right into my face, and for some reason I wanted to kiss her, even though shes straight, and I have a boyfriend (who laughed with me about the whole thing) Other than that, which I honestly wouldn't even count, I could never even think of cheating; even if I did theoretically want to I'd be far too awkward to do anything
And I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight... ❤️
Visit my Tumblr?
http://thepastelbat.tumblr.com/
My dad cheated on my mom. And it really hurt her,me, and my siblings. I think the best thing to do is to break up with the person you're with before you cheat. And to think about the repercussions such actions can have on the other people you love,it's not just your life you could be affecting. I think most people don't think about that. As my mom says, "If you really loved the first person, would there even be a second one?"
No, and I never, ever plan to. To me -- not to rag on anyone else here -- cheating is the most scummy thing you can ever possibly do to someone. I suppose that it's also very circumstantial from person-to-person and the situation at hand, but cheating on someone who loves you with all their heart and you break their trust like that behind their back? It's shitty as fuck and I don't stand for that at all.
{ Tumblr || Flight Rising }
I've never cheated and definitely would never cheat, but I have fantasized about it before. It's never been a serious thought in my head though, more of a fleeting "wouldn't it be crazy if I did that" kind of thing when I see another attractive person. There's no one in my life that I would ever actually cheat on my bf with. Besides, he's been cheated on in the past and I can see firsthand what that kind of betrayal does to people, and I would never, ever want to be the cause of that to him, or anyone else.
Not even going to hide that I readily insult anyone who cheats on their partner. Anyone who does that is a scumbag, plain and simple.
I have. I don't really regret it. I was talking to this guy, and then started dating a different guy... but never really broke it off with the first guy. I confessed about a week later.
My boyfriend was abusive. I wanted to leave him, but it took me 2 years to actually do it. So no, I dont really regret cheating on him. I regret staying with him for 2 years.
when i was dating my previous bf, i wasnt really interested in him emotionally or physically. i wondered about other guys, but i would never pursue anyone unless i was single.
ive been dating my current bf for a little over 2 years now. i dont even think about other guys in the manner that i used to. i envision a future with him and i love him more than anything. i feel like ive known him my entire life. he pushes me towards my dreams and goals and he believes in me more than anyone else in my life.
as for being cheated on, my first bf cheated on me constantly. he manipulated and abused me throughout the entire relationship. if i tried to leave, hed threaten to kill himself or harm me. i finally left him, got a restraining order, was threatened to be killed- all that fun stuff. its taken me about 6-7+ years to heal from that relationship. i had trust issues not only with bfs, but with friends and family as well. i struggled with severe depression for years. i refused to go out in public alone. i couldnt sleep without a metal baseball bat by my bed. i was essentially turned into an irritable, distrustful, nasty, paranoid bitch until i found peace.
i saw my abusive ex a few months ago at a concert, actually. i hadnt seem him in a looong, long time. i wasnt expecting it, so i had a panic attack and left immediately. my friend told me my ex cried when he saw me. hes apparently still obsessed with me and thinks i'm "the one."
so i guess like... cheaters to me are filthy and disgusting, based off of what ive gone through. youve got to be a sort of evil to screw with someones mental health, tormenting them with deceit and brainwashing.
related note, my current bf dated a girl MUUUCH like my abusive ex. she pulled the same stuff on him. had him hospitalized twice bc shed purposely trigger his anxiety disorder to control him. shed threaten him ANYTIME he confronted her about cheating. she faked pregnancies/miscarriages to prevent him from leaving her. he dumped her 3 and a half years ago. shes still obsessed with him. her friends tell me she constantly talks about him and brings him up TO THIS DAY!! she purposely got addicted to heroin, thinking he would 'save her' and 'take her back.' shes still an addict. she has stalked my social media intensely. shes a compulsive liar. she manipulates everyone around her into thinking shes the victim in every situation she gets herself into.
(fun fact: his crazy ex met my crazy ex at a party ab 1 1/2 years ago. they hooked up after discovering who the other person was. she apparently messed with his emotions and he angrily locked her in his room and pulled a knife on her. amazing.)
Yes, I have and I regret nothing. I started seeing this guy I met at work in 2005. When we met, I knew he was married. I also knew he had other girlfriends. But after a few months, He left his wife and broke up with the other girls and we became 'Official' After that followed 2ish years of super ups and downs...One day he wanted me, The next he wanted to be single, Then back to wanting me, Then back to wanting to be single....as you can imagine, It was a bit of a head fuck and over time, I started to get fed up of him messing me around but I did still love him so I didn't break off. Then I started working on night shift and I met this other guy and we hit it off so hard straight away! I fell in love with him after like 5 minutes and that had NEVER happened to me before and hasn't since he was just....everything. Gorgeous, funny, kind, considerate etc... I slept with him the night I met him, Yes, at work...My bf didn't even enter my head, I felt no guilt whatsoever and it felt natural tbh After that, I was seeing them both for about 10 months until guy 2 found out and made me choose between them....I chose guy 2 and we were together for 4 years altogether. Skip to 2012 when we broke up, I got back with guy in a 'FWB' type situation and was seeing him til May this year until I got bored and just stopped talking to him, Now he texts me from different numbers pretending to be different people but thinks I don't know but I do because he says things only he would know but I can't be bothered with him....I'm an awful person.