Sooo after 2.5 years with my BF he left me. Less than a week later he had a new GF and well it's just not good for me. He claims it wasn't me, that I was wonderful to him. That he felt like he was holding me back in life, that he wasn't a nice person... I'm fairly sure if he were bad I'd have found the door myself. I'm so hurt by his leaving me because TWO days before he had texted me how he can't picture life without me, that I'm his forever... And to top it off we're lease stuck :/

Anyhow...

One of my co-workers has suggested I just like try to flirt with guys online but I'm not sure about it. For one my relationship ended just a bit over two weeks ago so I'm still feeling raw and hurt, more so when my now ex pretty much flaunts the new girl in front of me and thinks she and I should be friends. For two I've never used online anything for personal things besides amazon to buy cell phone cases so yeah... For three I'm working two jobs so some days I merely get like 3 hour naps between places.

I guess first off is it a good idea to flirt when I'm not feeling so into it? I'm a long term kind of person so I'd want something better than a 2 week fling, is such a thing possible? Should I even be considering this at all, I mean I don't go to bars or much of anything lately because of my two jobs...

I guess maybe what I'm asking as a noob to the online dating world what are some good do's and don't's?

Honestly? Don't.

Right now you're too vulnerable. A little flirtation can be nice for the ego if it's harmless, but right now you're in prime condition to get hurt; maybe even hurt someone else, should they get the wrong impression.

Focus on taking care of yourself. After ending a long-term relationship, it's much better if you take some time to reacquaint yourself with you. Relearn who you are as an individual, and not just one part of a pair. Reevaluate what it is you want out of life, and think about the type of person you might eventually want to share it with.

If you don't feel you're ready yet, trust your instincts. You'll know when you are.

It's gonna be rough for a while, but that's okay. Let yourself mourn this relationship; but, at the same time, don't let it consume you. And, if it's at all possible, get out of that apartment (or get him out?). There are ways around leases. If it's a two+ bedroom, find a roommate to sign the lease over to. If it's just a one bedroom, try and find a co-signer you can have sign with whoever remains (a parent, maybe?), if needed - otherwise just have the leaving party sign off and the other would become sole leaseholder (assuming they earn enough to satisfy your landlord). If none of those options are possible, sublet it. No matter what happens, you need to make sure you no longer live together. This whole process is going to be increasingly more painful the longer this goes on for, so act quickly.

I'm sorry you're going through this... If you ever need to talk, I'm here. <3

I wholeheartedly agree with

It is way too early to jump into something else, trust me. You will just compare everything about a new person to your old one... and that is never good. While maybe a little flirting could be nice and make you feel better a tad bit, its not likely to end up well at this point.

Take some time to yourself and be free for a bit and let all of your heartache out. Dont go jumping with any guy that gives you a little attention because you could keep getting hurt!!

Once you take just a bit of time to yourself.. id say it would be safe to have fun ^-^

I would give you tips just in case you still wanted to try.... but knowing my online love didnt work out I am probably not very useful xD

Much luck and love to you!

Thank you both for your input! I thought of it and yeah for me I'm still too raw, hurt over the way things ended. The fact I placed so much on being with him, the fact he promised he wanted me for forever and then walked away from it two days later is pretty bad.

I would at this point like to be elsewhere, but facts and reality is we have a roommate and no combination of two of us can support this place, to change someone out on the lease wouldn't renew it either. So then stems the other issue that if say my ex wanted to switch out of the lease with someone else taking his place the lease still goes forward and few people I know would want to rent a living room for the next like 6(ish) months on a lease they didn't get to start up.

As far as the online scene goes I'm still sketchy on it. It just seems so bad when you see stories where someone sees a profile, comments the person, person is busy, within a few hours the profile went from pretty to being a fat lazy slut or other bad things to call people :/ Like do people need to put reminders their phones AREN'T glued to hands and they do things like work and have some kind of life without computers or phones?

When my ex boyfriend straight out rejected me after we have been dating 3 years, it took me about that time to actually heal. I made so many mistakes along the way. I spiraled into a deep depression, it took me awhile to get out of the hole. If the breakup was as bad as mine, I would suggest going to talk to a councilor/ psychologist of some sort. I was in denial that I needed help but when I got someone to understand my feelings, it was a weight off my shoulders. Don't rush into a relationship if you are not ready, take some time to mend the damage of the last relationship you were in. Time heals all wounds.

I was VERY attached to this man. Like when he said it was over I threw up and collapsed! I didn't sleep for 40 hours either... I went to planned parenthood for my yearly exam and the doctor did suggest I talk to someone about this. She suspects I have some anxiety and grief over it and did recommend a place to get an appointment with, my issue is I currently hold two jobs, both part time, so getting time to sit and make an appointment is tough. One I plan to make no mistake about it, just tough.

