I've been living with my boyfriend's family for 3 years now. Everything has been fine up until earlier this year. My boyfriend's family is full of people who smoke weed. His cousins, brother, and aunt all do it, and since I don't agree with it, it gets annoying at times, but it has been something I can deal with. Until recently, that is. I found out earlier this year that his 15yo cousin, who stays here during the weekends, is smoking weed as well and she has been since she was 13.

Not only this, but she smokes cigarettes, drinks alcohol, and has taken acid. I've had a problem with this for a long time now and I'm absolutely disgusted by it. The worst parts of this include the fact that nobody around her discourages her from dong it, including her parents who smoke weed with her, the fact that she has a 9yo sister who is going to learn that this behavior is okay and follow in their footsteps, and the fact that the girl is only 15 years old and already she is having problems with her lungs and has developed smokers cough. On top of this, her mom treats the younger sibling like shit. She curses in front of her, yells at her, refuses to help her with her homework, tells her she's annoying and doesn't want to be around her, and just generally treats her as if everything she says means nothing and that her existence is a plague on her.

It saddens me to know that the older teen is ruining her life and her parents are encouraging it, and that the younger sibling is being raised in such an environment and having to deal with emotional trauma, and I've threatened to call the police on them before only to be threatened by the aunts sister that they would ruin my life. I can't keep standing by while this abuse happens but I'm conflicted about reporting it to human services because of what might happen to me if they find out I reported it, and because of the fact that this is my boyfriend's family and I would be tearing them apart.

I don't know what to do, but sitting by doing nothing isn't cutting it anymore.

I can relate to this.

I would report the shit out of them. Not only are they taking part in illegal behavior, but they're teaching children to do the same. Not to mention the poor 9-year-old girl. And the 15-year-old can still change her ways - she should probably be in a juvie detention center or mandatory counseling and drug rehab. Your speaking up might be the only way any of them can get any help. Yes, they might be pissed at you now, but in the long run they will thank you - especially the younger ones.

I've already talked to my boyfriend about it, and the girls mother. It doesn't help. My boyfriend feels the same way but doesn't think it's his place to do anything about it.

That's how I feel, that it would help them all in the long run. They need to learn that this can't keep going on but that's not going to happen unless they're punished for it. The cycle has to stop somewhere. I feel like either way I'm gonna feel guilty, whether I report them or not, but someone has to step up.

Well, whichever you decide, good luck. I hope everything turns out well for all involved.

I'd feel safe in reporting them. It's great that your boyfriend seems concerned, but he's obviously not acting on it. And if the mom doesn't care, then the only thing to do is to report them. It'd be better in the long run for the kids, especially the 9 year old. I'm not concerned about tearing the family apart because they've allowed this situation to happen. It's not safe for the kids.