So... What do I do? I'm 17, 18 in a few months, if that's important. A curious fact, I'm pansexual, or something like that, I'm not sure by myself, I feel more attracted to women phisically, but usually I just care about how the person really is. He's bisexual and preffers women. I'm now in the university, he's on it as well.

Well, when we began dating 8 months ago, I never noticed he was so jelous, but now... He gets angry if I talk about male friends, i hve to tell him if I'm going somewhere with a guy, etc. This is getting really annoying...

And... Today, I don't know if this was my bad or not.

A girl of my career told me a friend of her needed some help, I asked wich kind of help, and she told me it was urgent and about photography. I agreed now knowing what it was. I went into the room, thet applied make up on me and gave me a shirt and a beanie. Eveyrthing was normal. And then I asked (after waiting for like an hour) what I was going to do. They told me I had to be a lesbian. I thought I just had to act like one even thought I had no idea of what I was going to do. Nope, they brought another girl in the room. I had to take pictures with her about some anti-homophobe thing, the poses includded: Hugging her (with the rainbow flag around us) Hugging her with her head resting on my chest (with the flag) A weird one... Holding the flag with one hand... And doing a sissor thing with the other one, ogether with her.

I had absolutely no idea I'd be doing that really... But well... At one time, noe guy told me "KISS HER!". Then they asked her if she's be fine with that. Turns out she wasn't heterosexual either, and she said that it would be fine. I rejected, and they insisted once. I said "I have a boyfriend" and then they stpped. But... Well, we finished taking the photos... AND THEN they told me THIS PHOTOS WERE SO GOOD! WE ARE GONNA UPLOAD THEM ON OUR PAGE! Well... Darn... I told him a girl from photography asked me to be a model and that I had no idea of what I'd be doing. He said it was fine and that is sounded like a good experience to lose my fear (he knows I'm scared about cameras and stuff). I told him as soon as it was over what we did... And he didn't liked it. I mean, he was a bit angry and didn't liked the idea at all, that I was pretending to be in love with a girl and stuff...

Well, he wants to see the photos, yes, he knows hat they are, and I'm scared for some reason. Should I?

He said, once, he'd "like" me to try with a girl he had in mind. He's my first boyfriend and my first relationship. He said he'd like that so I coud tell if what I feel for him is really love BUT THAT'S THE STUPIDEST THING I'VE HEARD. Jesus, we've been together for more than 8 months. Today while I hugged and looked at her, it felt nothing like what I feel with him. I'm worried. He's jelous, and I had no idea about the photoshoot, I'm not a model, they just asked for my help.

I feel stupid and lost. I don't want him to be so jelous. Maybe this time he had a reason? I don't know. I'm not jelous at all so this is all really weird... What should I do? I don't want to end thi relationship at any cost...

- It sounds like he has insecurity issues. Or, he is hiding something. If he truly loves you and believed you truly love him, he would have no need to be jealous.

This statement says a lot: "He said, once, he'd "like" me to try with a girl he had in mind. He's my first boyfriend and my first relationship. He said he'd like that so I coud tell if what I feel for him is really love BUT THAT'S THE STUPIDEST THING I'VE HEARD."

It sounds like he wants to see girl on girl action to fulfill a sexual fantasy. And, you do recognize his statement about finding out if it's about love is stupid, so that's good.

My ex would also get jealous when I talked about other guys, even if it was just a classmate that did something funny in front of the whole class. It turns out he was hiding something... It's painfully obvious now. I don't know what he was hiding, but it was something. Both my fiance and I think he was cheating on me.

"I don't want to end thi relationship at any cost... "

...Is exactly what I said about my ex. He was my first boyfriend.

The thing about first boyfriends is you don't know what your needs are, so you want to stay with what you grown comfortable with. You may feel like you won't find anyone else if you leave him, but you will definitely find many other people interested in you.

Especially in college, you don't want anyone to tie you down. It's the time to explore who you are. And, if you're getting annoyed at him getting so jealous, you need to rethink the realtionship. Do you really want someone to stop you from having friends in college?

Talk to him first about his jealousy. If you feel his response is negative, then again, rethink the relationship.

Sounds like a very weirdly sexually loaded anti-homophobia thing tbh - who knows what they'd asked of you next if you had agreed to the kiss. I'd be very wary of where these pictures end up if I were you. However, you did not know what you were getting into, and therefore I don't think there's any good reasons for him to get mad about it - I hope he didn't anyway. Besides, he's the one with the creepy girl-on-girl fantasy, to which I'm super glad that you can see the bullshit in his "you'll know if you love me" crap, which in itself is very offputting.

Are you his first girlfriend/first relationship? I agree with . 8 months or not, it's important that you ask yourself if you're happy this way, or if you want to continue being annoyed because of his jealousy. His jealousy makes it seem like he doesn't think he can trust you, which is one of the most important things about a relationship. Sit him down like adults and talk about how it makes you feel when he stifles you like that with his seemingly unreasoned anger. If he responds angrily or tries to make it seem like it's your fault, he is not worth your time. Remember, you don't owe him anything.

