[deleted] thank you so much to everyone who read this unnecessarily long post <3 i appreciate you all.

So sorry to hear about you situation! My first recommendation is to try www.mint.com to help with your money management. I use it and I love it. It helps me set budgets for necessities like food and bills and it will let me know when I'm close to going over budget. It's a really good visual tool to help you realize your spending habits.

If you find yourself in a bad spot like this, sit down and be honest with yourself about your spending habits. Once you pay your bills, grocery, rent, etc., you must have the discipline to save what you have leftover. Put it away and don't touch it. It doesn't matter if it's $5 or $500, saving this money will help you in the long run. For you Irk, my suggestion is to use any money you can save or have saved to start paying off the debt. I'm not an expert so of course take this advice as such, but this is what I would do in your situation. My first priority after paying all necessities would be to work down that debt. Look at all your bills and see if there are any you can cut. Do you have cable? If so, for a while is this something you could live without? Completely cut out fast food, restaurants, etc. Try to cook every meal at home. I personally can spend about $20 a week on groceries for myself, but if you're cooking for more than just you that would need to be adjusted.

Avoid using your credit cards. Your goal should be to decrease their balance from this point on. I would try to make over the minimum monthly payment.

For future reference and moving forward, here is what I do. I don't buy groceries or food with my credit card. Food doesn't last so I was taught to avoid using my credit card when making these purchases. When using a credit card, you want to be able to have the item you buy forever (theoretically). When you look at your credit card bill and it's $500 all on food, what do you have to show for it? Technically nothing. Yes, you are full but there is nothing tangible for you to show for that $500. I ALWAYS pay off my credit card balance at the end of the month and if you know you don't have the money to back it up, don't put in on your credit card. I was very fortunate to learn this at a very young age. If you don't pay off the entire balance at the end of the month, at least make more than the minimum payment. If you worry about going over budget at the grocery store, try using cash. You will be able to tell how much you have left and will be able to budget accordingly.

You'll have to make some sacrifices, but just know that it's all for a greater cause. If you find yourself struggling with an unnecessary purchase, just ask yourself if you need it. If the answer is no, put it back and tell yourself it's better for you in the long run not to buy it. This can be really hard, even for myself. We all have needs and wants and sometimes we think our wants outweigh our needs. Just remember food, shelter, water, health, and adequate clothing are all needs for survival. If it doesn't easily fall under one of those categories it's probably not something you need right now.

Whatever you do, please don't give up! I also recommend meeting with a professional debt/financial adviser. I can give you my best advice but I am not a professional.

Please don't hesitate to message me or ping me! Best of luck to you!

I totally feel you. I am in debt up to my ocular cavities as well. I have about $20k in students loans I'm sloooowly paying off - all for what basically amounts to an expensive piece of paper on the wall. I also have about $3k in credit card debt. Then I have a car payment and cell phone payment to make every month. Thankfully, I don't pay rent as I live with my parents. I admit, I am really no good at saving money. I thought I was...I had a few hundred I was starting a savings with, and then shit happened and I had to spend it and now I have no cushion other than the fact that I will not go lower than $100 in my checking account. I just got my first 'real' job as a receptionist this past January...at which point I decided it was worth it to get my first smartphone (which I really did need for work) and to trade in my 2002 Ford Taurus on a newer 2011 Ford Fiesta that was better on gas. I need to get a new computer too, so I can start freelancing graphic design projects, but I can't seem to save up. Something always seems to happen as soon as I start to get ahead. Being a responsible adult really sucks sometimes. It's like, we can't wait to grow up when we're younger, but as soon as we're grown up, we realize it really isn't that fantastic and free, lol.

I haven't accumulated that kind of debt (I never went to college or university myself), but I did have to learn about credit cards the hard way. Even still, I got off incredibly lucky, all things considered.

Mix together a shopping addiction with a minimum wage job and top it off with a (now ex) partner who often couldn't afford his half of the rent/bills and you have a disaster just waiting to happen. Thankfully when they called and offered to up my limit to $14,000 I had the good sense to say no.

