She has cancer.

Maybe some of you remember me from last year, a lot of you donated to Logan when she got feline mammary cancer and helped her get her surgery? She died a little over a year ago and I'm still pretty cut up about it, and the cat who has cancer now is her sister. She started to get similar lumps on nipples and, well... I guess cancer's hereditary in cat families just as it is human ones, because it's progressing very similarly.

I just checked today and the main tumor is bigger than an inch now, it seems to have really grown fast since last time I checked, unless I'm crazy and just imagining it's going fast. But I feel like she won't last the year, which I sort of felt when it started, and it's progressing fast so yeah. All I can do is watch, and wait, and love her, and then... you know.

It's kinda sad because we just moved, and Logan was buried at our last place... I mean I guess it doesn't really matter, because they didn't even get along, but heh. It just feels like it'll be terrible to have to bury her sister here. I don't really want to bury her at all to be honest, when we buried Logan I kinda wish we'd cremated her, because it was disturbing to me to leave her out there in the cold and the rain, just you know, fading away. And then when we moved (which was barely two weeks ago) I cried at her grave having to leave her behind. Like, I know she's not IN there, but you know... I just sorta wish she'd been burned into ashes, all at once, and gone to the wind. But this cat is technically my boyfriend's, so he'll probably choose burial. Ah well.

Anyway, I guess I'm just posting this looking for some random sympathy and coddling because I feel terrible, and you guys were really great and supportive last time. Give people an inch and they want a mile, eh? >.<

Her name is Miss Peepers and she just turned thirteen this year.

I am so sorry to hear about Miss Peepers and Logan. :( hugs Losing an animal is like losing a family member. I hope you can stay strong during this hard time and take comfort knowing that Miss Peepers was loved and lived a happy life with you and your boyfriend.

My childhood dog of 14 years got really sick last November and we put her to sleep. I definitely still get upset about it. I felt the same as you about cremation vs. burying. A part of me wanted to cremate her so I could always have her with me. We did bury her through, at my childhood home.

Crap, now I'm crying.

I'm so sorry to hear about your cat. :( Losing a pet is never easy, and cancer seriously sucks. Some animals do okay with treatment, whereas others just don't have the fight in them. It sounds like she's had a really good life though, and at 13 at least she's not a young cat. Actually, coincidentally, at the animal shelter I volunteer at we just had a cat brought in that we named Peepers, haha!

I lost one of my cats in November, and it still gets to me. She was ill one day, and then a week later we had to put her down. We're still not sure what was wrong with her, but she just declined so quickly. I'm glad she didn't suffer too much, however it was definitely hard as she was only 8. And then we have my other cat who is still going strong at a whopping 17, so it just goes to show you just never know what's going to happen.

We had my cat cremated, but we have a paw imprint and I got that tattoo'd on my arm with her name to remember her by so she'll be with me forever.

Aww, I'm sorry, didn't mean to make anyone cry. :( But your own words back at you, and I'm sure your dog had as good as home as you could give her, just like my Miss Peepers. Fourteen years is a pretty good age for a dog, too, so that speaks well of her care. Hugs back

Only eight, that's not nearly old enough for a kitty! :C I had a rabbit die several years ago in a similar mystery way. He got sick with what seemed to be a mild cold, and then I woke up and he was just dead. :I

I'm sorry to hear about your cat, but I'm glad you've permanently marked your body with her paw and name. After I lost the cat last years I got extra piercings in my ears, and before that when I lost two ferrets, they each got a cartilage piercing. I think if this goes on I might end up moving on to tattoos, and then I'm just gonna be pierced and tattooed all over. XD But I can understand that mentality far more than this "It's just an animal" talk I hear from those crazy folks who don't seem to think it matters. <.<

Heh, you've got a "Peepers" too, eh? Maybe they're distantly related. ;)

Getting those piercings is a good way to remember them too! I like that idea a lot. Hahaha! Well, they say that you can never have just one. I started with a single cartilage piercing (aside from my lobes), and now I've got seven piercings and two tattoos. But yeah, I completely do not understand the whole 'just a cat' or 'just some pet' mentality. It's absolutely insane. Like, I've cried over animals that weren't even mine!

