Recently I watched one of buzzfeed's videos and it was about the 6 different types of ex's lesbians had. I watched it just for fun, but one of ex's caught my eye -the "straightie". It's your ex that will kiss and cuddle with you, but will never do anything below the belt. In the video the girl admitted she wasn't gay, but I know there are girls in real life who will say they are bi or gay and still won't do anything below the belt. And it isn't a matter of not being ready, it's just because the partner is a female.

For me, I find these people offensive and insulting to the gay community. But what do you guys think?? How would you go about meeting someone like this? And if you're gay/bi, would you ever consider dating one?

I wouldn't say I find them offensive or insulting, because they have good intentions at least. I just find them... undesirable. I would never date someone who doesn't /actually/ find me attractive.

If anything it's inconvenient, because I meet so many "bi" girls who are so uncomfortable with me also being female. I call these people "heteroflexible" or "bicurious". But then again, so many people don't want to educate themselves on terminology and I don't blame them. We are all people regardless of gender or sex, so like who you like, and love who you love, you know?

I'm talking as a girl who has gone "below the belt" with other girls and guys. I consider myself pansexual (hence why I don't care about gender or sex).

Also, as a disclaimer, I use "sex" as in what chromosomes you're born with, and "gender" as in what you identify as.

I think a person should consider (and, if it's their partner, discuss with them) the possibility that this person is on the asexual spectrum. Given the huge amount of active and passive erasure of asexuality, it's entirely possible that the person in question is ace and unaware of that. As someone who's ace I think it's hugely important that asexuality be brought up before assuming malicious intent.

There's also the potential of them being biromantic, but not bisexual. They might be able to have relationships with other girls, just not want sex with them. It's not good to automatically judge anyone just because you don't know WHY they don't want to have sex.

Damn it, I'm actually stepping on this land mine aren't I? Sorry I'm trying to be polite and I've edited this so many times but.....Offensive? The sexuality of these peoples do not mirror yours or fit in with the selected community, so you'e offended. Please explain this to me. ._.

there are so many possible reasons why someone wouldn't want to be sexual with their partner. apart from asexuality and being biromo and stuff like that, there are also people who are survivors. invalidating their sexuality because they can't be sexual due to trauma is unacceptable.

i hate straight people accessorizing same gender attraction as any other member of lgbt+, but getting all gatekeep-y about it doesn't help anyone at all.

completely undesirable and annoying. It gives a hell of a bad name to the bisexual community. We already have to deal with people thinking somehow that we don't exist and people like that just give us more of a bad name.

I think blaming bicurious women (that's the implication of the OP, 'straighties' are merely experimenting and 'leading on' their gay partners) for the biphobia we suffer from hetcis society and from LGBT+ people and groups is misguided and unproductive victim blaming. If people didn't fear, mislike, and/or hate bisexual folks for not being monosexual there would be a safe(r) space for people with fluid orientations/identities, or people whose romantic and sexual orientations only party overlap or don't overlap at all, or even for people who are questioning and unsure.

I personally know people who didn't realise they were bi until well into their twenties and thirties, because the pressure was so strong to focus on the part of their attraction 'sanctioned' by society. I know people who are worried they're not 'bi enough' to identify into LGBT+. I know people who felt pressured into sex to save their relationships. I am not going to contribute to their pain.

I would absolutely date someone who is questioning, or biromantic but not bisexual. And even if it didn't work out, I wouldn't throw them or their orientation under the bus in the name of further acceptance by hetcis or LGBT+ communities.

I had a 'girlfriend' and my situation was similar to the "straighie". But I had no interest in taking things further in a sexual way. I understand how that is frustrating. Believe me, it was very difficult on both sides. But in our relationship, I felt like she was not accepting of my sexuality. She was asking for something I couldn't give her, she was asking me to be someone other than myself. And isn't that what many in the LGBT community struggle against? Everybody should support everybody because no relationship is 'easy'.

I don't think it's offensive or insulting, because I think a large part of the LGBT+ community needs to be about acceptance and respect of people's boundaries, self-exploration, and preferences. By no means are you required to date someone who doesn't want to go below the belt- if that's a deal breaker for you, that's perfectly reasonable. But I don't think it's offensive/insulting. Everyone has different levels of attraction and comfort, I think those boundaries should be respected, even if they're not to your liking. If they're somewhat attracted to the same sex, but don't want to go as far as others, that's okay! It's their comfort and their choice, and that should be respected. Just don't date them if you're not okay with what they're willing to give and receive.

Turns out sometimes even other women are afraid of vaginas. Boo on that.

It's not offensive and there's a lot of factors that can add up to a case like this. As a lesbian, I would be super frustrated to be in this situation and I've BEEN in that situation, but so it goes. Sometimes someone will mess around and realize they're not feeling it and confirm their sexuality, straight or otherwise. I think after that point, anyone should put a kibosh on the light makeouts because you're both clearly not getting what you want out of it or someone's desires/limits aren't being respected. And you probably shouldn't be in a relationship with people who don't match up with you in those respects.

I dunno if I'd label it as a phenomenon like this article seems to be trying to. Some people are okay with being someone other friends experiment with, some aren't. Decide which one you are and smooch accordingly.

Don't date them? I've identified as bisexual for years. I was never attracted to sex, never felt the need. I never tried to touch a man because I never dated any. I tried with several girls and I was just like .. not feeling it? Turns out I'm more ace than what I thought.

I do not think it's offensive if the unsure person is clear after trying. However if they continue .. then it kinda sucks a little.