Back then my folks were still getting some of my mail sent to their place, so when they noticed letters from a collection agency had started coming in with my name on 'em, it raised some alarms. They offered to pay it off in full (my family has always been comfortable, but by no means well off - so this was a big deal), and I knew that was my low point. I wanted so desperately to be independent and not have to go running to mommy and daddy when things got rough, and in the end I just made it worse by being too proud to admit I needed their help sooner. I vowed I'd never let it happen again.

This was some years ago now, and I haven't had a credit card since. I've also become a LOT smarter with money, but I'm always scared that it could easily get out of hand again. I do still have some issues with shopping, but I've been working really hard and have made significant improvements. Budgeting definitely helps; you allow yourself to shop a little so you don't go nuts, but it's money you know you can afford to spend. I've also learned to ask myself "do I really NEED this?" before I buy anything.

My husband did have some college debt, though. He only took a couple semesters in each of the two programs he tried (and dropped out of), but it still added up, and took a while to whittle down. He had most of it paid off by the time we were married, and as of last month it has been officially paid off in its entirety - so we're 100% debt free now. That being said, we don't own any cars or a house, so I'm sure that won't be the case forever. =P

Hopefully you can get this sorted out. I know there are people out there who can help in cases like this. Financial advisers, debt consultants? I've never really had to look into it myself, so I'm afraid I wouldn't even know where to start - but I do know there are services out there for people in your shoes.

Also, try calling your loan office/credit card company and talking to them about the situation. Sometimes they can help by lowering your interest rates or even lower the lump sum owing. It never hurts to ask, in any case.

In the meantime, make the changes in your spending habits now, as to not accumulate more debt. Also, get a handle on (at the very least) paying off your minimum monthly payments - but always aim for more. Just make sure you don't miss any payments or you'll drop more in the red.

I really wish I had more advice to give... Good luck.

I'm so sorry to hear about your situation - it must be really difficult and I know there are a lot of recent grads in the same boat. I have what I feel is a manageable amount of student loan debt, and I know that's really lucky. I keep paying the monthly payments (the interest rate is thankfully low because I had federally subsidized loans, or else I might alter my other habits to avoid the high interest) and I know eventually they will be paid off... It's gratifying to see the balance get lower each month, so that's something you can look toward.

I definitely second the recommendation for Mint. It helps me feel SO much more in control, because I can put my bank accounts, credit card, and loans all in the same place. Purchases go into categories which you set budgets for (it will make basic budget recommendations if you have no idea how much you should budget for, say, groceries) and you can get graphs and good visualizations of where you are for the month, or over time. I also love that it has an app, so you can check it while you're out and considering an impulse buy to see if you really have that in your budget or not.

My finances are not where I'd like them to be right now though, because I got married last week and weddings are fucking expensive (even though mine was small). I put sooooo many things on credit and it feels awful. I'm really looking forward to getting back to normal... and putting the credit card away for a while.

But honestly it sounds like you're doing well to realize you have a problem with certain kinds of spending instead of continuing to be blind to them. That's way ahead of lots of people.

I've heard good things about the "Debt Snowball" method for repaying loans. Basically, you pay extra towards your loans/credit cards/whatever that have the smallest balances, and just the minimum on everything else, so that those small ones will actually get paid off reasonably soon and you're actually clearing those off your list instead of continuing to pay the same bills over and over for what seems like forever.

Things are going to suck for a while... but you're not alone. Best of luck to you.

Get yourself a finance app. If you have a smart phone there are ones for both Android and iPhone. There are some great freeware ones. Ones that can even connect into your bank account, and ones where it's all manual. Mine is all manual, because I felt weird about using Mint (one of the top ones; it connects all your banks accounts). Plus my credit cards never update their online data immediately and Mint never pulled that in. With the manual app I have I have input everything by making 'account' lines for everything, from cash on hand, to in my safe, to my bank. If I transfer money I mark it. I buy something, the receipt is marked in there. Even if you make a spreadsheet.

It keeps you 100% accountable and really shows you where your money is. Before I started tracking I was paying my bills on time, etc. but I often heard myself say 'I'm broke'. I don't have to be broke, I learned that mighty quick. When I saw where I was blindly putting my extra cash it surprised me. Plus you're never confused. I can go shopping and think I've literally lost money because I forget how I've spent it. I also track my debt this way.

