--This is gonna be long. I wrote it during said event instead of crying myself to sleep to distract myself. If you decide to read it, thank you!--

You ever get struck with the idea that someday you're going to die and all this, this is going to end? Cause like I have that at least once a day where I'm doing normal stuff then suddenly this great miserable feeling would try and clamp my heart and make me want to cry. And more often than not, I do cry, a lot, until I get tired and fall asleep. You ever think how this all works out in the end? How would you feel when you go? Would it hurt, would you remember, would you lose yourself or would it be just like a half remembered dream? Sometimes I think if it's like that then I don't want to die because I don't want to forget a single thing about my life. It may not be interesting and as awesome and as adventurous as others but I have a family and friends and I would like to remember them and think of them when I finally go. I fear of being reborn because that means I have to live life over again and it's tiring. I think it's all tiring and sometimes I just want it to be over just so I will FINALLY know what's been bugging me this whole time but at the same time I don't want it to end because I'm afraid of what I'll see and what I'll feel but more importantly, who I'll forget. The people and friends and family I would leave behind. Every single time I am struck with this thought I get lonely because I feel like everybody's going on with their lives and I'm here crying over something I knew would happen to all of us, so why am I the only one worrying about it?

On another thought, I wonder if there's movies in heaven. Would I be able to watch movies that will be released in the future after my time?

I could safely say I am not suicidal, not even thinking about hurting myself or others. I just want to talk and maybe hear what anyone has to say or know if anyone feels the way I do. I never talked to my family and friends about this cause it's hard to explain. My personality (or the person as they know me) is very very far from this anxiety filled post.

I sometimes have mini panic attacks thinking about this sometimes. Like having the fear of I am not ready to give up life yet because there are so many things I want to do and people I want to meet. I also fear of having to die in a horrible way and things of that nature.

Im usually not a person who shows my fears or anxiety but its always hidden away deep down inside. As far as dealing with it, this might sound cheesy but I love music so much and I believe it can relate to many things in life. Certain songs just make me feel likes its okay to be afraid, and that I just need to live life and dont be scared to do things while you can. So I have been trying to just talk to myself and say it happens to everyone and just live right now and do things that make it worth living and push those thoughts aside for now.

I always hope I will live a long life, it is so scary to not know how or when itll happen. But I just dont want to waste too much time worrying when I can do something fun or happy.

Of course it doesn't always work and my anxiety reappears in full force.... but it has helped.

You are totally not alone on this feeling! I have felt this and many fears for my whole life........ but I am getting better!

I also worry about what would happen after..... but I will try to cross the bridge hopefully way down the line and everything will be ok :(

If you ever feel alone, just know you're not! I am here anytime you would like to talk! ^-^

hugs

I think about the same thing quite a lot, actually. Although oddly enough, it's stopped bothering me as much now that I'm working at an assisted living facility. I see people near the end of their lives every day and since I've been here, a few people have passed. I don't know if I'm getting immune to it or if I'm just beginning to accept death as a natural part of life.

I'm not nearly as religious as some people. I grew up Catholic, but now I'm not entirely sure where I 'fit' I guess. Catholics aren't supposed to believe in reincarnation, but I do. I guess I just believe that there's so much to life, it's so delicate and yet so involved and so different for every one of us, that we can't possibly just 'end' to nothing. I feel like there's got to be something after, something that means as much or more to us as what we're living now. Or what would be the point? If a creator would go through so much to create such diversity, I don't think He/She would just make it suddenly stop. It makes more sense that we go on to another plane of existence or get reincarnated or something. That's just my opinion, anyways, take from it what you will.

I felt exactly that way. I'll try finding songs to calm me down. Maybe listening to music might help me. Thank you very much for taking the time to share this with me. It means a lot to me. hugs

I don't think I'll ever be immune to it. :c I even feel empathy with the dying and their relatives.

When it comes to religion, I don't fit anywhere too, though I am catholic. I believe in a lot of things others don't.

I think about it a lot these days having just watched my mom pass away last month. We were really close and I wonder if she knows just how much I love and miss her. I wonder is she in heaven chatting away with my sister who passed a long time ago and what is it like. I don't want to think this is it all there is because that would be too hard to bear. I want to be able to see her and my sister when I do go but... I would like to live a very long, long time. I have things I want to see and do.

Sorry if this is rambling, this has been a couple of very emotional tear filled days.

hugs

I have days where I have anxiety about this also. Those moments when you really stop and think about it.

I don't think I fear death itself since it comes to all things but I do fear having a life not lived. I want to look back on my life and think to myself "Yes, it was good." I think it is good to sometimes think that we don't know how much time we have so that we can do the best we can everyday even if its little things that bring us joy, but not to think about it so much that it burdens us.

That is in general what I try to think everyday but I have alot of anxiety in general so there are some days when it really gets to me.

And yes, I also worry about missing out on new movies! ;)

[BLANKED]

I think it's totally normal to experience some of these anxieties. I've had to deal with what feels like a disproportionally high number of deaths in my family over the last few years, most of which were due to terminal illness that we knew was just a matter of time.

While that was happening, I was so preoccupied with death. Like thinking about it daily, thinking about what my relatives must be thinking, how I would go on without them, how I would feel in their place. I had (still have, really) plenty of other depression/anxiety triggers and thinking about death all the time was debilitating.

I did go to a therapist to talk and that was a good thing. Another thing I did was to make a nice notebook where I write down quotes or other meaningful things that help me put life and death in context, or just comfort me when I'm upset thinking about death. Reading it really helps keep my thoughts from running in circles and making my anxiety worse. Mine is mostly quotes from books and some meditations/non-religious prayers. But religious texts could help too if you are religious.

For me at least, thinking about death to a certain extent does help me put it in perspective and be less afraid. But past a certain point, it just causes too much anxiety to be constructive.