So earlier this week it dawned on me that I wasn't really being picky about what I was wearing but I was experiencing some pretty severe gender dysphoria, but anyway long story short I had an epiphany of sorts and came out as a trans boy to my close friends and my father. I guess I'm just seeking advice at this point, from other trans guys or trans people, or people that have experience with them? I don't know if that makes sense. I just feel like my mind has been running a mile a minute ever since I realized I was actually like. TRANS. Like boy I am a boy. Ignore my rambling and yeah. Any advice would be lovely.

hugs Congratulations on coming out. I...think that's the right thing to say? I don't really know as I don't have any experience with anyone trans. But I support you nonetheless. I hope your life gets easier from here and I wish you the best of luck!

Hey dude! I'm a cis female and i've currently been dating a trans male for over a year now! I've learned so much about him from his ups and downs to his triumphs! Although i can't personally say everything about his life will be the same as your journey but I can kinda give you a heads up on things to help you 'pass' or make you feel good! But remember it really isn't about 'passing', as long as you feel good and are happy then you should never care what people think or see! Just do you!

Most trans men I know are taking testosterone which i'm pretty sure you have to go to gender therapy for 6 months to get a note to bring to your doctor who will help give you shots of it every few weeks or so! My boyfriend currently isn't doing that because he would still like to bare children and taking T makes it hard to stay fertile.

When it comes to the chest area most trans men wear a compression shirt. They can be found online for about $50, but i know on tumblr I see a lot of giveaways for one if money is an issue! DO NOT USE AN ACE BANDAGE TO BIND. It's extremely harmful to your body and chest and can cause a lot of problems down the road. My bf really hates wearing a compression shirt because it's pretty uncomfortable (i've tried his on before and i can agree it's not too fun) BUT, my bf is currently looking into getting top surgery where they completely remove the breasts and reconstruct your chest. It's a fairly expensive procedure so there's a few ways to pay. Look into if your insurance company will cover it. Now it varies from state to state so I can't say the same for all but in Seattle (which is where we're from) they are starting to make it medically necessary for insurance companies to cover most (if not all) of the cost! So try checking that out :) Or if that's not an option there's a really good website called gofundme which you can post to tons of different social media sites where lots of people can donate and probably would be willing to! Even on subeta you could post in the fourms! I'd totally donate :D

I'm not too sure how much advice i can give after this. Like I said i'm not trans, but i have had a really in depth look into trans* folk. Like seriously, 3 of my closest friends are trans males hahah. Have you chosen a name you'd like to go by yet? It's good you came out to your friends and father! Are they being pretty supportive?

ANYWAYS, sorry i've rambled for so long. I'm just really passionate about the lgbtaq community. I volunteer at queer youth camps so i'm all about this stuff. Super proud of you and congrats! Please let me know if there's anything you'd like to talk about or just if you want a new friend :3

Thank you! Support is so nice

Yes! I am hoping to maybe get on testosterone soon. I have my first therapy appointment this week. I definitely hope time goes by fast between now and when I can start taking T. I'm worried for some health reasons, too, but yeah.

I have two binders currently, actually. I have a third one on the way, too. I have one from underworks but it's not as comfortable as the one from a company called gc2b. And as for surgery cost, yes! I met a boy at a support group with the same insurance as me and his costs were under $1,000, which I'm sure you are probably aware is a nice cost compared to like. The upwards of $6000 surgery can cost.

But yes thank you you're boy friend seems lucky. I'm trying really hard to pick a name but it's so difficult. I feel like everyone is supportive right now, but not everyone understands how serious I'm being and how important this all is to me. But I plan on coming out to my mother in the next few days, so hopefully that goes well.

Hi.

For a small bit of background: my name's Royal, I'm disabled, 28 years old (29 in a handful of months), and I've been "out" as trans for over ten years. I live with my partner of 10 years, as well.

The state I live in currently is terrible for any sort of legal transitioning, yet health care coverage and discrimination laws is usually decent (the company my partner works at actually extends health care coverage specifically for the "partner" label as well as having strict policies against discrimination based on spousal gender or orientation, which saves my bacon with my health problems).

I don't know about advice, but I'm happy to talk about/answer questions about some of my life experiences if you want.

Congrats on your moment of realization and being open to taking the next step past realization (coming out) I'm cisgendered but I have loved people dearly who have been on various points around the middle of the gender spectrum.