Also he and I had a heart to heart of our own and we both still are in love with eachother. Oddly though with this last talk it was like a weight was taken away because I heard from HIM directly how he feels, it was almost like I had been waiting on permission to start feeling better? Idk how to describe it other than that. After that talk everything just hurts far less and I'm not all "men are evil and suck balls". I just can't fathom how you go from still loving someone, promising them a future, to it's over romantically and yet still in love while dating another person?

Also thanks for chatting with me about this. It's really good to have an outsiders view.

It will defiently help you talking to someone, don't hold off on it like I did. That's how my ex was he said he still loved me too, and then a while later starts to date another girl, like I meant nothing to him at all. It is very hard to love someone else when you have thought about a future together, you really can't see yourself with any one else. No problem, glad I helped!

Oh boy, I want to hug you :(

I'm glad you two talked it out, it's better to end on mutual terms than feeling gut wrenched in the midst of a panic attack. Like everyone here has mentioned, don't start dating yet. I think online especially, since you're new to the concept and such. People hunt girls and guys that are down and easily manipulated for gains either financial or "pleasurable" real life or online.

The important thing is that firstly, you need to get out of there. Everything around you is a big slap in the face while you're home and that's not fair to you. If you're worried about hurting the others in the house financially, well, maybe your ex shouldn't have brought a new GF over in front of you DAYS later.

When you're all settled, you should make a list of things you'd like to do/start in your spare time. Being single is a great time for exploring yourself and your interests! The money you would spend treating your ex to a meal could go on a trip to the gym or maybe saved and take your tushie to the spa with a girlfriend? Now really is the time to make a "Boys suck" playlist on your iphone and expel all the negative energy he's making you feel. Sing the songs, take up a kick boxing class, take up a new hobby that you can do in your down time. Basically, keep busy ^^ My personal favorite? A hot bubble bath with scented candles and youtube clips/music while I soak.

Then, when you're feeling more at peace with yourself, you will find that people will be drawn to that :) You might not have to look online, maybe go out with the girls - get all dolled up or maybe you met someone at that metaphorical kick boxing class ;)

As for the online tips, not that you should really use them now. But I suggest meeting people online through sites that allow friendship first. Or videogames? Dating sites have a LOT of catfishers, scammers and men/women with infidelity. MAKE SURE they have the ability to video call you through skype or other means. And only take their photos with a grain of salt :) People who make excuses as to why they can't video call you are either not who they say they are, or are anxious. It's up to you to make the decisions. c:

I'm really sorry for what you're going through. Try to take care of yourself, and do what makes you feel comfortable and right - you DEFINITELY don't have to be his new girlfriend's friend, especially not at this point! It blows my mind that someone would even ask that of you tbh. My ex was a scumbag and it still took me months to get over him because he filled my head with so much "you're my best friend, only you forever blah blah" talk.

As far as online dating sites, I really liked (and found a ton of success with, holla) OKCupid! You'll meet a lot of people you can just chat casually with, there are lots of sweet, shy boys and girls, and it's easy to block/report jerks (I've had a few guys get salty about me not replying FAST ENOUUUGH, but being able to block them, it wasn't as scary as I thought it'd be). As someone who doesn't care for going to bars, and didn't figure I'd meet anyone ideal for me there anyway, it was really perfect. I started using it and found someone I'm crazy about in about a month, plus had the chance to get out of the house and go on dates. I definitely think you should trust your instincts though - I was too raw to try doing something like that for a while. Eventually though, after just doing me for a while, it felt good & necessary to remind myself there were other people out there that would want to be with me and not treat me badly. I am sure you'll get there too.

Tip: don't date online. Why? Most of the time you'll only find weirdos on online dating apps/sites. You're better off looking for someone irl, but since you just got out of a relationship I don't think you should rush into any other thing because 1) it's going to be only for replacement and 2) even worse, who knows who you'll stumble into online?

Forget online dating. There are too many who only looking for a one night stand and so on and not really for a relation. Too much datingsites are abused on this way.

Actually it's better to don't date at all, neighter in real life nor on the internet.

Advice to make new friends and be less alone: Join a hobbyclub, follow a curse which has got your interests. Talk more often with your neighbours and enjoy for the little things at this moment. Take it simple.

That is just the worst, getting dumped and your ex moving on that fast, what a jerk. Anyway, since you don't have much free time online dating can be a start to moving on. Nothing wrong with flirting online to get your mind off of things. If you start liking someone, don't be naive. There are catfish or people who pretend to be someone they're not out there. Keep your guard up. Always listen to your guy too. If something doesn't feel right end it. And NEVER give out any personal information. Even if you think you can trust someone online, it's best not to, you just never know.

Good Luck!