Yeah, she was always a bit of a sensitive cat, but this just kind of came by storm and took her very quickly. She came home on medication after being at the vet on IV for three days, and was okay for a couple of days (eating and such), but then she deteriorated rather quickly and started limping and wanting to hide, so we knew something was up again. The vets said we could have run tests, but that would have been more for our benefit and not hers. We know we made the right choice putting her down though, as hard as it was.

Hahaha! They might be! One of the girls named her that because she's got these huge green eyes.

Aww poor baby. >.< Stories like this always make me wish I had a magic power to heal animals. But then, I'd probably never sleep, just wandering around the city, looking for animals to heal, racked with guilt that I'm eating or showering when I should be saving another animal.

No time to poop now, gotta find a hurt animal and fix it! I'LL GO IN MY PANTS ON THE WAY!!

Err, um. Strike that last bit.

My Miss Peepers has green eyes. They MUST be related! Nevermind that's one of the most common cat eye-colors, it's a fact in my head now!!

We call her creepy Peepy a lot because she creeps around... bein' creepy. <.<

I'm a graduated animal health technologist, so I'm one step down from a vet, so I come pretty close to magic healing powers (or healing drugs rather), haha! But a wand would sure be nice, would definitely make my job a whole hell of a lot easier.

They just might be! Is your cat also grey and short-haired? Because that would definitely confirm it.

She is gray! Well parts of her. She's gray and black tabby mostly, with white bits and a pink nose. ^-^

I totally know how you feel. I just had to put my dog down July 9 :/ I'm a veterinary technician. I brought my dog in to my work to get a "routine" dental done for my dog because while brushing my dog's teeth, I noticed some blood. During the x-rays the technician noticed bone loss in his upper jaw. They took a biopsy and came back Squamous Cell carcinoma. Unfortunately it was too close to his eye for any radiation or chemo. So some NsAIDS and pain meds and we got a couple more months with him. But I was devastated, he was my little man and he had just turned 8. Animals aren't just pets, they are family. They know when you happy or sad, and know you love them and know how to love you back but 100 times more. I had him cremated because I couldn't bear to not have him. You precious cat will hold on for you for as long as she can, for you. You have to remember all the happy moments and not dwell on the bad.

I'm sorry to hear about that. :( One of the most heartbreaking things is to see your pet slowly die. I won't go into it, but I had to watch my dog die earlier this year and now it's obvious that my cat is slowly dying as well.

You just need to remember that you gave your cat the best life that you could. ♥

Thank you! It can be very easy to comfort others in times like these and you tend to overlook your own advice. She was indeed loved and spoiled and I'm a better person after having her as a pet! And no worries about the tears. :) I can be pretty emotional, especially about animals.

I also want to group hug everyone else here who has lost a beloved pet. group hug

Oh my god, I remember Logan D: hugs

My kitty is just about over a year old, and it breaks my heart hearing news like these this, I think about my own fur baby and then end up thinking about every cat dying and it just breaks me, I suffer with any bad news who are kitty related. - it makes me cry like an idiot. x_x; Oddly, I don't seem to care much for people as I care for cats (please don't judge, heh. ;w;" I have enough bad experiences with people and I consider most people a bunch of... things, heh. But ohwell coughs )

Anyway, I'm really sorry for your loss, even after years, it still hurts.... I know how it is :') And, again, sorry for Miss Peepers, but if I can say some comfort words... when they're gone, they're no longer suffering, yes? And as Dumbledore would say "Do not pity the dead, pity the living. And above all, pity those who live without love"

Also english isn't my native language, but I hope I am understandable and nothing I said sounded odd or insensitive X3 If I said anything off, just let me know tho as I'm always learning things c:

I am so sorry that you're going through this again. I remember your thread last year about Logan. It broke my heart then and it breaks my heart now knowing that you're suffering. There's not a lot anyone can say that can ease the pain. If only our fur babies had long lives like ours and all these nasty diseases didn't exist. But at least you know that you've given them wonderful lives full of happiness and love. I've been through this many times and really the only thing I know to say is to focus on good memories as much as possible and block out the bad ones. It's hard to do but it helps with healing, though it can still take a long time.

