i met someone 3 weeks ago and honestly, it feels like i've known them all of this life and a past life. we just clicked. 6 days ago i sent them something along the lines of how i felt like my feelings were snowballing too fast and if they felt even a smidgen of what i was feeling, to help me take it slow and support me in it (and of course they felt the same exact way and said they almost sent me a message of the same sort). our communication skills have been great so far on this, but i still feel like my emotions have no brakes on them. we skyped for 4 hours last night and literally i just... ah. i'm in over my head. i try to tell myself it's a chemical infatuation but i'm a hopeless romantic and want it to be more than that. anyways, any advice on what to do? how fast is too fast?

edit: i've decided to ask them out when i can safely use their desired pronouns without slipping up! this way i will have time to bond and i will feel like i will connect to them better. :^)

- There's no time you have to wait for certain milestones (ie: kissing, moving in together, etc.). It's whatever you both feel like it's right. And, you did the right thing to communicate how you feel and that they communicated with you as well.

If you both feel like moving fast, you should definitely start talking about more serious topics to really get to know each other. The sooner you two know as much as possible about each other, the sooner you two can determine life goals.

You're going to get a lot of backlash from people saying you're moving too fast, but ignore them if they're being closed minded about the situation. However, I will say keep yourself in check and take care of yourself first. Do not lose yourself while in love.

My fiance and I moved really fast as to compared to society's norms. We've been together 9 months. Giving you a few milestones of ours:

1. The day we met, we cuddled.
2. He asked me out the next day.
3. 1 week later, he kissed me for the first time.
4. 1 week after that, we met each other's families.
5. 2 months after meeting, we determined we want to stay with each other for the rest of our lives.
6. 4 months after meeting, we had sex for the first time.
7. 6 months after meeting, he proposed to me.
8. 9 months after meeting, we're working to move in together so we can get married.

We talked about our life goals, our deepest secrets and fears, our past, and pretty much everything you should discuss before marrying someone throughout the relationship. We've hung out nearly every day. So, we know we love to be together and we have nearly identical interests.

So, just be honest with each other and move at your own pace.

Honestly for me whatever you and your significant other are comfortable with, just go for it. There are really no time constraints on what is "fast". I talked with my significant other about a month or so before we met. (met him first on Ok Cupid) Met his dad about a day later, his mom about two months later. (was scared to meet his parents in fear of rejection) He met my parents the day we met. On the first day we met we cuddled, held hands, and kissed. About a month in, we made love for the first time. Now about 1 year and two months in, we are apartment searching and are going to move out about September/ October-ish. Hoping that maybe he will pop the question before that, but I don't have a problem waiting.

After 's post, I feel like I went super fast. Oh well, we were comfortable about what we have done so it really doesn't matter what other people think or society thinks.

I definitely agree about getting to know as much as possible about each other. Love comes from truly knowing and accepting someone, flaws and all. This undoubtedly takes time, however. Even if you're entirely transparent with each other starting from day one, you can only learn so much so fast. Some people don't even truly know themselves, so learning about a whole other person simply cannot happen overnight. Long story short? One can never be too sure if it's truly love or simply infatuation until after the honeymoon stage has ended; until then the sun still shines out their ass, and making any long-term decisions based on these feelings is just asking for trouble.

There's even more to consider the younger you are. The mid-twenties is when most people begin to get comfortable with the person they've become; until then, you're still growing as a person, and a lot can change in just a few short years. Your needs, wants and even your personality can shift and evolve significantly - and so can theirs. Some couples will grow together, but most won't be so lucky.

It's good you know that they feel much the same as you do, but I'd still advise erring on the side of caution. Letting your emotions run away with you is a real easy way to get yourself hurt. But that certainly doesn't mean stop; new relationships are always exhilarating and you should feel free to enjoy this stage - just try to not get too ahead of yourself.

That being said, each milestone will come at a different time for every relationship - there is no rulebook. For example: My husband and I had been sleeping together for months before we were even an official couple; we didn't become "official" until after we said our first "I love you"s. All very backwards by some people's standards.

In the end, only you and your partner can truly decide how fast you feel is appropriate for your relationship.

There is nothing wrong or abnormal with the way you are feeling! It sounds like a typical scenario when you find someone you really click with!

You will know if something is too fast or wrong on your own, but as far as how you are feeling I think its normal.

It has happened to me before, it's all so overwhelming in the beginning and I can see why you are a tad confused.

Just because its fast doesn't mean its bad or wont work!! Trust me, I think you are fine....if you feel uneasy with it just talk to him about it. Its for you two to decide ^-^

Good luck!

The only really important things are to communicate often and well, and to only do what you're comfortable with. So long as you two are open and honest, everything else should follow naturally :3

thank you so much, all of you. i just now decided on a whim to ask them out officially; it's been exactly 4 weeks since we met. not quite a month but 4 weeks. :^) it may have been wrong but it felt right so??

That sounds great! I hope it goes well with them!

- It felt right, so that's what matters. Good luck to both of you! :)

Best of luck to both of you! :) Remember to trust your gut.

Ah, so after reading your post edit and your second comment, it would seem I misinterpreted what it was you were actually asking. My bad, I apologize. In any case, I wish you two much happiness. =)

In all honesty, I slept with my SO on our first date. Next friday is our year anniversary. we're living together and pretty happy.

this guy was just going to be a rebound, and now I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I think it differs. Just go with whatever feels right.

how cute! New relationships that start to begin are so beautiful to me. Honestly, I don't think there's a thing as too fast. Unless someone knows someone for a week, and starts saying I love you, but that's just my honest opinion. You don't seem like that type of person, when I was reading the first post. Just do what you think is right, don't hold back because the person can be feeling the same way, and they're just scared and want you to make the first move. I realized that this is kind of an old post, so I was just wondering if there was any new news?

so far? no spectacular news! we are trying to raise $600 by february so they can come out to see me for prom. i'm also at that stage where i'm like, "i don't feel like i should say i love you yet, bc it should count the first time i say it."

It's only too fast if it feels too fast for you. Not any niggling doubt stuck at the back of your mind about whether it is 'right' (thanks social conditioning!), but your self.

Consider this: humans made up the notion of 'having a relationship'. Humans made up the 'proper' timeline for such things. You are a human. Therefore, surely you have a right to alter the made up concept so that it is comfortable for yourself? :P

I personally believe you did a good job being honest and open, both letting them know how you felt it was happening fast - but also when you asked them out. Sounds like you're a good match! Best of luck to you both c:

I can't say for you. If all you are doing is calling each other and hanging out and dating then no thats not too early :) However if you plan on moving in with each other I'd wait until the puppy dog phase wares off and see if you can still stand being in the same room together. Make sure its love and not an infatuation. Either way the only person who can say for sure if you are going too fast is you. Just do what feels right.

I can't say for you. If all you are doing is calling each other and hanging out and dating then no thats not too early :) However if you plan on moving in with each other I'd wait until the puppy dog phase wares off and see if you can still stand being in the same room together. Make sure its love and not an infatuation. Either way the only person who can say for sure if you are going too fast is you. Just do what feels right.

I'm going to be the party pooper that says there is something as taking things too fast. Don't go by other people's success stories. If you're just dating and talking and whatnot then that's fine. If you wanted to move in together after only knowing each other for a month then there'd be issues. <--those are examples. The puppy love/honeymoon/infatuation/lust filled stage makes everything seem all rosy and amazing and then reality kicks in...not to say reality is bad. Getting to know someone takes time. It takes years. Look forward to it. Enjoy it. Be prepared for the tough times and work on making yourself a better person as the relationship exposes your own flaws. I do wish the best for you.