Ending a Friendship
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Over that last year, I've been learning who I really am. And that I have a clear idea of who I am, I'm considering ending a year long friendship and breaking off ties with a group. But, this is the first time I want to end a friendship. I feel bad for feeling this way, because I've had plenty of people end friendships with me. But, I'm just not happy with these group of friends anymore.
Last year, I wanted to talk to more people. I went to a club at school and met several people. One of them, C, became close to me. This group has been very nice to me, and I had fun with them.
4 months ago, I met my boyfriend. He has rekindled my love of video games and made me realize who I really am.
My personality clashes with the group. I'm overly silly and potentially offensive due to me having no filter when I speak, Agnostic Atheist, and I like watching animation. The group is more serious and politically correct, Christian (and not accepting of negative views of Christianity), and like things like the Walking Dead and Games of Thrones.
They hate my boyfriend, E, and have only met him twice. The first time, they ignored him. The second time, they felt like he was obnoxious and offensive. I feel like they didn't try to get to know him. And if they can't accept his personality, they won't accept my true personality. I've not been myself around them, and I don't feel comfortable being myself. This alone tells me that they aren't the group for me.
C really cares for me. I would feel bad leaving her. But recently, she's been nagging a lot and acting superior. She is not accepting of what E and I do in the bedroom, which is something she doesn't have a right to comment on (she has no experience in such things). She gets upset that I won't look for another job closer to me, even though I can't due to a current situation. She doesn't like that I don't go to the club anymore. I'm just sick of her acting like she's a know-it-all.
I have a few other friends that I like much better, and I can be myself around them. E and I want to go to another club at school that is related to gaming, anime, etc. But, if we go to that club, we would most likely be approached by C. I don't want to deal with the drama.
What should I do? Should I feel bad for feeling like I don't want to friends with C and the group anymore?
I had a similar falling out with a group of friends who were considerably more religious than me, for a few of the same reasons. I really hate that feeling of getting judged by very religious friends about how I live my life, how I go about dating, how it always seemed like their main goal was to herd me into their fold. I totally get the feeling of not jelling with that. Don't feel bad at all.
Let it fade. Stop talking and hanging out with them. I'd start going to your other club, and tell them you've got other engagements and activities. They should get the signal that you're not interested. If they confront you about it, as they might be concerned about either your friendship or your soul, tell them you're not into that lifestyle. Let them know you're not trying to tell them they're right or wrong, you're just interested in different things.
Downside is you might have to deal with them treating you like a lost soul or something like that, especially if they really wanted to convert you. Just let them, don't worry about it. But if they're actually respectful and understanding that should be just fine, they will understand. Be upfront but don't try to convince or argue with them, let them have any drama they create for themselves. Some people are just dramatic and that's how they live. It's not up to you to convince them, and they should understand that sometimes you just can't be friends with everyone. Whether or not they're okay with it isn't your responsibility, just be yourself.