Thanks for posting, and I'm so sorry to hear about your dog and your cat. :( I'm crossing my fingers for you that your kitty lasts as long as s/he can without pain and goes peacefully when it's time. >.<

Thank you for your sentiments and I, too, tend to automatically feel more for animals than I do people, heh. So you haven't offended me. I'm glad you (and ) remember Logan. What's that saying... happiness shared is doubled and sadness shared is halved? I don't know if my sadness over Logan was halved, exactly, because hoo boy there was still a lot left... but yeah, sharing it with you guys last year helped.

And Azshua, thanks for your post too. Your little kitty in that photo is super cute. I assume that Oreo Cookie pet is in honor of her, considering she shares the same silly little nose-stripe? ^-^

Update on Miss Peepers: She's here on my desk right now where I've put a little blankie for her because she just kept walking on my keyboard so I figured, alright, fine, you can have an on-desk bed already, I get it! The tumors are still growing (a big second one by the first is fighting for dominance) and the main one is going through necrosis like Logan's did so it smells like death. DX It's disturbing, and I don't know if it hurts. I mean you'd think it'd have to where it comes through the fur right? She licks it a lot and I wonder if there's some kind of over-the-counter topical pain-relief for cats I can put on... does anyone know anything about that?

Sometimes she tries to scratch it, and that is a tragedy to watch. She does it really slow and tries to be so careful about it, while making this sort of twisted-up catty face that is clearly pain. >.< It's been terrible, I'm not gonna lie, and I'm really dreading the end.

Right now though she is warm and purring, so I will try to concentrate on that and not thinking about the later. I'm going to rub her toasty belly and let her knead my arm with her sharp, sharp claws, because that is love.

Edit: Oh and I just remembered - thank you whoever you are for the anonymous gift. It was sweet. C:

Yeah, that was my precious little Oreo. I lost her last year after a long and hard fight for her life. The vets couldn't figure out what was wrong with her and after nearly two months of fighting, she let me know that she was ready to go. I'll never forget that look. I slept by her side the night before we took her in to end her suffering. I've had to make that decision many times with pets and it never gets any easier. It's always the same thing, asking myself if I'm doing the right thing when I know that I am, always wondering if I could have done something differently that would have changed the outcome. When she was born, her nose was solid pink. She started getting little black spots that eventually became one and took over her nose.

I don't know a lot about what can be given for pain at home, really. We've had vets prescribe steroids and a couple of vets have told us that they can be given aspirin, but one has to be very careful. I've used aspirin in the past successfully. I can't remember the dosage per pound, though. It lasts for three or four days. I've also used a natural medicine from Amazon, but the cats I gave it to HATED it because it must taste awful, haha. It has such a strong odor!

I must admit that I grieved for Oreo (and a few others) much harder than I have any human other than my dad. I had been trying to figure out why that is when a couple of things occurred to me. My sister-in-law passed away a couple of years ago and I had been close to her. I still grieved harder over Oreo than I did her and I was thinking about it and came to this conclusion; Oreo was with me all the time whereas my sister-in-law (and others I've lost) weren't. I think our brain has a way to make us think/feel like the absence of someone is merely due to us not visiting each other and not calling, if that makes any sense? Yet our pets are there with us all the time and become a part of our daily routine. There's also the fact that they love us unconditionally and don't judge us (not out loud, anyway, hahaha). Also, I think it's because cats and dogs (and other types of pets) are like furry little toddlers. We usually have to keep them out of trouble, we feed them and clean up their poop, pee, and vomit. We sorry ourselves sick when they're sick or hurt. If there's more than one in the household, then we become the referees and I swear, my cats are just like little kids when it comes to being asses to one another. I can almost hear one of them saying I'M NOT TOUCHING YOU and another yelling MOOOOOOOM, YOU WON'T GUESS WHAT -insert name of pet being bad- JUST DID.

Sorry for the wall of text, heh. But yeah, that's what I think about why many of us mourn the loss of a pet more than we do people.

I remember all the stuff about Logan, and I'm so sorry you're losing another kitty. Mine are only 3 and 1 right now, but I fear the day I lose them, especially my three year old cat because I have such a special connection to him.

My dog, who I'd had since I was a little girl (she was a Christmas/Birthday present), had to be put down two years ago (she got mammory cancer and it spread to her lungs) and I still get teary eyed to this day. She was only 12, and I wish I had gotten a few more years with her.

I know the pet store I work at sells aspirin specifically dosed for pets, if you ever need some kind of pain killer. I hope you get a bit more time out of her though. It's never easy to lose a pet

Thank you for the posts everyone. I'm sorry I haven't replied sooner but I wanted to update this thread to say that my Miss Peepers died today at around five in the morning.

She'd stopped eating these past two weeks and I've just spent all this time never leaving the house, carrying her place to place, holding water for her to drink and just petting and talking to her. I worried that maybe carrying her to bed at night and to the desk or chair in the morning to be with me wherever I was during the day was NOT a comfort but a pain, because it was awkward scooping her up and trying not to touch her painful cancer bits. However twice during this ordeal she sought me out the few times I was away from her for a very short time. Saturday night I went for a shower and when I came out, she staggered over to me and lay down right behind my feet.

So even though she'd stopped purring for a while, I'm pretty sure I was able to give her some comfort. The only time she'd really close her eyes and look relaxed was when I was petting her face or kissing it, and saying her name.

And today she went, it looked like, the same way Logan did (which was supposed in an email by a vet afterwards to be a heart-attack). It was horrible to watch - though it seemed relatively quick and painless - and I'm sure the recording of it in my mind will play over and over every night and torment me for years to come as Logan's has since she went. I don't know how we can live in this world, and my soul is darkened because another light went out in it, and that's how I feel right now but here's hoping it gets better. It's been over a year and a half since Logan and that hasn't gotten better so I don't see how the addition of this can make anything getting better any better, but something has to happen someday to get better or else we just stop living and the earth opens up and swallows us. I mean, I haven't felt happy for ages because of these sicknesses and deaths, and I don't feel like I ever will be, and I probably never should have started this thread because what am I doing I don't know.

I don't know.

I'm so, so sorry to hear about your kitty. I can tell the two of you loved each other very much. It hurts to lose a little family member like that. I know you gave her comfort though, don't ever think you didn't. She and Logan would not want to see you beating yourself up over this, you know they wouldn't! You did the best you could by them and they will always love you as you will always love them. You can't let the pain of their loss outweigh all the love and good times you gave each other over the years. As cliche as it sounds, think about the good times and remember how wonderful they were in life. You'll never forget the love you had for each other and when it's your time, you'll see them again, forever. In the mean time, just live your life and be happy, that's what your kitties would have wanted. hugs

Sorry if I'm a bit late on this but I stumbled on this post randomly. Words can't show how sad I am to hear this :( I lost my cat last February and it was the worse thing ever. I still get choked up mentioning her. It's so tragic that our pets have to die before we do...

I sincerely hope you're doing okay. From what you said, it seems that you did all you could for those two. In the end, it's all that should matter. Celebrate their lives. Appreciate the times you had. Don't focus on the negative. That's the best piece of advice I can offer you. It's difficult to go through but it does get easier.

Take care :)

Thinking about my cats not wanting ME to be unhappy struck me as a little silly at first, I mean because even when I hear that regarding HUMANS I've always thought, "Well, more than wanting me not to be sad I'd think they'd most want not to be dead." But Logan and Miss Peepers were my two cats who would come over and get in my face all loudly purring whenever I would cry or be sad. My other cats, I know they love me but they don't really seem to notice or care when I cry, heh. So actually what you say is specifically true for the ones that are gone.

So... thanks. I appreciate it. :)

Thank you for your post, and I'm so sorry you had to lose a kitty too. :s I hope you have other pets still around to comfort you, because that's sure what's helping me the most right now. :I

...

And to the anonymous gifter who sent me the present - I hope you're reading this, because thank you! Your present was sweet and your words were great, too. I hope your kitties stay healthy for a long time to come. :x