As difficult as this is for you, I think it's great you're posting about it. Money management is a topic not everyone knows. I have friends who only JUST figured out how to pay bills and they had to learn through the bank teller.

I'm going to be 21 in February so I guess I'm probably considered "older" than you. Sorry to hear about your situation. I am going for my PHD in Psychology so I will be having a lot more debt when I graduate (over 100,000) that I have to start making payments on after six months of graduating. I haven't paid any of my college loan yet, but I made sure before I went to college to pay off all my existing loans, so the only loan I have to pay back is going to be my college one. As for your questions:

1.)have you gotten yourself into/out of debt? I was out of debt before college even started (6 months before) but now that I'm in college I have debt again. If I didn't have bills I would for sure use the money I make at work to pay them off. (Only make enough for books, food, and rent. (I'll be moving to an apartment in the fall)

2.)how do you actually stick to a budget? My budget so far has been me just buying whatever the fuck I've wanted, but now that I've got an idea of moving to an apartment I'm becoming more tight on the money. For my budget, I calculated my monthly costs and put together what I made in month (roughly) and seen how much money I should be able to save back. (for emergencies and to do fun things in moderation) I just have to have a goal in mind, and then I get motivated to complete that goal.

3.) how can i start to "save" for things when it so seems pointless given how much i owe? Pay off your debt as soon as possible, but make sure to have enough money for food and all the bills you have. The longer it takes to pay your debt, the longer that interest is going to tack on and suck your money up. Then if you have any money left over, put that into a savings and use it for emergencies only. It might seem like a lot of debt but have hope, it could be so much worse.

I'm in debt too, but it's a manageable amount. I don't make good money (I work retail at two jobs, minimum wage). I've been in debt before and I managed to get myself out of it; however, it took me three years to pay off 4k. Every time I got a letter for a credit increase, I would take it and spend like crazy on my Visa, buying clothes. I have a horde of clothes... I don't wear half of them and I outgrew most of them (I gained a shit ton of weight). Now I need more clothes, it's a want I can't get rid of (I have to shop plus sizes). I gave my mom my credit card, but I use my debit card to make purchases online.

It's hard to get out of debt and most people who in it before, will be in it again--regardless of age (I'm older than you). I don't have advice for you, since I can't manage to save a damn penny.

I wish you luck! I'm currently paying off my card and will take another three years.

I feel your pain. I have a shopping addiction too. I need more clothes, I can't get enough of clothes. It's kind of uncontrollable.

I FEEL YOU. Allow me. Age: 25. Worth: -9K and some change.

Very similar to you, I've got credit cards. I'm in school. I'm in an apartment with my boyfriend. 2000 dodge neon. The nicest thing I own is probably my cell phone. Samsung Galaxy S5.

I'm working on it though. Because I've had my cards so long, my credit score is pretty good. FICO 777.

Here are some tips: Always pay more than the minimum every month. Even if it's just $5 more. Some banks actually record this and it can improve your credit! Start a 401K at every job you can. Even if it's just $10. Most jobs will match after a certain point. And so it's free money. It's money you can't touch until you quit or are fired, in which they may write you a check or transfer it to your next job. Don't close your credit cards! Part of you credit score is how lengthy your credit is... The longer you have them, the better. Get a lock box, put your cards in them, have a friend who doesn't know WHAT the box is, hold onto the key so you can't have access to it immediately. Start a savings, $10, $20 every check. Some banks match that too. But point is, you can use it as an emergency fund over your cards. If you have medical debt, talk to the hospital. They are usually pretty fair. Some charge no interest. Some will take a percentage off your bill when you set up a payment plan. Aim for the lowest payment you can. I pay $40 a month. Medical bills CAN AFFECT YOUR CREDIT.

And a lesson I learned the hard way, NEVER CO SIGN FOR A FRIEND.

Debt really sucks. Thankfully, I am just over a thousand dollars and I've already paid off some good chunks of it. c: Just gotta keep at it and lately I've been trying to have better budget managing. Also, saving little by little at least gets you to something at some point and you can keep paying off your debts and set small goals for yourself. c: