Hello. As you can see here, I'm still struggling with my life and how hard it hits me. I feel as if I can't shake it off and move on, and I feel as if I can't get anyone who understands what I'm truly going through. Here are the full details...

School

When I first got into high school, I've been having trouble with my work, and I thought it was due to ADD, or Attention Deficit Disorder, so I asked my mom if I could see me doctor, but I waited two months, and I thought that she didn't care what I was goimg through, so I just bothered her till she fessed up, and she took me to the doctor, and that was the day I was diagnosed with depression. I didn't let it bother me too much, but my grades wouldn't go up, and that's when I felt the devastating effects. Ever since I got into high school, I haven't been able to do my work to the best of my ability, and the work keeps piling on, like an ant mound. I've been trying to keep up, but the work wouldn't stop piling, and that's when I really hit the limit...

Depression

Over a year after I was diagnosed with depression, I have been in and out of therapy, and I still felt the same as I was after I was diagnosed. I've been taking meds, but they still don't fix me, and I'm getting worse and worse. Furthermore, people who I know or whom I talked to are getting annoyed of my constant worrying, and have called me lazy due to my lack of effort. My mom and stepdad refuse to talk with me about my problems, because they think that it's getting annoying, leaving only myself, and myself only to figure out my problems, and that has caused more disastrous events to happen. I've also been blocked by many users due to this, aforetold that I would lose friends to my depressive state, and I only came to this site to make friends, and not to make any enemies

The thing is that you have to work on yourself and be invested in yourself. You could invest million of dollars in therapy and medication, but if you are not willing to help yourself? It won't work. Nothing will work. There is ressource for you, especially for teens nowadays. How old are you? Counselors are here to help. Your doctor/therapist can write a paper certified that you need to have a low workload, they will accept.

At this point, it's excuses pilling up.

If you're truly wanting the help, you'll make the effort to get to the doctor yourself. If you can't see your regular doctor, see the school nurse and explain the situation. But honest to god, at this point its like you enjoy being depressed. You've been here for over a year and I have never once seen you go a day without talking about sad you are or how depressed you are. Yes, depression can be debilitating and brutal but it can be overcome.

I'd also like to point out that no matter how many times anyone says this to you, you just go "I know" and ignore the advice then start over again the next day of how depressed and sad you are. We have suggested numerous things for you to do and honestly, I doubt you've done anything that was suggested. More than half the time I think you're full of crap and playing everyone for sympathy. I have been depressed for a very, very long time and I can tell you from experience someone who is truly, 100% depressed, is not going to go out of their way to tell everyone about it. They don't want people to know about it, they want it to be kept private so people don't look at them differently than they already do. While every case is different, in my experience the only people who will flip a situation around to being suicidal to get negative attention off him and talk every day about how sad and depressed they are someone who is just looking for a sympathy card and a pat on the butt.

I do sincerely hope you get the mental help you need because whether you're faking it or its real, you definitely need it.

Wait... diagnosed over a year ago, but started meds 4 months ago? Something doesn't add up here. :/ As I asked in comments, what medication are you on? How old are you? These can be important things when dealing with depression.

You should try an aromatherapy massage, or just buy your own essential oils - here - and mix 12 drops with 2 oz of lotion. Inhale 3 breaths of the lotion then apply it anywhere you have skin.

Article about aromatherapy

I wish I could say I'm fooling around, but sadly, no. Every day, I try my best to work hard, not for me, but for everyone else. I try my best to work hard to achieve the highest position possible: a mature, well-rounded individual. Every day, I try my best to fix what's wrong, but no matter what, I still have a screw loose, and every day, I think to myself: what's wrong with me? I'm not a trickster, nor feigning this. All this is real, honest to goodest RL problems. I wish I could fix what's wrong, but problem is, I can't always find a good outlet. My parents are tired of it, and my teachers and counselors sure as heck can't fix it. I can't fix it on my own either. I'm all alone on this now, and I feel as if everyone I know and love is either sick of me or sick of my sadness. I don't want no sympathy, but just someone to talk to, because I'm not a guy with many friends. I'm not malicious, vile, inconsiderate, or whatever you may call me, but just a loyal, honest, kind, outgoing guy who simply wishes no more than to be in peace and to be stronger than I am now. I only wish to be a guy who's admirable, serious, mature, and loveable, but how can anyone love me if I act so high-strung and bitter.

Sexy, I'm not a bad guy, but I have so many negative things flying around in my head so often, I get really wound up and hurt myself. This stems from my stressful past, despite my optimism back then, and my current situation with having to balance out what's going on in my life, as you may have heard before. I want to slow down and take a break from all that, but like a shark, it doesn't stop. I want what's best for me, but if I don't focus on my education, my loved ones, and everything else, then what guy am I?

I really didn't want to go full-on deep about it, but I just wanted to answer your last question

I know how you feel. However, you aren't doing your part well enough. Sure, meds and counseling are extremely helpful, but YOU are the one who decides how to act. YOU are the one who has to realize that the you with depression is the only you. There is no way to completely overcome it, so instead you really have to start learning to deal with it. You can't use it as an excuse like you are now. You have said that you are working hard not for you, but for everyone else. Try working hard for you AND everyone else. No one else is there to pull you out of the dark hole that is depression. You have to pull yourself out. Try replacing the negative thoughts in your head with positive ones, such as things you look forward to, people you love, or moments you are proud of. What I'm saying isn't a bunch of BS. I'm sure that everyone is telling you this, but trust me, it does help. A lot. I'm almost fourteen. I have been diagnosed with ADD, OCD, and depression. I am also going through a very tough time at school recently, but I am dealing with it. You can too. I used to have a bad habit of always making excuses, but I am pretty much rid of it now. The truth is, depression and OCD aren't things anyone should use as excuses. They are part of who I am, and there is no changing who I am. I took just the post you wrote above this one and looked for any parts in which you make an excuse or say that you want to do something, but can't because of something:

[I wish I could say I'm fooling around, but sadly, no]. Every day, I try my best to work hard, not for me, but for everyone else. I try my best to work hard to achieve the highest position possible: a mature, well-rounded individual. Every day, [I try my best to fix what's wrong, but no matter what, I still have a screw loose], and every day, I think to myself: what's wrong with me? I'm not a trickster, nor feigning this. All this is real, honest to goodest RL problems. [I wish I could fix what's wrong, but problem is, I can't always find a good outlet]. My parents are tired of it, and my teachers and counselors sure as heck can't fix it. I can't fix it on my own either. I'm all alone on this now, and I feel as if everyone I know and love is either sick of me or sick of my sadness. I don't want no sympathy, but just someone to talk to, because I'm not a guy with many friends. I'm not malicious, vile, inconsiderate, or whatever you may call me, but just a loyal, honest, kind, outgoing guy who simply wishes no more than to be in peace and to be stronger than I am now. [I only wish to be a guy who's admirable, serious, mature, and loveable, but how can anyone love me if I act so high-strung and bitter].

Sexy, [I'm not a bad guy, but I have so many negative things flying around in my head so often, I get really wound up and hurt myself]. This stems from my stressful past, despite my optimism back then, and my current situation with having to balance out what's going on in my life, as you may have heard before. [I want to slow down and take a break from all that, but like a shark, it doesn't stop]. [I want what's best for me, but if I don't focus on my education, my loved ones, and everything else, then what guy am I?]

[I really didn't want to go full-on deep about it, but I just wanted to answer your last question]

Try to avoid adding things like the words in brackets. When you are writing these kinds of things, you bring out the depression as you think about what to write and then focus on writing only the bad things.

If you want someone to talk to, I'd be glad to be a friend. I know from my own experiences that having people who actually llisten to you is a great reliever of some of the stress. (Sorry about the cliché writing in my post...hopefully you understand what I'm trying to say)

You could list a dictionnary of qualities, doesn't make them appear. You don't want to change. In fact, you don't even want to change for yourself. Changing for your family? Friends? It doesn't work. Been there, done that. If you don't want to change for yourself, nothing will change. You could have 1000 friends, a nice family and an easy life and still feel sad. You have to treasure what you have, you need to work on yourself. Just sitting there and asking "what's wrong with me?" is not enough. List things, think about what you say and how you act. Why are you sad? What triggers the sadness?

At this point, seek profesionnal help. I have borderline disorder, PTSD and anxiety and a fucked up life and yet, here I am with my smiley face and my courage. Cus that's all I have.

I'm really sorry about what's happening to you, and I don't think I could ever imagine what it's like to be you. Do know that there's always something good that's coming at you. Everyone has those moments where nothing seems to go right and all you want to know is "what's wrong with me?" Trust me, I've had plenty of those moments. But even though you're seem to be stuck in a rut, know that there's going to be one day where everything is going to be okay. Try hoping for something better, rather than wallowing in misery or sadness. It seems that the cause of your current mindset may be the fact that you're relying too heavily on the hope that the depression is going to go "poof!" one day and in the meantime, you're going to continue feeling sorry for yourself. You're going to have to decide that YOU are going to be the change. Stop stressing about the past; what happened before is over, and look to the new day. You can't change what's already occurred, but you can change tomorrow, the day after that, and the years beyond.

Well said

Oh man, I feel you. My grades dropped, I got worse because of it. My problem is though, that I have 'environmental' depression. For me, school causes a deep discontentment/unhappiness, despite of how hard I try to cope. I feel like things could get better if my parents would offer me their support. But unfortunately, that isn't the case. It seems hopeless. I wish I could offer you any advice. Like Tribe said, be the change. It has to get better one day.