((No longer need advice or input on this relationship and the topic can be locked.))

To me, that's totally flirting. Like, blatantly so. Have you listed these things off to him and told him you're not okay with it and your husband isn't either? I think the two of you should sit your friend down and tell him it's not okay. It looks like he might be into both of you, actually.

I agree with . That's blatant flirting, and really not okay. If I was your husband, I'd be really concerned (and probably pissed) too. It's best to talk to your friend and tell him his behavior is not okay, and if he continues, to distance yourself from him before he tries to get between you two in the relation ship. If your husband is already so concerned about this as you suggest, then your friend has already succeeded in opening a gap in your relationship. Don't let him do that. Close the gap quickly, and if that means losing a friend in the process, I'd do it. Generally, husband=more important than friend. That's my opinion, anyway. I hope you get it resolved quickly. :/

This is total flirting! No ifs ands or buts about it. At my job to get behind the counter is a tight squeeze and I still think at most you maybe end up touching butts with your coworker, the fact this guy is like not keeping it minimal or even waiting to get to the area he thinks he needs in is blatant "I need to find a reason to touch you". Your husbands concerns are well founded. I myself have friends I horseplay with and it never goes as far as what this guy is doing to you. Even when I was dating I made sure things were kept in specific areas, if they went to touch my boobs or butt deliberately I would chew them out. Hell I still would if I found it unwelcome from any person.

My bigger red flag though is WHY was he going through the phone? I get if he needed to make a call, but making a call =/= going to a photo gallery.

So you always allowing him to do this is telling him it's ok. Has your husband brought EVERYTHING to this friends attention? It's one thing to say "hey this seems odd" but it becomes another when he tells that friend "hey when you touch my wifes butt I would really rather prefer you don't touch her like that" and see how the friend reacts to it? If he gets defensive that's a red flag, if he says he's sorry and didn't realize it bothered your husband so much then you guys can talk and come to a level of what is and isn't ok anymore.

I agree with everyone on this board - this man is blatantly flirting with you. This is a serious offense, as he is disrespecting both you and your husband. If y'all would like to continue a friendship with this man, then y'all need to discuss a game plan and bring up the subject with the friend in a serious setting. Your relationship is (I'm assuming) more important than this friendship. In all honestly, he's not even being a good friend to the two of you.

Whether or not it's genuine flirting is kind of hard to tell, to be honest. Sometimes people have playful relationships with one another, and it doesn't mean much beyond that (I myself have had many 100% platonic friendships that have sounded similar to this). It is, however, a little hazy on how much could be considered "just playful" when it's between opposite genders (when they're hetero or at least bi, in any case). It can also mean different things to different people; for you it may just be fun and games, but to him it could mean more. At the same time he could be telling the truth; it could just be that he's more playful than your husband is comfortable with.

Regardless of his intent, the important part is how said behaviour makes you and your husband feel. You never mentioned if his behaviour makes you uncomfortable, but we do know it does upset your husband, at the very least. So, if he respects you and your marriage, asking him to step it back a bit shouldn't be out of the question.

I would suggest your husband be the one to initiate this conversation with him, though. It's gonna sound sexist, but he's likely to take the request more seriously if it comes from him first. You are going to have to back it up, though - otherwise he may just think your husband is speaking out of jealousy and without your knowledge. Also, if he agrees and stops his playful behaviour, know that you're going to have to, too; lest he get the wrong impression and think all's fine again. Long story short? You'll have to put your foot down if you want it to stop.

You should also take a moment to reassure your husband of your own feelings and intents; about him, about the friend, and how this situation makes you feel. Make sure he understands that, regardless of how this friend may or may not feel about you, it doesn't change the way you feel about your husband. This friend is clearly bringing up feelings of insecurity for him, so make sure you're reassuring him that he's your one and only.

Thank you for your opinions. We (my husband and I) really appreciate it. We're both just so socially awkward we weren't really sure how to take the behavior. My husband and I will discuss what we feel needs to be done. I've definitely focused on reassuring my husband and have discussed my and his feelings on the matter. Thank you all again. Sorry if the question seemed stupid! -hotfox♥

It wasn't stupid at all. Good luck! <3

Good luck with this. It's never easy to have to choose when it comes to friends and family. Did you know this friend before you got married? In that case, remind your husband - you chose him, not your friend, and given the choice, you wouldn't change a thing.

It wasn't stupid at all. I wish you all the best.