I need to be comforted :-(
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This weekend I got into a fight with my boyfriend. We've been best friends for about 2 years, and became serious six months ago (our six month anniversary was actually on Friday). We had both been drinking and having fun, but somehow we ended up arguing and said hurtful things to one another-- things that were true, but that we probably wouldn't bring up sober. During this discussion, I accused him of not seeing any future with me, and he admitted that he will eventually want to date other people because I'm his first, and he wants to see what it is like to be with others. I know that this isn't unreasonable, but it just hurts so much. I'm at a point in my life where I no longer want to date causally or for fun-- I am dating in order to find a life partner. I don't -expect- to marry my boyfriend, or to immediately find the person I will eventually marry, but I guess I just don't see the point in dating if he knows for sure that he doesn't want to end up with me. It's the lack of the possibility and his unwillingness to be committed that hurts more than anything. I'm afraid of looking back and feeling like I wasted my time. I don't necessarily want advice; I just really need someone to comfort me and tell me it'll be okay, because I can't talk to him about this right now without breaking down again.
Oh no. Drinking and couple fighting is the WORST thing to do. Trust me I know ive done similiar things with different topics before :c
What both of you said wasn't nice, so maybe he was just giving you a taste of your own medicine because you hurt him when you said there might not be a future with you and him.
I don't think maybe he meant it? Have yall tried talking after the fact once you two were clear minded?
Nevertheless you will be okay. I think either this thing will blow over or that you in time will find it was meant to be and something worked out in your favor. Sorry this is happening I know its heartbreaking!
squishy hugs ;___; ❤
I am pretty sure that he meant it-- he specifically used the words "this is something I will never, ever, ever change my mind about". Yesterday when we saw each other, neither of us said much of anything about the previous night because we both felt rotten, but I think he would have told me if he hadn't meant it. He usually is very open to apologizing and owning up to things. He apologized for how our weekend went, but he didn't correct anything he had actually said.
Nevertheless, thank you so much for your kind response! It makes me feel better to know that at least one other person out there cares. ❤
I'm sorry that he said hurtful things. I can't really give any advice on relationships, but just know that maybe the fight might have been for the better. Maybe it happened so that you could realize that you might not fit and that is okay. Reading this article reminded me of my older sister's breakup with her boyfriend. They had a rough night and fought and he said mean things about not seeing a future with her and wanted to end things. The next morning they talked but it wasn't the same. They broke up, but now she's been in a relationship with her new boyfriend for a year and they both are very in love with each other. Sometimes things happen for a reason. You may not think this now, but maybe this experience was meant to show you a way out. There is a person out there for everyone, but maybe your current boyfriend just isn't it. You will find a person as committed to you, as you are to him someday.
The quote keeps ringing in my head... "Drunk mind speak sober thoughts"
If he cannot seem to look into the future and see it with you, I am going to say take some time apart. Do not dilly dally and wait for a man to make up a decision. Remember, YOU are YOUR future... he is not. A relationship is not 50/50... it's 100 and 100 from both partners. Maybe the potential separation will be a wake-up call for him and then he will realize what he wants to do with his life. Do not sit around and wait for anybody for the "OK" to begin your life journey. It seems like this relationship could be holding you back and could be toxic later down the road. BUT FIRST... Talk it out with him, tell him your feelings while sober, and see how it turns out. Maybe he is just scared of actually seeing the future with you and is getting cold feet. It could be anything, honestly. Talk, talk, talk and communication is the key to any healthy relationship!
