My "fiance" has been spending an awful lot of time with his female "friend". Cleaning her house, taking her and her kids to the playground, taking her and her kids to doctor appointments, going out to eat with her family just about every day, etc. He has his own family...my son and myself. He'd rather spend time with her than us.

They both swear they're just "friends". "Friends" don't buy "friends" $50 jeans, $40 meals, $40 bottles of vodka even though one is on probation and isn't allowed to drink.

I'm fed up. I can't do this anymore. He freaks if I even talk to another male, but he can spend entire days with another female and expect me to be perfectly fine with it???

Does he know how uncomfortable you are with this? I know, it probably seems like common sense, but if you explain your feelings up-front and point out the double standard a reasonable partner would probably want to accommodate you. I totally understand where you're coming from, and maybe this was more a rant post than asking for advice, but we would need more to go on if you want our take.

Talk with him and tell him how uncomfortable you feel about this. Sometimes men can be kinda stupid and don't notice your bad feelings about stuff like that (and that behaviour is actually quite rude of him :/)

I went through this with my ex husband. He was off the charts jealous and would go off on me if I hung out with another guy. He had a female "friend" he spent 80% of his time with, and if he wasn't, he was texting her. Even next to me! One day I bit the bullet and checked his phone, and emails. Long story short, the whole week before they were discussing him leaving me because she was 7 months pregnant by him. I got the hell outta dodge asap.

Not saying this is what is happening, just that the same situation turned extremely sour on me.

I would be incredibly weary of him, because this doesn't sound like a normal friendship. I don't know what the specifics are, maybe she's going through a hard time and he's trying to help - but it sounds like this is going beyond lending a helping hand to straight up shady behavior.

Try and sit down with him and let him know up front you're uncomfortable, and you need to know what's going on. If he doesn't respect your feelings and continues to see this girl, it's likely something else is going on and you shouldn't stick around.

All much easier said than done, but I hope this works out for you.

Like everyone else is saying, I would sit down with him and try to talk about it. Let him know there is definitely an issue with him spending the majority of his time with her, he needs to be there for you and your kids. Maybe ask him why you guys cant all hang out sometime, and have a play date with your kids? If hes not willing to do any of that, and doesn't want you to be around her, then maybe you need to let him know that, that isn't how a relationship works, and you can't marry someone like that. Its definitely hard. My fiance has some issues going on right now, and I had to tell him, until this is fixed and over, no wedding, because I don't deserve it. You definitely deserve to be treated better. Hope everything works out!

if she's just friends then he should be just fine if you girls set a play date for the kids and hang out just you and her yeah? If he tries to stop you from even contacting her or her you then somethings up. It'd be the fastest way to get an answer sadly.

That is not appropiate. I can see if he was just friends with her and maybe saw her every once in a while or does nice things for her kids. But buying her things? Choosing them over you twos family? Im sorry but no way! I listen to a radio show every morning called john jay and rich and they basically have people call in with situations like this and find out whats really going one by seeing who they send flowers to. (Some elborate skit.) You'd be suprised how many people are so shady and terrible! I would just try to talk to him about it and TELL him how uncomfortable you are and its not allowed. He would flip if you did that to him. I am sorry. I hope everything gets straightned out :(

I've tried explaining why I'm having such a problem with this until I'm blue in the face, but his retort to it EVERY TIME is "you cheated on me". We broke up last summer and I dated another guy for maybe a week. We never saw each other outside of work. I didn't know you could cheat on somebody you were broken up from. This happened almost a year ago, but it's supposed to be a valid argument. I bring it up every day that I'm sick of him hanging out with her 12+ hours a day every day. "You can trust me, nothing's going on." I've been told that multiple times in the past with exes, one being my son's bioligical father, and every time, they were cheating on me.

I've tried, multiple times, just about daily. He doesn't care. Just brings up me "cheating" on him when we split.

I'm so sorry that happened to you! But yeah, he texts her from the moment he wakes up until the moment he goes to bed. I've been told by multiple people different stories. The most recent thing I was told is that he went to someone's house that I do not like after she tried having my son taken from me, introduced his "friend" as his girlfriend, inquired about trash service (they have an illegitimate trash company), and that they were living together in MY house.

