HELLO. OKAY. I've been trying to do this on my own for who knows how long but I thought I would turn to this forum for some honest advice. Because I know you guys are honest to the core LMAO.

So, I have this best friend for over 2 years now, we live together we even sleep in the same bed but we don't do anything, I'm a friend with benefits every now and then, but other than that. We're pretty close, we go out a lot, have lunch and dinner, do things like bowling etc... We're together all the time basically. We have pretty much have excluded our social lives from everyone else except a couple of people. HA

But now, I have fallen for this dude (WOMP CLICHE I KNOW) I've been trying to ask him out for I don't know how long. Jesus, I even started seeing someone else for a couple of weeks to put my feelings aside. That shit didn't work, honestly made it worse.

But, he's done a lot of things for me and I've done the same. Full circle stuff. You scratch my back I Scratch yours basically.

The only thing is, I feel like if I ask. WAIT for one, I'm a female so I've been raised on Society's law of 'Men have to ask' and it sucks because I feel like if he had any interest in me he would've asked. Or maybe he's just scared like me.

I also feel like if I ask and he says no, it's going to ruin our friendship, which would kind of suck.

I know I should just grow some balls and fuckin ask but I don't know how. LIKE HEY you want dis or naw That's never gonna work. Really, the only reason I've even thought of asking now is because everyone I know is always like "Are you guys together?" "Just get married already" "Just ask him" But, I don't want to be the one who feels like they're in a relationship and their in the single mode. That would be suck..

ALSO, some opinions from the male side of women asking their male friends out would be great. Do you guys think, girls get rejected more than men or men get rejected more by women?

Or equal. I don't know, I feel pretty High-schoolish (please note I'm 23 and I'm still a coward)

UvU

Anyway. I feel pretty dumb asking this kind of advice, I just need a second opinion I guess.

MER

I'd just ask one day when you guys are hanging out. Just throw it out there. You could ask, "Hey, want to go out and see a movie or something? As in, an actual date. I've been thinking about this for awhile, and I'm interested in us being exclusive if you are."

You could do it with a cheesy card if he has a birthday or just to do it, honestly, if you don't want to be quite as face to face with it.

sounds to me like you two are pretty much already together, especially since you're fwb's so i'm not sure why asking would be a problem. honestly though, i think if he was interested he would have asked already. i don't wanna get your hopes down, but i know guys and he probably sees you as fwb's and that's it. that's usually what happens when friends stupidly cross that line.

- I was in a FWB relationship two years ago. I ended up asking him out ONLY because I was moving back in with my mom after living on my own for a bit and I didn't want her to look down on me for spending my weekends with a guy who wasn't even my boyfriend. He wasn't happy, but agreed. However, our friendship deteriorated little by little.

He broke up with me a few months later, but I ended up confessing my love for him a few weeks after. Got back together with him, but things were pretty shitty. He never confessed feelings for me unless I said something first. In the end, I broke up with him.

I've also had a few one night stands with friends. After those nights, our friendships would die, because I would end up confessing my feelings for them.

So, I feel like this guy is not romantically interested in you. FWB almost never end in romance... just heartbreak. And yes, it'll ruin the friendship. So, if you're looking for a real relationship, I would start looking elsewhere. Not sleeping with him, both figuratively and literally, would be a great start.

However, if you're willing to risk the relationship, ask him out. But, since you're living with him, make sure you have a way to move out FIRST. You don't want to live with him if the friendship makes a turn for the worse.

If you don't ask you'll never know. It sounds like you're in pretty deep emotionally, so if he doesn't want to be "exclusive" or "FB official" or what have you, you might be stuck feeling miserable. Stop worrying about him and think about yourself for a bit: how would you feel if he said no? Would you be happy to still live with him? Share a bed? Sleep with him occasionally? If you answer no to any of these, figure out your exit strategy - whether that's buying your own bed, making your own friends, or moving out - before you ask him.

Personally, I can remember asking out several guys, only one of whom turned me down. He's still one of my best friends, though there was a period a few years ago where I think he regretted not giving it a go when I asked him. We were only ever just friends though, didn't kiss or anything. However, just to counter-steer the negativity around FWB relationships in this post, I was FWB with another of my closest friends for at least 12-18 months. He got emotionally involved, so we stopped all sexual activity, and we pulled through. We're both in happy relationships now and love each other to death, there's no resentment or unhappiness, and having that shared history means we're always super honest & open with each other.

Update:nnSo I asked him the other day! nn:vnHe said no. But for a pretty good reason. nnIt's all good. I shouldn't of wigged myself out about so much aha. Thank you guys for the feedback ❤️

Are you okay? hug Shame it didn't work out and I hope it doesn't ruin anything.

Hey! Oh yeah.

And honestly I think we're closer now because of it.

I figure now I'm happy that I'm a friend at all and if he's happy then I'm happy, and that's all that matters to me in the end anyway (: