I saw this wallet online that i know he would love... we arent talking right now, we didnt end on good terms.

if you care: It was a LDR that was stagnate and so i found someone IRL and after 3 years of waiting I broke up with my LDR and i still love him but not as much as he loves me. He was my best friend for 5+ years and now hes not there anymore. I just saw it, and his birthday is coming up and I really want to send it to him but i also dont know what he would do. Most likely keep it but it would remind him of me, and thats would probably fuck him up

I wouldnt do it. Just because you guys arent friends anymore and you said it would mess him up. If you do it, it will unwind everything you guys had done and risk starting something again. If me and a guy broke up and he didnt want to be with me but sent me a gift I would go crazy thinking he wanted me again, and would be crushed if he rejected me after I had already gotten over him the first time.

But its your call though, sounds like a rough situation :( Good luck!

You're so right. It would really mess him up. i just know that he would like it. and i cant send it anonymously, because i know he would know it was from me. oh well. thank you for your reply

- If you really want to get it to him, if you have mutual friends, you could always send the wallet in their direction and see if they'd be interested in getting it for him?

we have 0 mutual friends. it was a LDR and he basically worshipped me and pushed his friends out of his life so as a result they wanted nothing to do with me

If he's still interested in you, then I don't think it'll be good for him to receive a present from you like that. I know it would probably upset me coming from an ex, especially because he'll probably think that it means more than it actually does.

The thought is there, but if you two aren't at a comfortable friend level, then I would err on the side of caution for his feelings and say no.

It sounds like it's probably not the best idea. It'd be something nice to do if you two had ended as friends, but the way things are now just seems like it'd bring up past memories for him. It's possible he'd read too much into it, get feelings again, then feel even worse. I'd hold off on the wallet until you know it wouldn't be something he might misinterpret, especially since you aren't talking right now.

Thanks, everyone is right, its a bad idea, and i dont want to be a dick and remind him of me in that way

I wouldn't say you're a dick, or anything bad or rude! You still care about him and seem like you're okay just being friends with him. It's just that he (doesn't seem like he's) in that spot yet, so he might mis-construe where you're coming from and set him back in trying to move on.

I think it's nice that you're thinking of him. Just that he's not ready for it yet.

Yeah you're exactly right. There will never be a time in my life that i dont love him, but unfortunately he loves me way too much still and i dont love him the way he wants.

I love giving gifts to people, its like one of the things that makes me happy

Yeah, giving gifts is always really nice. I'd say you could just send a card or a message of happy birthday, but I'm not sure if hearing from you at all would hurt him or not. I guess that would be your choice as to how you think he'd react...

It's definitely not a dick move! It's actually really sweet that you thought of him when you saw it. Maybe bookmark it for a later date? Then if things are calmed down by a holiday or something then you already have a gift in mind. And if not, then no harm and no foul. You could always just tell him happy birthday, if you're comfortable with that and think he won't react weird. It's a simple gesture that he hopefully won't read too much into.

I definitely wouldn't do it, but it's a very nice gesture. Like you said, it would probably just remind him more of you and that would make him depressed.. I'd say give it a little more time because wounds like that tend to heal in given time. The same thing happened with my best friend, except it was Christmas. He wasn't fond of me being anything but his, and we ended on awful terms.. A few months later, we decided that our lives are better with each other in it, regardless of how it seemed at the time.

I wish you all the best. :)