I hope you can use this advice, and that this is not a super outdated issue now, haha. Good luck with everything :)

You're young enough yet that you can walk from this and do better just doing for you than trying to appease him.

To me the red flags I saw are: 1)Dislikes you have male friends. It's going to happen that you'll make friends all through life male and female alike. As people we need interactions, and if a partner is jealous/ upset with no good reasoning other than the persons gender, then it is time to think about things. However if these said friends keep trying to hog all your time or hang all over you all the time then a bit of concern from a partner is understandable. Your situation however doesn't sound like that, it sounds more like "MALE FRIENDS? NO MINE HISS"

2)He wants you to experiment with a girl of /HIS/ choosing to see how you "really" feel about him? Fuck that shit! If you were to ever "experiment" with another person wouldn't make more sense to have it be someone you hit it off with or can feel ok even being around? Nothing can come from "experimenting" if someone chooses for you who it'll be, how are you going to know what you want/ like if another is pretty much forced into it? Nobody wins in that situation. It sounds like one of my exes who wanted me to make out with girls for /HIS/ entertainment. Best way I got him to stop was to tell him I would if he'd make out with another guy for 15 minutes haha (he was a homophobe but got off on lesbians).

3)This one gets to me the most. You were helping a friend out, and granted you could have asked a few more questions, but he reacted like it was disgusting. Ummm hello if you claim to be bi-sexual then someone making photos for what sounds like LGBT shouldn't bother you. It bothered him, you have to ask yourself why if you guys are as open about being with people as you are (as in liking men and women both not like an open relationship). Why was he so supportive of you saying you were modeling to help a friend and it could have been anything, but the moment you said it was with rainbows and another girl all of a sudden he got upset?

I myself can get VERY upset at my BF for allowing girls to take up too much of his time or demand he go do things for them or try to fake issues to get him to drop everything and run over to them. He's got a big heart and thinks he's helping them, but once I say "ok in this past week how often have you gone to their home or they come here EVERY time they called saying (they got into a fight with their BF, claim they want to hurt themselves, ect ect) vs having even one dinner with me" it causes him to think about it and how they are manipulating him. Most of these girls it's clear as day the kind of game they are trying to play, one even flat out asked him if she left her BF would he leave me. He also treats each gender of his friends differently when they have issues (which honestly gets to me) take any situation that ANYONE can experience, if it's a guy friend of his he has a few beers with them and some movies then all is ok. The girls (and he lets them, not sure why) however take it upon themselves to keep calling and crying because they know he'll listen, so instead of one day of hanging out they keep trying to push it (the game playing ones anyways) until I get mad. I try to stay out of his friendships as he does to mine, but we both will pull the other aside if someone seems like they want more than friends and talk about it. There's ZERO things wrong with having opposite gender friends, however if they keep coming over demanding your SO's time and efforts that's a time to raise a red flag. Your situation sounds more like he's insecure or (i hope not) overly obsessive which can turn into possession.

I say sit back and write a HONEST list of pros and cons to this guy, how has he affected your life? Ask a good friend to help you figure it out, a good friend will be honest even if you feel bad. I feel like your cons will outweigh the pros.

Drop this loser and allow yourself to have a good college age experience. Make friends, panic due to exams coming up, go do goofy school events, be scared at not knowing if you passed at a semesters end ect ect. You should NEVER have to feel scared of making friends because of a boyfriend.

It sounds like you know his behavior isn't healthy, and that's good. To me, you don't seem to be in the wrong here. You've both been on the same page about each other's sexuality, which is awesome. Except he seems to take it as him being bisexual is trendy and cute while you possibly identifying as bisexual or pansexual means you'll leave him for another guy or just want to hook up with just about anyone. Which is not okay.

First, to address the jealousy issues. Tell him in no uncertain terms that you are your own person and allowed to have friends of any gender. He does not get to pick and vet your friends. He is not your parental figure, and you are not a child. You are both in a committed relationship, together, and he needs to act like it. Unless the friends in particular have a history of trying to take advantage, manipulate, or otherwise cause harm to you then he has zero say. Being born with certain genitalia does not inherently make you a bad person unworthy to have friends. Being a controlling jerk to the person you claim to love is not okay, and I wouldn't want someone like that in my life.

Second, the whole "try things with a girl he has in mind" thing is a waste of time. Doubly so because "How will you know if you truly love me?" is in the same vicinity. Both sentences are red flags on their own. By using them together, it just sounds like he's trying to use your photo shoot as a means to guilt you into a threesome with a girl you may or may not find attractive, although he almost certainly does find her attractive, so that he can fulfill a fantasy without feeling as if he's cheating on you. Chances are, if this imaginary event ever occurred, it would involve him mostly paying attention to her instead of everyone participating equally.

