Hey guys. I've been having some pretty bad sad times lately. Let me give you some brief details on why I'm not gonna be on as much as I used to...

-Depression

The main reason. I've been suffering some pretty bad depression lately. I've been having some family problems at home, as well as problems at school. I've been working excessively to get to my goal, but it's taken a turn for the worst. With all the hard work I've been doing, it's been stressing me out a whole lot. I've also been trying to deal with my family, but they've been making my mood worse. I can't find a pain space to vent out, and that makes my mood rather worse. I also got into an argument with my family yesterday, which also made my mood worse, and caused a whole lot of broken hearts. I've been trying to let go of all the bad days in order to have the good ones, and that worked temporarily, but then the weekend came around, and things got tense during that time. My mom had really made me blown a fuse, threatening to call the cops, calling me a manipulative, selfish brat, and just making me plain old upset. I've also caused quite an uproar in the SB yesterday, which caused a whole lot of hate and annoyance, and I feel as if my depressed state is causing problems for others. I don't wanna get a lot of flak for the mess I caused, and I don't want to lose my friends just because of this state, so I must leave Subeta till I feel better and snap out of this mental state.

-Busy Schedule

I've been busy lately, and it's hard to stay on track when you're bored and constantly sad, so I have to come on less often only to keep up with events not only on Subeta, but in real life as well. I'm sorry if I don't get back to you as soon as possible, but I need to get better...

-Trying New Things

I want to look for new things to draw, and new activities to enjoy. I need to get my head out of the clouds and get interested in new things. I haven't been able to play Subeta much lately, but I need to go and let others have their peace, and let them enjoy themselves, while I enjoy myself.

-Suicidal

I've been having thoughts of suicide lately. Some of you may think I won't kill myself, but my constant state of depression is pushing it even further, and I feel that killing myself is gonna leave me in peace, so I must leave others alone and ponder this thought on my own, because there are some people who care about me, and they wouldn't know what would happen if I died...

-Losing Friends

I'm a shy guy, but I don't wanna lose any friends either, so I'm refraining from talking on the SB in order to not get blocked or hated. I haven't done anything bad to anyone, but my depression is making everyone hate and loathe me, so I'm not gonna talk to anyone for awhile, at least, in the SB, in order to keep it peaceful. I don't wanna make anyone my enemy from my current state.

If you guys just want to know the small details, read the section called "Take Care" on my profile.

My Profile

I wish to stay around longer, but life is just too stressful, and I can't keep up anymore. If you guys want to wish me farewell, leave a comment or an sMail, and I'll read it when I'm around. If you guys want to give me more flak, just don't, okay? I don't need any more stress, and I don't want to kill myself over one little message. I mean it.

Take care, you guys, and wish me luck on my journey to conquer my depression...

waves one last time before leaving

Special Mention(s)

I'm Very Sorry...

Those who haven't been mentioned, don't worry. I can be quite forgetful of who to mention, but that doesn't mean I hate you. I love you all, and I hope that when I come back, I'm in prime condition. Ciao.

One last thing. Since I'm gonna be on and off for awhile, how about some farewell music?

Farewell, My Friends

hope you can get help and feel better soon!

kitten wishes you a speedy recovery

- I think this will be good for you honestly. Some time to just you to focus on yourself without the distractions of stuff that goes on here is something I do sometimes as well and it truly does help.

I hope everything works out for you. :)

Please take care of yourself! squishyhugs I'll be here to chat anytime you want to pop back on.

Baby boy...I've given you personal contact info, so anytimeyou need someone to talk to, I'm always here for you. Don't ever, ever, EVER think suicide is an option. There are people waiting to give you anything you need. Get better and come back to us, okay Jaey?

ILY darling.

You are going through a tough time, I understand that, and you do not need to apologize to me for anything. Whatever said was simply, because we wanted to help, but it seemed non of our advice meant anything. I know how you feel, and I understand your frustration love. I don't know you real well, I've only seen you in the SB a time, or two, but if you need someone to talk to please know that you can sMail me at any time hun. Suicide is not something you want to do, I'm sure of that.

Don't feel sorry for being upset. Please try to take time for yourself. If you need someone to talk to I am here, or call a hotline. I wish you the best and I hope you realize the reason I pushed you is that I want you to get help. This is not something to take on alone ask for help if you need it okay?

I don't know who you are, but I hope things improve for you! Try to take care of yourself, even if it's very hard. Just looking at the replies here I know there are a lot of people who care for you, even when things get tough try not to forget that, okay?