Thank you. I am VERY wary of his behavior. He has a 9 pm curfew. He brings her vehicle home with him. One night, she "accidentally left her son's medication in her car" and he had to "drop it off". It doesn't take an hour to drive less than a mile and back... He gets extremely angry if I ask about his whereabouts. BUT. He's the one that keeps track of my location on Facebook and even went to far as to install a GPS tracker in my vehicle.

We have hung out before, and he sits next to her. He'll mostly focus his attention on her. He already said "he can't marry (me) because (I) cheated on (him)". We broke up for a bit last summer. I started seeing somebody but nothing ever happened between us and I never even seen him outside of work. I don't know what his issue is with me and men because lol I have cut ties with most males (even ones I've been friends with for 10+ years) at his request, but he sees no problem with spending that much time with her.

We have and she talks so much crap about him, it's ridiculous. But they're ALWAYS together.

Thank you. I've tried, and failed. It's very shady, extremely inappropriate. I wouldn't do that to him, why does he keep doing this to me?

UPDATE: I've been bringing him hanging out with her so often that he said he'll leave me if I say one more thing about it.

UPDATE: I've been bringing him hanging out with her so often that he said he'll leave me if I say one more thing about it. <----- Then you get the goat and leave him first.

If you were broken up then it doesn't count as cheating by ANYONE'S STANDARDS. <------ Breaks are meant to either allow us to move on or find a better place in our own selves before trying to relationship again.

Introducing said friend as a girlfriend? <------ I'd have peaced out when I heard that (after considering the source)

Trying to get your kid taken from you? <------- What good does that do her? Current BF isn't the daddy either so idk what she is thinking there.

Drives her car not only when hanging out, but also to home and park for the night? <---- I'd call an anytime towing place and tell them an unwanted vehicle has been abandoned on the property.

She says bad things about him? <------- I'd consider why she is, is it to make you more disgusted with him so she can step in? I mean his current actions ARE shady and suspicious, but still consider why she'd say it to you then allow him around her space so long each day.

Putting a GPS in YOUR car yet flips if you ask where he went? <---- Someone is acting nutso and it's not you dear. Call a friend to get it taken off your car and break it. if he can't answer questions then why does he get to do this?

No way. When someone accuses you of something when they know damn well you are innocent, that means they are the ones who are doing something wrong!!! He put a GPS in your car??!?!!? Told you he would leave you if you bring it up again?

You seriously need to think about taking a long break from this guy. I understand the family part and the love... but he sounds so toxic right now. Everything about this is terrible.... my heart is broken for you :(

Get out, get out get out get out!!

He's definitely cheating on you. Get out!

I agree with all of this. He threatened to breakup with you for bringing up his suspicious behavior? I would straight up tell him, "Oh yeah? Bye. Don't let the door hit you on the way out" and break up with him. Reading everything in your original post and then reading that, I don't even know this guy and he's making me mad. Fuck that guy =/

Acting like a father to her kids and buying her stuff all the time are clear signs that he's together with her. I can understand from time to time if she needs a favor and is a single mother, but I'm sorry the way he's paying attention to her is more than just friends.

Introduced her as his girlfriend and that they were living together in YOUR house? I would have kicked his ass out a long time ago if I didn't lay his ass out first when he got back.

This woman is not your friend. She would lie and say all sorts of nasty things about him to you just to get you out of the picture. Although by the looks of it those nasty things don't sound too far from the truth.

Cheaters often get paranoid about their significant others because they know what they're going around doing and start assuming that their partner will do the same since they themselves are capable of it. The fact that he won't answer any of your questions, doesn't want to talk about it even though it upsets you, and then turns around and starts tracking your car are all signs that he himself is being unfaithful if his other actions didn't already .

He is not a good guy and is disrespectful towards you. You need to break it up with him before he plays you the fool. You will find another man who is loving, faithful and deserving of you

Any updates on the situation over there?

Sounds like you're in a very toxic and one sided relationship. Even if he is not cheating on you sexually, he is not there for you emotionally which is worst. Hope all goes well for you, clean break and all!