Finally, he sounds like a controlling jerk. Not wanting you to go out with male friends? Getting upset about the photoshoot only after you told him it was LGBT with another girl? Trying to guilt you into sex with a girl of his choosing? Something smells fishy. Eight months may seem like a long time, especially with your first boyfriend, but sometimes it doesn't work out. That's okay. If you think it's worth trying to salvage, sit him down and talk about boundaries. Bring up some of the points mentioned in this thread. Tell him how his actions make you feel and allow him to express his feelings too. Then set boundaries about what is okay and what is not okay. Compromise on some things is to be expected, but it's unreasonable for him to restrict who you can be friends with or what activities are acceptable to help your friends with solely based on theme. College is about having fun, not having another parental figure down your neck all the time.

honey please break up with him. he is not a good boyfriend. you will not be happy if this relationship continues. people like him dont change their behavior, trust me, i have been through this before. get out while you can!!!!

I know his behavior isn't healthy, and that it hurts me sometimes, but I truly love him, Is not just a first love thing, I really, really do. We discovered he has this mental illness? (sorry, my first language isn't english) that makes him have hallucinations, incredibly jelous, insecure of himself, paraonic... Etc. Well, now I know why he's bee acting this way but... I think the relation is going to be really hard, but when he is "normal" he's the most amazing person I could ever ask for.

Then he needs to keep seeking treatment for it. If he refuses, nothing will change. If he is given medication, he needs to take it as prescribed and keep taking it. If he is going to therapy, he needs to keep going. It's the only way he may be the "normal" that let's him be amazing, as you put it. If he does not seek treatment and refuses help, there is only so much you can do. He has to want to change and get better. Even if you love him, you need to do what is best for you, not for him.

These things do not pop up over night. They also do not go away over night. You two do still need to talk things out and make boundaries. Do not let him use his symptoms as a means for him to say, "Well, I'm paranoid you'll do something so you can't have male friends." That's not fair. That is not how relationships work. None of the advice so far, at least that I've given, changes except that if you both want to make this work then he needs to seek treatment and continue to do so. That is the only way his behavior will change if it is indeed caused by his mental illness.

Is he seeking help for this? It's of course very tragic if it's true, it just sounds sort of convenient that he should suddenly find a reason to excuse any and all past and future erratic actions on his so-called illness. It just reads a bit like an easy way for him to not have to take responsibility for anything he does.

Even if he is sick, you should still consider if it's something you can deal with in the long run. It can be extremely exhausting to be around mentally unstable people for long periods at a time. I am aware that you say you love him, but if he's broken like that, he can only be "fixed" and get closer to "normal" if he himself deals with his issues. You shouldn't be the one getting the short end because he can't control himself. That's not how relationships should work.

I also stick by the advice I gave earlier. If he really is mentally ill, I hope he gets the treatment he needs.

Edit: That last phrase, it does come off a bit harsh, but honestly I couldn't have said it better myself :)

- I agree with FieryVortex and Sound completely. Medication and therapy are what he needs. If he refuses, then you need to leave him for your own sake.

Your relationship sounds so much like my first boyfriend's. While he may or may not have had some sort of mental illness, he had majorly low self esteem and got jealous if I mentioned any other guys. He was also emotionally abusive and somewhat sexually abusive. I suggested therapy for him, but he refused. I tried everything to make him feel like he was awesome and that I really did love him. Nothing worked, and he said I was a terrible person and everything was my fault when I broke up with him.

So, speaking from experience, you really need to stop being blinded by love. I know I sound harsh, but I hate to see others go what I've gone through. Even to this day, I'm not fully recovered from the things I had to deal with in the relationship, and it's been 10 months since the break up.

Well, at least you know that he cares and loves you. And if he is so overprotective is because he doesnt want anything to happen to you. Being jealous is normal, and you say that he has some mental illness which inrceases the amount of jealousy in him. Is he being treated? I wish you lots of good luck, I love your work. Just remember this: If he hurts you on purpose, then you should hurt him, but if he hurts you by accident, try to understand him, Im sure you have also hurt him before by accident and Im sure he forgives you for all of that. ❤

This. As someone who loves her boyfriend deeply and has put up with insane amounts of emotional manipulation, gaslighting, guilt tripping, jealousy and heart ache, if he doesn't try to help himself then your relationship will honestly start to fall apart. No matter how hard I tried to make it easy for my bf, everything I ever did was thrown back in my face or dismissed.

Sound is beyond right, take her words in to consideration. My mental health took blow after blow and I'm left pretty vunerable and incredibly down the past few months. I definitely wouldn't want anyone to feel this way, you included love.

Because you feel like you don't want to end it, that's not a good sign. It's not healthy to hang on to something toxic.