I don't really have much advice beyond one point: Don't rush. Just like any other part of your identity sometimes growing into some of these aspects can be the best approach. You mentioned picking a name? Play around with them, try some out and see if anything appeals to you on a day to day. If you want someone to bounce names back and forth feel free to poke me (I love names! And making new friends :D )

As to the feeling of people not taking this as seriously as you, I think in a way you may be right. Not that they don't think it is important, but at this point they might not realize the gravity of this for you. YET. Like your identity give it time, give them time. While the change of being open is a positive one, it is still a change and folks are still adjusting. Speaking of which, how are you adjusting to being aware and open about this?

If you do decide to get the surgery, let us know on here - I'll help out a little and I'm sure there are others who will too. With a GoFundMe or something similar!

Can I ask if you've chosen to do hormone therapy or any surgeries? I suppose those are my biggest topics I have questions on.

I've finally picked a name at least! I don't quite think I'm rushing, but the people around me who aren't very supportive think I am and that I'm going through a phase. But other people have been working on it, my dad is taking me very seriously. I think he's trying really hard to use the correct pronouns and it makes me feel good.

And I have to say I'm adjusting pretty well. I'd almost say I'm honeymooning because I haven't really had any negative reactions. I've been having dreams for a while where my brain identifies me as male and it feels good.

Thank you thank you I'll definitely keep you guys updated. I made a tumblr sort of keeping track of my journey, and I'm also opening an art shop on here to maybe help save a little bit. If not for surgery then for hormones, binders, and what have you. I can also post a link to that if anyone is interested.

Congrats on picking a name!! That is awesome and I imagine that it feels like almost a piece settling into place? Whether on not that's accurate I'm hoping it's a positive feeling XD I'm really glad you're adjusting well :3 From an outside standpoint you sound more solidly happy (sorry another description I'm not sure if it makes sense ;p) and having your dreams sync with your conscious identity is fantastic!

Hell yes point me towards your art shop <3

Ah it really does make me happy having a name. I also got a haircut and feel like I pass so much better, but anyway the name I picked is Aaron Thomas. (first and middle lmao) It just. I don't know I get a little bummed when people doubt me or tell me it's a phase but thinking of how happy it's made me and how excited I am to potentially start hormones in the future and have surgery just kind of wipes them out. Like too much positive for the small negative to bother me.

And the shop is here

That is a fine name! When you combine the two I'm sure you do pass better ^-^ Hey, it's ok to get bummed when people doubt you or tell you it's a phase. I'm just glad that right now the positive is washing it away the negativity :3 It's still good to talk about what gets under your skin though so it doesn't build up. When it doubt just talk it out.... well that sounded cheesy and rhyming. Still a sound sentiment though!

OuO Going to go pester you on your art thread once I find my references :D

First off: I've not had either; I'm disabled and my health is poor, and I only recently acquired any sort of insurance that might cover those things. The places I've lived in didn't have good support, either, for things like therapy or medical assistance, much less surgery (and when I was at home, originally my parents were completely unsupportive).

I do have plans for HRT and at the very least, CRS, but that's in the undetermined future; we're currently in the middle of house hunting and that's a big chunk of time and stress and change all its own. :)

I also tried recently to acquire binders for the interim but that failed spectacularly due to some of my disabilities and body shape. I'm glad you discovered GC2B! They're the company I tried most recently, and while they didn't work out, I was very impressed with how very discreet they are about their buying and shipping, and how their customer service is so professional. Further: they're run by a small group of people who fall under the queer umbrella so I'm glad I was able to support them with my purchases even if it didn't work out for me personally.

I can also answer questions about the research I've done for surgeries, or for legal name changes in my areas, but I don't know if that's the kind of thing you'd want info on, since those are all pretty state-specific problems to tackle for us trans folk.

Finally, I can unfortunately confirm that folks around you thinking--sometimes even accusing--you of going through a "phase" is a pretty common theme. It sucks. I spent my childhood and teen years hearing all of what I wanted dismissed outright or derailed into "just a phase" kinds of comments. It wasn't until I left home and restructured my relationship with my parents that I was given any real agency over my own life in these matters.

I'm very happy you're finding yourself, and that you found a name that makes you feel that good. I felt similarly when someone nicknamed me Roy as a joke. It stuck because I liked it so much--it just felt like it "fit" me, which I'm sure you understand that feeling very well!

(I later added to it as "Royal" to complete my first name, to reflect the one I was born with, as a kind of acknowledgement of where I came from and how far I've come, since they hold similar meanings.)